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Summary: Robyn tries to make amends with Jono, it doesn't end well.
Date: June 17, 2020
Bridges Burned
Rating: PG-13
The Future - The Underground - Mutant Base
Hidden in the maze of tunnels is the open area that the mutants have turned into their have, their home. Not wanting to risk electricity being detected down here, there are battery powered and gas powered lights leaving the place dark and damp. At least three mutants are always on guard down here at the entrance to the mutant camp and secret passwords and codes are needed to get into this room. Theres a large door with a large piece of wood barricading it as those down here dont take any chances.
Today Jonothon isn't all that hard to find, as he's in one of the original garden caves. It's nearly empty now. Clean up time! The main group of people have no idea where everything was moved to, and that's on purpose. Wrapped in fire, the Brit pulling down some track from the ceiling in one of the lower spots. Not all that difficult when you are telekinetic, can fly, and work bolts without needing tools. Tendrils of psy-fire work at multiple spots, or just spiral around him, unused. There's no one else here at the moment. The biologist who tends to the plants is down in the depths trying to ensure that things live with the move.
Tired, exhausted, worn out and escaping, that's pretty much Robyn's MO today as he wheels himself to one of Jono's gardens. It's another person he needs to talk to, to apologize to. "Hey Jono….thanks for all your work on the gardens over the years. It's been really appricated." He says as he wheels himself in the area. He seems different then he's been a lot of that cold demenor seems to have gone and what's left is someone whose tired and seems worn beyond his twenty seven years.
The voice has the man pausing, and after a moment there's only a sarcastic snort. Jonothon remembers the last time you two spoke, and he asked you not to see him again. "If one thing remains consistent over the years, it's that you never listen. What do you want, Robyn? I'm busy. Don't you have someone to kill?" Yes, he's purposely being insulting. To him that's a bad thing. Killing people. Even if he knows it's necessary, that doesn't mean he has to like it. "Honestly, you never think about me, or the gardens, until there's a need. So again, what do you want?"
Shame flickers over his face and there's just a shake of his head. "What I want is to apologize, for what I became. I'm…I'm trying to get past that. Everything hurt so much I locked myself away and cost myself everything that was dear to me. Right now…I don't have any plans to kill anyone." He knows he deserves every rude comment sent his way, maybe more. He's not looking for pity just a chance to apologize and explain. "You know…" He says wheeling himself over and just starts to help with what he can if Jono asks him or not. "When you told me you didn't like me, I acted like I didn't care. I didn't want myself to care but inside, I felt it. It hurt."
Now that's a surprise. Jonothon looks down at Robyn for the first time. There's not a lot to help with truth be told, but some things can be put in boxes. There's always some odds and ends from huge moves such as this. "Trying to get past that?" No, doesn't quite believe Robyn. Afrer that though the man is quiet and allows the other to speak. Does gently sink down to land on the stone floor and make this easier though. A good sign if anything. "It was the only thing I could say that would have gotten to you." About his not liking Robyn. "You just had to learn the hard way, didn't you?"
"Sorry not trying…succeeding in getting past that. Working on it. Do or do not, there is no try. I'm choosing Do." Robyn says as he quotes Star Wars, some quotes just live on. "It was too much for me to handle Jono, too much, and I just shut down. Became obsessed. Focused on one thing that wouldn't let me feel. I lost Jordan then I lost my parents and it…it's not an excuse but I didn't know how to handle it. Then with this war, to keep up with it all I shut myself off." He puts a few things in one of the boxes, slowly and gently. "I'm pretty sure I lost Jordan."
"There's only one thing I can say to that.. 'Boo hoo'." Hands on hips and Jonothon simply frowns at Robyn. "You and everyone else here. We have all lost everything, some more so than others. Rashmi lost her daughter, and you don't see her being a complete arse. You chose to be the way you are. No pity from me about that." Considering he did warn you so many years ago, having done exactly the same thing himself. "So you're claiming to change. Good. You'll get no pity here though."
"I know she lost Jessica…believe me. Lucas is a walking deadman from that. Rashmi is one of the two people that I can trust anymore." Robyn pushes his hair back with both hands and lets out a sigh. "Damnit Jono, I'm not looking for pity, I don't deserve pity but I'm trying to apologize to you for me being such an asshole. I'm sorry Jono. Really, I'm sorry."
Jonothon's expression is of distaste as he regards Robyn. Nothing said immediately, for he's trying to judge whether or not this is honest. Really, he's not hard hearted at all, and has been given too many chances in life to deny Robyn now. "Fine, alright, apology accepted. You get your chance to prove you've changed. And who's the other one?" Asked of the two people the man trusts.
"Connor." Volk, the one whose also shut himself up to the point where he barely speaks, Robyn admits as it's not that he doesn't trust Jono persay, but he doesn't trust Jono to be willing to do what's needed to get him out of hole he's dug himself. He knows he can't get out of it himself. "Connor and Rashmi have been helping me to overcome this. They're not nice about it but it's needed."
"Ah." Said somewhat coldly. No, he isn't at all surprised. "You can go now, Robyn." Jonothon shakes his head about all this and turns his back. "You've said you were sorry." The psy-fire shows clearly that he's been hurt all over again, and like always he retreats when he's hurt. "I've got work to do." Considering work is all he has now, he might as well focus on it.
"Jono…you know you're doing the same thing that I was doing? The thing that you're mad at me for, and hurt because of? You're closing yourself off." Robyn wheels himself over to Jono and reaches over to put a hand on his upper arm if the psy-fire will let him. "I destroyed myself Jono and everything I loved doing what you're doing now. You're supposed to be older and wiser than me, so look me in the face and tell me what you feel."
The psy-fire doesn't prevent anything, but it will coil around Robyn for the effort. "And just what do I have to open up for?" Jonothon asks, looking down. There's not even any anger in him. Been too long for that. "The only thing of worth I had were the kids at Xaviers, and none of you trust me.. the few that even liked me. What's the point, Robyn? There's nothing to destroy. I've literally nothing to lose. Besides, you already know exactly how I'm feeling. I can't even bloody hide it." The man knows how the psy-fire is, and he is indeed hurting.
"You know why Jono? Because you've done this ever since I was a kid. When you were hurt and needed help, you just shut yourself off." Robyn says giving Jono a warm kind of smile. "I guess I learned from the best…huh?" It's not an insult just more saying that he understands, he did the same thing. "You push people away Jono, Rashmi doesn't. She has that super power to always have 'hope' and Connor…he did something for me noone else could. And you do have things to lose. I thought I didn't have anything to lose and I found out I did and to get back to something worth while I had to lose more. The person I love most. But I know it's -my- fault and I deserve this pain. You…look around you Jono. You have so much more than you realize. What about Kenta's son. What about the people that -depend- on your gardens. Yes it's for the food, but it's because -You- do it and there are so many people who are grateful to you for that."
"I know why." Is all he says, not interrupting, even if he isn't looking at Robyn. Jonothon knows he pushes people away. "That's how I am, Robyn. It's a fact I'll have to live with for a very, very long time." Someone is very close to losing all hope. Maybe Rashmi has it all now. "People become afraid of me too, you realize. The last one I allowed in my head had his memory wiped, and he saw only a fraction of what I've endured during the years. No, your words mean nothing, because nothing ever changes. I'm not sure I can change."
"Just like always, you'll tell me to have hope, to open up, and then leave me to go back to those you trust. Your words are empty, Robyn, because you won't back them up."
"Maybe I was wrong, maybe I can trust you to be one thing…pessimistic." Robyn says and again, he's not saying these things to be mean or hurtful, there isn't even bitterness in his voice. "No, my words are empty cause you want them to be." He brings himself as close as he can to Jono so he can look in the mans face. "You need help Jono, but I can't help you and I can't trust you unless you give me a reason to. I've always liked you Jono, I've always found you as someone I could talk to but I can't trust you to do what Connor and Rashmi do for me. You're in a smiliar hole next to mine Jono you can't pull me out when you're just as deep."
There's another of those snorts, but no denials. "No, that just means I push you up and out." A smirk and he pulls away, not wanting to be close anymore. Jonothon doesn't go far, but he isn't looking at Robyn either. "There's no one here who can help me, Robyn. Or I'd have gotten it long ago." He honestly doesn't enjoy living like this. "You have your friends. All mine died a long time ago. You kids were always too busy to pay me much mind."
There's an obvious roll of eyes and shakes of his head. "There's no one here to help you because you don't let them Jono. You don't want anyone to help you." He reaches out and tries to grab a hold of Jono with both hands, not roughly, but to pull himself up. "Let me ask you something Jono…do you -want- someone? Do you want someone who can help you?"
That smirk curls lips again and Jonothon pushes Robyn away. This time with telekinesis. To wrap around and pick up the other, holding him at a comfortable distance. Only then, as he looks up somewhat, does he say, "Yes. I want someone who's stubborn and won't run away. Someone who isn't afraid of the fact I'll watch them die of old age, that I've done horrible things, and will have to do them again. Someone I can link minds with and not have them cringe because I carry too much darkness inside. Someone who'll let me keep that darkness where it belongs.. Yes, Robyn, I do, but there isn't anyone here." Sex he can get. That's easy. No, he wants something else entirely.
"By this point in time Jono, we've all done horrible things. I used the man I love as an expendible solider. Do you think that is even forgivable?" Robyn doesn't and he has so much guilt over that fact. "I've sent Volk to kill for me because I couldn't. This war has mad us monsters Jono. And is it that you think someone will be afraid that you can't age when they can or is it you whose too afraid to watch someone get old and die?" He looks at Jono and stares right in his eyes. "There isn't noone here Jono. You just convinced yourself of that. You just proved why I can't trust you, because you won't let anyone help you. I can't trust someone to help me when they can't ask for help themselves."
"And that's all you want me around for, Robyn. To help /you/." Jonothon drops Robyn in his chair. Not a long drop, but enough to jostle. Keeps a fix on the wheels too, so that distance remains. "I told you, Robyn, I didn't like the man you'd become, and I still don't. You only want someone to help you. You've never truly wanted to help anyone else. I give people their chance, but no one wants to invest the time." Or so he tells himself anyway.
Robyn starts to wheel out of the room and shakes his head. "You're blind Jono. You're seeing what you want to see and accusing me of that. I wish you were strong enough to ask for help, I'm sorry that you aren't." He doesn't look at Jono as his says that but his voice is sorrowful. "I've always wanted to help you out of that darkness Jono, since I was a kid, but you said I was too young. Now that I'm 27, and I understand why you do what you do and have been there myself, there are other excuses. It's not that noone here can help you, it's that you either push that hand away or ignore it completely."
"Funny, you just said you couldn't help me." Jonothon smirks, but lets those wheels go. If Robyn is leaving, he's not stopping the man. "And now you tell me that I'm not allowing you? Make up your mind, Robyn, but do it elsewhere. I've heard enough of this bollocks for today." No, he's not being all that good about this, sorry.
"There's a difference between trust and help Jono. Open your eyes." Robyn says and with that he does leave Jono to himself, he tried to recover those burned bridges but he can't be mad at or hate Jono. He just wishes he could have done more.
Jonothon doesn't reply. Hand to hip, wrapped in fire, he watches Robyn go. After a moment there's just a snort and he gets back to work.
