2009-05-01: A Little Too Much Honesty


Leo_icon.jpg Nathaniel_icon.jpg

Summary: Leo and Nathaniel finally get some time together. Nathaniel admits something about his trip. Leo's… not happy with what he's told.

Date: May 1, 2009

A Little Too Much Honesty

Rating: R

Xavier Mansion - Japanese Gardens

A large area of the grounds is landscaped with a Japanese Garden. A river filled with coi fish runs through the middle with a wooden bridge. There is even a small waterfall splashing on the rocks. Bamboo can be heard clacking on the rocks. A small statue of a Buddha can be found in various places. The trees hang over the area and when the flowers are in bloom, it brings a variety of color to the peaceful landscape.

Lately, Leo has had a lot on his plate. There's been things going on with his family. Nothing bad, it's just needed his attention. He hasn't really had any time at all to spend with his boyfriend, but he knows Nate will understand, so he hasn't pushed the matter to anyone at all. As darkness winds around the place, he sits out in the Japanese Gardens, just relaxing in a bit of yoga.

It's not as if Nathan would bring that issue up; he knows Leo wouldn't avoid him on purpose or anything like that. He is in the Gardens today largely because he's decided to sneak out and find him, of course, but that doesn't mean he runs out to tackle him or anything. Instead, the gothic teen slips around a tree, leaning against it with his arms folded and smiling faintly as he watches his boyfriend do yoga.

Leo can see what's going on around. He's not trying to hide everything out. A smile does cross his face as he notes Nate over to the side. "Hey." He says with a grin, moving into a finishing position, in order to stop in a moment. "How've you been?"

Nathaniel pushes smoothly away from the tree and makes his way towards Leo, dropping down next to him on the ground and folding his legs beneath him, "Hey. I've been all right. How about you, 'brite?" He holds a hand out to Leo invitingly, obviously waiting for him to take hold so he can pull him down into his lap and give him a good snug.

Leo moves along with Nathaniel with a grin. "Good. I've missed you." He whispers, falling easily into the lap. His head lays down on the other boy's shoulder. "Cy's gone. Now they've given me a new kid for a roommate. I haven't had time to go talk to him yet. Been so busy I've been staying away."

Nathaniel wraps his arms neatly around the other young man, holding him against his chest and lightly running his fingers through Leo's hair in an absentmindedly affectionate fashion, "I missed you, too… where'd Cy go? Did he decide to leave the school?" He kisses Leo's cheek and the curve of his jaw gently, eventually nuzzling his face into his neck, "And what's the new kid's name?"

"I dunno." Leo says with a shrug. "He was always so dark and moody anyway." He wrinkles his nose. "Ya know? I haven't asked him yet. I haven't even MET him yet." He gives soft little squeaks at the kisses and grins. "Hey, I love you." He whispers.

Nathaniel laughs at that, tossing his hair away from his face as he lifts his head to look at Leo, smiling at him warmly and poking his nose playfully against his ear to huff air into it, "I love you, too." He tilts his head back to look at Leo again, all so he can kiss him lightly and then continue, "I hope he's a little more cheerful, at least…"

"I dunno. They haven't told me much." Leo shrugs. "I'll meet him eventually, I'm sure." He giggles at the nose touch, leaning forward to nibble at his boyfriend's ear. He snaps his fingers. "How was your trip?" He asks, forgetting about that.

Nathaniel frees a hand so that he can push his hair back contemplatively, nodding his head in assurance only to cock his head for that nibbling, blushing faintly for it, "It was all right. I stubbed my toe on a rock and nearly froze my cajones off in this river near the campsite." He shifts his legs underneath Leo so that he can bend his knees, tucking the other youth more firmly against him, "Though… that guy? I think it might be best if you never met him. We fooled around, but I don't know. I can't trust him around you. I can't really say why, though." He rubs his forehead with his thumb in a concerned fashion, shaking his head after a few seconds.

Listening to Nate's words, Leo just nods until he hears the 'fooling around' bit. There's a bit of freezing and… well, Nate would recognize it as fear. Plain and simple. "Fooled around?" It's whispered as he holds himself there. "Howso?" He's been doing so good. He's been holding himself from things because he thought it was what Nate wanted. Was he wrong? He's confused. Poor Leo.

Nathaniel tilts his head slightly as he picks up that fear, then confusion, nodding his head a few times before he says, "Are you okay, Leo…? I… I know I said it was okay for you to fool around… I thought… I thought it'd be okay if I did, too." He looks up at Leo through his bangs, biting on his lip now as he begins to get seriously unsettled. Had he acted out of turn? Nathan had only known really one way to interact with other people for a long time and now he was worried that had knocked him out of bounds.

It's mainly fear of how he's going to stack. Is he good enough? Is he that bad that Nate had to seek elsewhere? "I… I don't know." He says, softly, still unable to do too much. He's not moving away, but his grip has loosened. "I… I haven't though. Because I was scared it would hurt you. I didn… I thought you… I don't know." His voice is thin and small.

Nathaniel's brow furrows and he immediately sits up straight, lifting his hand to curve around Leo's jaw, "Oh, God, Leo, I'm sorry. I… I didn't think it would bother you. I'll never do it again." He curls his arms around Leo's middle as if to make up for that loosening grip, hugging him tightly while his expression becomes one of distinct, apologetic fear.

"N… no. Don't hold back. You gave me permission, it's only fair. I just… I've been trying so hard to not upset you." Leo says, suddenly filled with something he's never really felt. Self-doubt and even a tiny bit of self-hatred. "I just… I…" He's so confused. More than anything, he doesn't know what to do.

Nathaniel shakes his head and considers Leo quietly for a few seconds before he runs his hand through Leo's hair again, "No. No, Leo, it's… you tried so hard to avoid upsetting me and I didn't do the same for you. It's not fair for me to run off and shag some guy just because I think I can. I'm sorry. Please… Don't be mad at me, okay? I love you more than anybody. I don't need anybody else."

"I love you too, but I don't know how I feel right now." Leo admits honestly. He'll… he'll probably talk to Dai. Or Owen. After all, they're the two who know him a little better than the others. Maybe not. They'd hold it against Nate, and he doesn't want that. "I just… I need to find somewhere to vent." Maybe that's it.

Nathaniel sighs slightly, leaning back slightly and running his fingers through his hair all over again, tilting his head before he just flops onto his back, neither dislodging Leo nor clinging to him any longer, "…okay." He rests the back of his forearm over his forehead, fingers ruffling through his bangs until they're messy.

"I'm sorry. I just… I'm confused." Leo admits, a chill running down his spine, with another spike of self-doubt. "I'm… I'm not ending it. I just need some time to think. I'll get over it. I promise." He says, nodding.

"It's okay. I know," Nathan says, pushing himself up on his hand so that he can smile slightly at Leo, "Just… I mean. Think about what you want, Leo, and I'll do it." He shrugs helplessly after that, shifting so that he can push himself up on his other hand as well, legs straightening out slowly so as not to dump Leo to the ground.

"I know I want you. But… I don't know… much more than that." Leo admits. He moves to slide off of Nate's lap, biting his lip as he does so. "I just… don't know what's going in my head. I wish I could put it into words."

Nathaniel curls his legs towards and under him, folding his arms on top of his knees and smiling in a way that isn't particularly happy, "I want you too, Leo… but… as bad as I feel about it now, I thought this was part of our relationship. You need to give me guidelines to live by or I can't help it if I break them. I will - whichever ones you come up with, I will. Just… let me know whenever you work something out." He uncoils, doing precisely what Nathan was all but trained do by his parents in tense emotional situations: withdraw internally. His parents would usually lash out, of course, but that wasn't his place. This was. He stands and runs his fingers through his hair one more time before he nods and says, "Well… you know where I am…" The boy turns to walk back towards the school, the chains on his pants jangling softly.

There's a nod from Leo, as he doesn't trust himself to speak just yet. However, the love is still there. As Nathaniel begins to walk away, he does dash over to offer a quick hug from behind. He won't let his face be seen, though, if he can avoid it. The new mark on his cheek is glowing too brightly.

Nathaniel is startled by that sudden embrace, biting down hard enough on his lower lip that he can taste a faint tang of blood where his teeth scrape the skin. He rests his hand over Leo's arm, swallowing thickly, and squeezes the other boy's hand with his own free one. He'll stand there until Leo chooses to let go, wherein he'll continue back to the school.

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