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Summary: Robyn goes to talk to Mikhail for a bit.
Date: January 19, 2010
Log Title Being Human
Rating: PG-13
Xavier Mansion - Aleksey and Mikhail's Room
It's quick to tell what Aleksey's interests are by the way the room is decorated. All over the walls on his side of the room are posters of Russian Olympic Male Figure Skaters and Superheroes. There's a large poser of Colossus above his desk. All the posters have writing in Russian on them. Aleksey's side of the room is pretty clean and even though he doesn't have a roommate at the moment he keeps his stuff to one side. A pair of figure skates hang on the wall next to his desk in pristine condition. There are a few photographs of his family on his desk.
It's early afternoon and Robyn's been avoided most people and his classes like the plauge. Right now it's an hour by hour thing with him, sometimes he wants company and sometimes he just wants to be alone, at this moment, he wants company. Wearing just a pair of Xaver's pants and one his black t-shirts with Ziggy Stardust on it. There's a light knock on Mikhail's door followed by a quiet voice "Mikhail, are you in?"
Mikhail is sitting in his room trying to make sence of things, hes dressed in a pair of grey Xavier gym shorts and his chest and arms are covered in healing claw marks, he catches Robyn's scent before he knocks on the door but doesn't move, when he knocks he says, "Yes Mikhail here".
Robyn chances opening the door and steps in. "Hope you don't mind me coming by, I just…kinda needed to be with a friend right now." He says closing the door behind him. He's still got several bandages on him but the claw marks on Mikhail get a curious look. "So how you holding up Mik?"
Mikhail nods as Robyn asks if he minds him coming by, he still has the same distant look in his eyes that hes had for since getting back to the Institute, he shrugs at Robyn's question, "Mikhail not holding anything", he still doesn't understand cirtain phrases.
Robyn smiles and shakes his head. "I meant, how are you doing. How are you holding up is asking the same question." He doesn't sit down anywhere and it's kind of obvious Robyn hasn't slept much at all as he looks exhausted. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Mikhail points to his bed, "Sit down", he then answers Robyn's question, "Mikhail is managing", he cant really say hes feeling fine because hes not really feeling anything, while he's talking the claw makes are still healing but they are healing more slowly than they usually would.
Robyn walks over and sits down nodding. "I hear you there." He's feeling about the same way 'managing'. He looks at the claw marks on Mikhail's chest and looks up at his face. "Did one of the demons did that to you? Nathaniel didn't do anything to you too, did he?"
Mikhail shakes his head, "No, Nathiel didn't do it", if Robyn looks at his hands he will see that his nails and fingers are blood stained, and when he looks at his face there is very little humanity behind them.
Robyn bites his lip as he notices Mikhail's hands and then the look in his eyes and he gets really worried. "Mikhail…if you think clawing yourself is managing, it isn't. What's wrong Mik?" Robyn doesn't care about his problems as much at the moment, more Mikhail's. He's like that, he worries about those close to him.
Mikhail looks down at his bloodstained hands, "Mikhail dont feel anything", hes speaking about his current lack of human emotion, its messing with his head big time, the reason he began clawing at himself is a despirate need to feel something, anything even if its pain.
"What do you mean, you don't feel anything?" Robyn is slightly jealous at that cause to him, he's been feeling too much. "You shouldn't be scratching yourself, it's not good for you. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Mikhail shrugs again, "Cant feel, happy, sad, angry, nothing, all gone", his expression hasn't changed since the conforsation began, he shugs, "dont care", when Robyn asks that he can do to help, "Mikhail dont know".
Robyn looks down and nods. "I'm sorry Mikhail, I'm really sorry. When you first got here I said I promise I would look out for you, I couldn't. I wanted to Mik, I did and I'm sorry." He remembers the first night after the pool with Lucas and he wishes he could do more for his friends.
Mikhail shakes his head, "No need be sorry, Mikhail not you responsible, Mikhail look after himself", his hands ball up, "Look out for other people dangerous, get both of you hurt".
"You're right about that. I just..shouldn't have asked you to come with us, and I shouldn't have gone with Rashmi." But Robyn then feels guilty for thinking he should have left her to go alone. "And just let me feel sorry okay Mikhail, I know..maybe it isn't my fault but I still feel bad that I couldn't do anything but attack you. I'm sorry Mikhail you have your own problems to worry about and if you need help, let me know, okay?"
Mikhail stands up suddenly, "Stop be sorry, no you should not gone with Rashmi, you should stayed and try stop her, but you want find Jordan too, so you go, and yes attack Mikhail, because Nathaniel make you do it, you not the only one, Mikhail went to find Nathaniel after he heal, he control whole of park, make them attack Mikhail, no one can fight it, not your fault", his voice takes on an animal-like sound, "Mikhail will end him", there is one thing hes been able to feel over the last few days, the need to kill everything that inhabits that castle.
It might not have been Mikhail's intention, but he just feels like a worse friend since Mik is right, he should have stopped her. He feels like an idiot. He looks up surprised. "You went to find Nathaneil, he's dangerous." Was dangerous, he's not sure. "He didn't…do anything to you did he?"
Mikhail shakes his head, "No, he not fight Mikhail.
Robyn nods and he hopes that Nathaniel didn't do anything else. "He's here, at the school. Leo brought him back, he doesn't look like a demon anymore." Robyn's voice sounds fairly flat when he says that, he's still not sure how to handle it. "I don't know if I should confront him or not."
Mikhail closes his eyes when he gets the information that Nathaniel is at the school, he begins searching for his scent, finding it he opens his eyes, "You dont have to, Mikhail is", he turns to leave the room.
Robyn gets up and steps infront of Mikhail. "You can go, do what you want, but Mikhail, think if this will help you 'feel' again. Please, and just remember, he wasn't himself when he did that to you, did that to me." He says as he moves in to give Mikhail a quick, on armed hug. "Plesae, just..be safe and smart." He says not sure what he should do.
Mikhail shakes his head as Robyn hugs him, "Mikhail know it not make feel again, Mikhail just going kill him".
Robyn doesn't move from in front of Mikhail and shakes his head. "No, killing him won't do anything Mikhail, I don't know Mikhail, I don't, but please, don't kill anyone. Killing other people will make you as bad and evil as Lucas." There's a certain panic in Robyn's voice as he says it. "He's not a demon anymore Mikhail, I don't know what he is, I don't know if I want to hurt him back or not, but killing..it's not the way."
Mikhail steps backwards and looks Robyn in the eye, "When he was demon, if come to fight, would it be bad if i kill him, when he kill innocent people?".
Robyn looks at Mikhail and just shrugs. "I really don't know Mikhail, I don't. He hurt me bad, he hurt me more than anyone ever has Mik. I can't tell you what's right but I do know that killing people is wrong. I hate Nathaniel right, for what he did to me, for what he made me do to you and for what he did to you but honestly, I don't think killing him will make anything better. Just worse. Cause then you'll be just like him and Lucas and…" He can't bring himself to say 'Jordan'.
Mikhail has one more point of reason for why he going to do this, "What if he kill more people, if he live?", his mind is very cold right now.
Robyn looks desperate right now. "Mikhail, I don't know. What if he doesn't? It's just a lot of what if's." Maybe it's also cause Robyn feels he has to talk to Nathaniel for closure and doesn't want him dead yet. "You can go find him, talk to him. He might be back to who he was before, I don't know Mikhail and it's another what if. Killing won't help anything, it will just be a dark mark on your conscious that you are the cause of someones death."
Mikhail goes and sits back down, "Ok, Mikhail wont kill him, but if he hurt someone else, or come near Mikhail, he dies", hes still half-considering going after Nathaniel when Robyn leaves, the only reason he hasn't gone to get him now is he doesn't want to feel guily if he ever gets his emotions back.
Robyn just stands there and nods, a small smile coming on his face. He looks scared and worried. "Okay, if he hurts someone else or comes near you, I'll try not to stop you. Just, I don't want you to live with that Mik. I'm worried about you, I want you to be you again."
Mikhail sighs, "I want be Mikhail again too, but what want doesn't happen, world doesn't work like that", hes figured that he may have been taken out of the cage, but the punishments are going to continue.
Robyn walks over to Mikhail and puts his hand on his shoulder. "You have to work at it Mikhail and give it time and let us help you, if you want. I care about you Mik, I do, and I'm going to be here for you. Just, don't give up on us too. Just try to work on being you again, maybe go out and hunt, let your mind focus on that."
Mikhail puts his hand on Robyn's, "All Mikhail can think of is hunt, like human part missing, that the problem", he gets up and with a frustrated growl puts his fist through the wall, its not anger its just basic frustration, he then leans on he wall and puts his head in his hands.
Robyn walks over to Mikhail and puts his good arm around him and speaks in a soft voice. "You'll always be human Mikhail, and there, you're feeling something, enough to punch a wall." At least Robyn thinks so but he's not an empath. "Hey, it's my birthday soon, how about you join Dallas and I in going out to celebrate? Unfortunately I gotta run, I gotta make sure Addison gets something to eat. Maybe you should talk to him, or Dr. Mayfair-Parker, or even Jono. They listen. Just…remember that you'll always be human Mik, no matter what." Robyn says brushing back his hair lightly before leaving slowly.
Mikhail nods at Robyn, "Be careful Robyn, you hurt and Mikhail not think this going to end anytimes soon", when Robyn leaves he wispers "Goodbye" before opening the window and jumping out.
