Players:
Summary: Jonothon gives Lucas some advice on growing up.
Date: February 1, 2010
Tombstones
Rating: PG
Xavier Mansion - Graveyard
The path from the Japanese Gardens leads to a clearing among the trees. The wildness of the woods has been removed from this area, leaving a section of low, nearly always fresh-cut grass. Spaced out among the grass are several memorials and headstones, marking the plots for those who've died among the makeshift Xavier family. Or rather, extended family. The area is mostly covered by trees, cutting out all direct sunlight.
A lovely place this. As befitting a graveyard. Even though it's winter, meaning that in spite of the heat there's no greenery, it's still a nice place. Yet clearly not nice enough to keep Jonothon here. With hands stuck in pockets, and head bowed, he turns to leave the graveyard. Didn't even know about this place until having passed it through to find you and Rashi, so he came back today to see if his friend was represented here. Angelo isn't. Bah. His shoulders are slumped in an obvious sign of melancholy.
Lucas is walking into the cemetary, moving directly towards one of the monuments. The last name is Frederikson - It's Coyote's. He doesn't seem to notice the other man, looking around in the dirty grass as if he lost something.
Stopping at the edge of the graveyard, Jonothon stops as something catches his eye. Namely you. «What are you doing?» Sure it appears as though you are looking for something, but he asks anyway.
Lucas turns and looks around, finally seeing Jonothon. He furrows his brow, and runs his giant gloved hand over his head, smashing his long hair up out of his face. "Um… Yesterday… Ah left my notebook here…" He glances at the ground, and then back at Jonothon. "You talk to me in my head."
You left what here? Oh. «You sure you..» Trailing off as you state the obvious, Jonothon pauses a moment. «Can't talk any other way, mate. Unless you can use sign language.» Hands in pockets he shrugs at you. Since he has no other way, he goes right on using his telepathy, and gets back to the notebook. «Sure you didn't destroy that notebook? You were burning stuff when Rashmi called for me yesterday.»
Huh? Hmm? Bad player. No biscuit.
Lucas looks down at his hands, in gloves that aren't capable of sign language, and he furrows his brow, "Ah don't reckon that was funny, if'n it was meant to be." He tilts his head a little, "Can you read my thoughts?"
«No, I didn't mean for it to be funny.» Jonothon doesn't know what part, but he didn't mean to joke regardless. As for reading thoughts he shrugs, «Technically, but I don't. Hate that bollocks. When I want to speak I think loud and you hear it. That doesn't involve me making mental contact with your head at all. No chance of reading minds that way.» Which is the complete truth. Jono's the only telepath he knows who refuses to read another's thoughts. «Don't give a damn what you think. Don't want to hear it.» Another shrug follows that.
Lucas nods a little, "Good." He looks around a little more, and then bends down, picking up a wet notebook from the grass and a giant kidnergartner-sized pencil. He looks back a Jonothon, "How do you deal with that?" He tilts his head a bit, "Your face Ah mean."
Standing there at the edge of the area, Jonothon's eyes narrow for the question. «You always this rude?» For it was a rather thoughtless question. Yet, even in spite of it, the man answers. «What choice do I have? I want to live. There's no hiding from this kind of thing. So you either continue on as best your able, or you let yourself die.» Looking away, Jono's hair falls forward to obscure his eyes. «It comes with perks too. I get a lot of benefits for what I lost.» Tone says it's never enough though.
Lucas shakes his head, "Ah ain't tryin' to be rude, Professor." He holds up his glove covered hand. "Ah can't turn mine off neither. And… So, there's a lot Ah can't do too…" He shrugs, "Sorry. Ah just… Ah thought maybe if Ah… you know…" He sighs, looking off into the woods. "Whatever."
«Just Jono. I'm not a professor.» Honest! Just works here, no license to teach. Never mind the proper education to get that title. «That I'd have some special advice that'd make it all better?» The angry tone is gone with that. «Wish I did, mate, but I've been this way eight years. Wallowing in your angst doesn't help either. Trust someone who's ruined his life wallowing in it. From what I've heard, you don't listen, but that's the truth anyway. Your power is there. The sooner you learn to accept it, the quicker you can improve it.»
Lucas rolls his eyes, "Everyone says that. Ah DO listen. Just…" He swallows, and walks slowly over to Jonothon, "Look, Ah don't want this. Ah don't wanna be here. Ah wanna be able to have normal hands. Type on a computer. Dial a phone. Ah'm sorry it pisses me off, but it does." He sighs, "Ah'll bite. How did ya'll ruin your life?"
A shrug as you roll your eyes. «If everyone says it, they might just be right.» Brows arch as you tell him you want to be normal. For some reason that has brown eyes narrowing with laughter. If Jonothon could smile, he would be. It's funny to find someone like you spewing at you. «You think I wanted to destroy my own face? You think I wanted to read minds and have no heart?» No, he doesn't believe you think that. «Problem is, you got the powers you do. I have no promises for you. No faery wand to make it all better. Get your head out of your arse and learn to deal with it. Instead of whining about it, find the means to improve it.»
«How did I ruin my life? Doing /exactly/ what you are doing.» Jono points a finger at you. «Had my head so far up my own arse I convinced myself the sky wasn't blue. I ran away from everything, pushed away everyone, and convinced myself that I could be normal no matter the cost. …And it cost me everything. Why am I here, Lucas? Because I have nothing and no one. I've no where else to go. I made such a mess of my life I can't put it back together. So here I am, years later, with the same problems, and with nothing else to show for it.»
Lucas sighs, looking down at Jonothon's shoes, and he gives a little nod. "Everyone here hates me…" He looks back up at Jonothon, then, and he seems a little softer in expression. "Ah don't know how to fix this."
«Stop being a wanker.» There's a joking tone about that however. Jonothon answers a bit more honestly in, «Not everyone here hates you, Lucas. The problem is that /you/ hate you. You're so fixated on your hands that you're failing to notice what's going on around you. What you really need to do is accept that the hand issue is bollocks, but life moves on. There are millions of people in America alone who live without hands, but you don't think about that, do you? Yours are just in gloves.» He pauses and spreads his hands. «You need to stop hating yourself. That's how you fix it. Not bloody easy, but that's how you do it. I think I finally managed it. The not hating part, and in doing so I think I figured out how to correct the no face problem. Now I have to work on it. You can do the same. Rashmi's wanting to help if you let her.»
Lucas chews on the inside of his cheek, thinking about that. "Fine. You're right. Rash doesn't. Robyn is tolerating me. You." He shrugs, "But Mikhail tried to kill me yesterday. Dallas Ah know hates me. Ah don't… Ah don't know what to do."
Jonothon listens and then ticks off on his fingers, «Mikhail doesn't know what possessed means. He thinks it was you, and not the demon, so he attacks you. It's not you he truly hates, Lucas, but that thing that controlled you. Mikhail can't separate the two. As for Dallas, well, he's a wanker. What do you do? Keep the friends you have, and ignore those you can't do anything about. A part of life is realizing that not everyone will like you. It happens.»
Lucas sighs again, something that's probably starting to get old. "Ah liked Dallas…" He nods a little, and then scratches his head. "You know, Ah wasn't always like this. Ah had friends. Ah was top of my class. Fuck, popular even. Ah just… Bein' a freak makes that hard."
There's a nod about it being hard. «Life only ends if you let it.» Jonothon tells you as he tucks hands into pockets. «It can either be miserable, or you can do something about it. You haven't been doing anything about it. The choice is yours.»
Lucas get's a little louder, then, but it's not anger, it's healthy frustration, "Ah AM tryin'!" He huffs, "Maybe Ah just don't know what to do!"
Jonothon tilts his head at you. «Yelling at me doesn't help you.» He points out without mercy. «You want the easy answer. There isn't one.» Not that he's found anyway. «You want to fix the hand problem? Schedule extra danger room time and go in there to find out how your power works. Push it as far as it goes. Try and stop it. Wear yourself out. It takes months. Maybe even longer, but it means you're trying. Maybe somewhere along the way you'll find out what you need.»
Lucas nods a bit, "…sorry…" He bites his lip some, and then nods once more. "Look… He won't let me help him… but… Ah'm worried about Dallas. Can you… you know… Ah dunnow… Check up on him…? Maybe?"
A firm nod about looking in on Dallas. «I have been.» Jonothon assures. «Dallas is hurting. Just like you are, but for different reasons. He's trying to deal with them in his own way. That's why he's acting as he is. Give him some time and he'll come around. For now though, see the friends you can, and try and learn about your powers. Yes, it sucks, but it doesn't have to.»
Lucas shakes his head a bit, "Sir… Dallas is going to get someone or himself hurt. You have to understand… He's feeling weak. Vulnerable. And… He has some… private… troubles that are, um… eating at him, too. It's gonna drive him to do somethin' right stupid, sir, Ah know it…"
«I know.» Jonothon sighs out the mental words. «Problem is, sometimes you can't stop the people like that. I'll be trying to help, and others know about it, but don't expect miracles. If he wants to hurt himself, he's going to.» For all that it's clear Jono doesn't want that.
Lucas looks down, and just mutters, "Ah broke him. Ah'll make sure he doesn't do it then."
Jonothon shakes his head at that. «Lucas.. Dallas isn't your responsibility. You'll make things a hundred times worse if you try anything. Someone will get badly hurt if you do. Please don't. Right now you need to focus on learning about your powers, and making it up to Rashmi for being an arse.»
Lucas sighs again, a trademark perhaps? "Look, Ah ain't gonna like, just try anythin'. Just… yeah… No worries, Ah reckon…" He looks down at the notebook, and back at Jonothon. "So… Do Ah like… have detention?"
«Leave him alone, Lucas.» Jonothon can't make it any more clear than that. «Dallas isn't your problem. You have more than enough of your own.» Far more than enough. «..Do you want detention?» Why would he give you detention? The look the man gives you is a strange one.
Lucas shakes his head a little, "No, Ah just thought… you know… what with yesterday in the woods an' all… Losin' control…"
If he could snort, Jonothon would. «If that were the case I'd still be in there. Years after I graduated.» So no, no detention. «If anyone gets trouble it'll be Mikhail. Not you.» The man assures as he nods to the school. «I'm heading back. You going to be okay?»
Lucas nods, "Yeah. Ah'm good, sir." He seems genuine about it, clutching his notebook up to his chest like it was precious. If he looked, Jonothon could probably guess by the pattern of the scribbles that it was poetry.
The notebook isn't questioned. If there's anyone who respects your privacy, it's Jonothon. That's why he's the weird telepath who never reads minds. «Make sure you do something nice for Rashmi. She could really use it.» A hand lifted in farewell, and the man heads back to the school.
Lucas nods again, giving another look at Coyote's headstone, before making his own way.
