Hercules
Character Name Here!
Hercules_icon.jpg
Portrayed By Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson
Gender Male
Date of Birth ??
Age At least 3000
Zodiac Sign ??
Aliases Herc
Place of Birth Greece
Current Location New York, New York, USA
Occupation The Prince of Power, God of Strength, and all around Lady's Man
Known Relatives Zeus, Hera, Ares, Apollo
Significant Other None
Identity Hercules
Known Abilities Super Strength, Super Endurance, Immortality
First Appearance ???

Hercules, the Prince of Power, the God of Strength, and Defender of Olympus. Zounds! That be a mouthful. But what doth ye expect from a God but many deeds? Deeds breed titles, and titles breed ever more titles. Thee is yearning to know my story, forsooth?

History

Okay, look, I'll just point out that I was born more than two thousand years before Shakespeare was born, let alone the language that would become English. And to top it all off, I am Greek. Ye Olde Butchered Englishe is so 16th century. Not to mention embarrassing, I sounded like some sort of Neanderthal throwback or something. But with a body like this, I guess people just overlooked what was really just a speech impediment. So the rest of this interview, dear viewer, will be conducted in modern English as is proper.

I understand that your time is limited, and I have another interview to give in three hours, so I will summarize my glorious history. My greatness was foretold only a year after my birth, when I slew several vipers that my God-mother, Hera, sent to test me. An auspicious start, on the path that leads to this God you see before you, yes?

How is it, you ask, how my Father is a god, while my mother was a mere mortal? Simply put, my father's a dick. He took the guise of her husband, the King of Troezen, and seduced her. Yes, I did just call my father a dick. He's fine with it, in fact he has confided in me that without him being there, people would have only themselves to blame when things go wrong. Hah!

In my younger days, kicking about Ancient Greece, I sailed with the Argonauts, I battled the Hyrda… Now there was a worthy foe. Dozens of heads! And every time you cut one off, it grew two more in its place. Oh, yes, anyways I saw the Medusa die, saw the Golden Fleece recovered… and I slew the Nemean Lion. That beast could only die by strangulation. That's how I came to possess the Skin of the Nemean Lion. Better than any modern armor, let me tell you.

My Twelve Labors? Well, there are three that stand out, for they earned me the three enemies who have trembled in my shadow since then, and who occasionally vex me with their presence. As if they don't realize I have better things to do than hand them their behinds in a proper wrestling ring. The previously mentioned Nemean Lion, and the Hydra, were repugnant creations of Typhon. Himself the spawn of a God who should have known better, and a Titaness. Though she was pretty hot, if I might say so, call me dear, we should catch up.

The man-eating Stymphalian Birds were apparently sacred to Ares, but honestly, he shouldn't have placed them in my way. They weren't all that difficult, I mean, they didn't call them God-eating birds, just man-eating birds. We tried very hard to find a way to cook those beasts, so that their deaths wouldn't be in vain, but this seemed to enrage Ares further. You'd have thought they were his children for all the tears that flowed down his cheeks.

Catching Cerberus was probably the most difficult task, and yet we released the poor mutt unharmed. Mostly. It certainly wasn't worth Pluto getting all stuffy over, and being offended.

Oh. I see, your interest lies in more recent times. The reality TV show, and my modern 12 Labors. Well. You have to realize that I had fallen, hard, at that point. Alcohol, lechery, one was a means to another which was a means to the first. Vicious circle really.

Thor had vanished, along with all the other Asgardians. I was shocked, and dismayed. Thor was a brother, and more than that, a God. If one such as he could be made to simply cease existing… then no God was safe. And so, at my lowest of low points, along comes King Eurystheus, alive and well despite having his eyes put out, and having been slain previously.

King Eurystheus had put me to the task of the original 12 Labors, as punishment for my crime. This time he intended to remake me as a Hero, or so he said.

The new 12 Labors were to mirror the ancient ones. And my first task? To find a sabretooth tiger. I warmed up with a T-rex, but the cameraman and the crowd did not see the worth of it, sadly. But the first labor was easily done, and we quickly moved on to the second.

The second labor was easier than the first, I was to defeat HYDRA, a multi-headed organization. Honestly, I feel that was a bit of a stretch. As it turns out, they had an actual hydra sequestered away in their base, sadly it exploded before I could even lay a finger on it. Yes, it is not looking well at all.

Labor three was to capture Lockjaw, the watchdog of the Inhumans, who live on the Moon. Four was to capture the Dragon Man, which was easy since he takes long naps after eating. Tch, Jacques Clouseau could have completed these labors, and yes, it was bothering me. I then drove Atuma's barbarian hordes from Atlantis for labor number five. The sixth labor, as you might remember the ancient labors, had to do with smell. Red Skull's Dust of Death was most foul, but once more I was equal to the task. The bathroom, however, was never the same afterwards.

It was the seventh labor that made things interesting again. The Abomination and I were to have an old fashioned fight, may the best many win and all that. The Abominations main claim to fame was defeating the Hulk. Whom I have beaten, in battles past. The Abomination learned that one should do one's bragging either before, or after, the battle. Not while one's opponent is standing nearby. The lamp post was an excellent 9-iron, and I was able to get a hole in four. Ah, collateral damage, what can I say?

The Mole Man was the modern replacement for King Diomedes and his four man-eating horses. However, a thousand yards of chain was all that I required to put down the monsters of the Mole Man, and defeat his molemen army. I was on a roll.

The borrowing of Captain America's shield was probably the most difficult labor, as I found myself apologizing for my terrible behavior after the disappearance of Thor, and being apologized to by Captain America for not cutting me enough slack. It is during this apology that I promptly knocked him out, and took his shield, bowling over Wolverine and Iron Man in the process. I did return the shield afterwards, once I had proven the labor was complete.

Labors ten and eleven required the capture of a Doom-bot, and the theft of a SHIELD helicarrier. Both were accomplished with relative speed.

The last labor was the most pivotal. It .. required my being forgiven by someone I had murdered while in a drunken stupor. Yes, I know, that episode of the TV show was mostly voice recording, I wrecked the cameras to preserve the sanctity of the dead. I would say more, but it is extremely personal to me, and thus, I change the topic.

Ah, I have mentioned Thor a number of times. He is a worthy opponent, but I have come to trust the Asgardian as a friend, and he thinks of me as a mentor, someone to look up to as a paragon of strength and daring-do. I first encountered Thor during one of Ares' plots to cause a war between we Olympians and the Asgardians. I let Ares think he'd beaten me, and the proud fool told me the details of his silly plot. I, with Thor's help, led the Avengers in foiling Ares plot, and together we sealed off Ares' access to both worlds.

After that, I decided to found my own super-group called the Champions of Los Angeles. Now there's a city that can appreciate a body like this. I could not even take a leisurely stroll on the beach without being crowded by ladies looking for my autograph, and perhaps to look longingly upon me. I am embarrassed to admit that I had to leave, one cannot save the world every week when one is being crowded by worthy ladies. New York ladies are by no means less beautiful, but they do seem to be less clingy, so it's win-win for all involved.

In my time on Earth, I have come to lead, or be in an advisory role, just about every real hero team that's come to be. Sadly, most cannot stand to be compared to this heavenly body day in and day out, and I find myself sparing their jealousy and moving on.

I do admire Captain America, I have to say. Were I merely mortal, I would find his skills and athletic capability more than adequate. His leadership capability is better than Stark's, even if Stark has more brains than any three mortals on the planet. Though Stark's a canny one, with the balls to get squeamish things that need doing, done. Operation Galactic Storm is a perfect example. Captain America got the mission done, and in fine form.

On the other hand, Iron Man led the final assault, and eliminated the Supreme Intelligence. I mean, who would go all that way, right to the very doors of the enemy, and then not finish the job? The Supreme Intelligence wanted Earth dead, and I am better for having help lead the way there to defeat it. No matter what the Avengers have to say about it.

The past decade has been a bit quieter than the one before it, though that Invasion in 2007 was of interest, plenty of good fighting there. I was gracious enough to accept the invitation to be an instructor at Barne's Academy as an instructor recently, and it would have been a fine thing to have led these children into battle back then. I was lucky enough to not be sucked into… well, whatever dimension the unlucky ones were drawn into. And once they returned, with the invaders crucial weakness, they fell like a house of cards.

And the first time Mister Sinister attacked, I was mere moments away from attacking his redoubt when the X-men attacked. I was on Mount Olympus when the call went out, you see, and I don't have access to the Quinjet any more. At least the students and instructors were freed.

Did you know that for a short time, I was a major hit on Broadway? Hah, just about everyone else was too, if you can remember? I do not believe that having me sing the score of Cats was particularly tasteful, the HMS Pinafore is more my style. Sadly I did not get to punch some sense into the Conductor, but I hear he received the whupping he deserved.

You know, getting back to this Mr Sinister character, he's quite the pest. And I keep missing him, by moments. He's like a super villain version of Polkaroo, except the Polkaroo had a better costume. I will teach him some manners when I get a chance to get my hands on him.

Powers

Hercules' principal power is his vast physical strength and is physically the strongest of all existing Olympians. As the Olympian God of Strength, Hercules is capable of lifting far in excess of 100 tons easily. Hercules' great strength also extends to his powerful leg muscles, allowing him to jump great distances and heights; while the exact limit is unknown, he is capable of leaping a height of at least 100 feet. He has been observed lifting and hurling a giant Sequoia tree, carrying a starship across his back and shoulders, and lifting and tossing Godzilla, dragging the island of Manhattan, knocking out a Titan, he even was capable of holding and supporting the heavens themselves]. His strength is at least that of his rivals such as Thor, that of the Hulk, and the Sentry.

Skills/Abilities of Note

Hercules is an excellent hand to hand combatant particularly skilled in Greek wrestling, Greek boxing, and even invented the art of pankration which is the combination of both. He displays enough experience in combat to roughly match the likes of Elektra.

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