Players:
Summary: Shane and Nick both have trouble sleeping.
Date: January 28, 2011
Log Title: Being Broken
Rating: PG-13
Xavier Mansion - Atrium
The Atrium is large room with four corridors leading off in diagonal directions to the classrooms and dorms. A large window looks over the front courtyard. The Atrium has also been turned into a social area for students and teachers, with chairs, tables and a television set. Since its a main area of passing, it is encouraged that people keep things to a respectful volume.
It's past midnight and most of the mansion is quite. Nick has found his way to the atrium and is currently curled up against the corner of the couch and flipping through channels. The light form the television screen is the only light in most of the room. The volume is down low so it doesn't disturb anyone. Nicholas looks like he's about to fall asleep from the drowsy expression on his face.
The elevator dings quietly, the doors sliding open to reveal Shane, looking slightly disheveled. Her toxic green hair is mussed, black pajama bottoms rumpling over her ubiquitous boots, a wrinkled red pajama top at least a size too large, capped off with her laptop in one hand, a Sanrio doll under her other arm. Clomping a couple steps in, she freezes, peering through the gloom at the figure on the couch. "…'Lo?"
Looking up, Nicholas sees that he has company and returns the greeting with a small wave. "Hello." He says back stopping his channel surfing for a bit. He's still dressed in his normal clothes, jeans and a sweat shirt but his sneakers are on the ground. "Can't sleep either?"
Shane seems to relax some, once the voice identifies itself as Nicholas, and shrugs faintly. "Woke m'self up. Nightmare. Can't get back, dunno if I wanna yet." With that, she makes her way to the chair nearest the couch, dropping in like a sack of bricks. "…Sorry 'bout runnin' y'off th' other day. Get your movie back?"
"Yeah, same here. Also have no clue how to get back to the dorms." Nicholas confesses. "Yeah I got it back but you didn't really run me off." He says with a shrug as he goes back to try to find something worth watching. "So there's really nothing to be sorry over. Uh…you can join me in not sleeping if ya want."
Shane lifts an eyebrow. "Wasn't us talkin' made you take off? Mn. Musta been Q then." Opening her computer, she pokes at the touchpad for a bit. "…Still. Left a game on th'shelf. Gotta blue Post-it wrapped round th'spine. Dead Island. Probably you'll like it. Zombie killin' on th'beach. Good f'gettin' mad out."
Nicholas shrugs a shoulder. "I had no clue what you guys were talking about, and you're all friends and stuff so I thought I wouldn't be the grump in the room. Just a matter of time before Q would do something to piss me off." He says before pushing his hair back with a hand. "Yeah, I played it when it came out. It's pretty fun, had a ton of games back home."
Shane pauses for a moment, blinking. "…Me, Q, Taylor, 'n you worried 'bout *you* bein' th'grump?" Snorting, she shakes her head. "Seriously though. Q gets creative, 's 'is power talkin'. Startin' t'figure out what he means. Y'c'n tell. He scratches h'self up, means he's tryin' not t'lose it. Bein' an insultin' asshat helps, I guess. Iunno."
Nicholas shrugs a shoulder finally settling on watching some old reruns of Jackass on MTV. "Yeah well it helps if I'm not around to be the one he's being an insulting asshat to." He mutters putting the remote down next to him. "I don't want to speak ill about him though cause he's your boyfriend and all."
Shane lifts a shoulder. "Woulda said it anyway, 'f he wasn't. Just means y'talkin' behind two backs, 'steada one. No big. Anyway. Just sayin'. How come y'can't sleep?"
There's a bit of a pause before Nicholas speaks. "Well, nightmares, like you. I mean I should be used to them by now and well…it's cold, I dunno where a blanket is." He says as it's never fun to sleep when you're cold. "I guess part of the problem is I just don't get Quenton. It's like he's nice one day and then he'll act like it never happened.
"Point y'at th'closet when we go back," Shane grunts. "Q… 's like this. Y'know how y'don't wanna bitch at people, but y'can't help gettin' pissed off cos people just don't get it?"
"All to well." Nicholas says. "I've felt like that ever since I got here. And people here, for the most part, really don't get it."
Shane nods. "'Kay. Now think 'bout this; 'steada pickin' things up with y'brain, y'power is getting *really pissed off.* 'N you got no idea how t'keep it under wraps, so mostly y'can't."
"That sounds like it wouldn't be fun at all." Nicholas confesses. "I don't like being pissed off just…. He really confuses me. I'm just glad he decided to drop trying to head to Martin." He shrugs glancing at the television.
Shane's eyebrow rises. "…Martin?"
"Oh." Nicholas says as it dawns on him she's not sure what Martin is. "It's the town where I'm from in North Dakota. Really tiny, but after I told him about….what happened and and all he wanted to fly out there. Which doesn't make any sense to me."
Shane snorts. "Sounds like'm. Useta play superhero, first got 'is powers. Him and a buddy, takin' on little shit in th'Bronx. Buddy got killed. Found out 'bout th'gettin' pissed part, then. Knew he sucked at bein' an asshole, didn't get how bad til I heard that. Makes lots more sense.
"
"Yeah he told me all about that. We were just talking and sharing stories." Nick says with a frown. "I don't envy what he's going through I mean, it really sucks to lose someone you care about. My best friends' still alive but he's….pretty much outta my life now."
Shane nods slowly. "….Don't got best friends. Just friends is kinda rare. Mason was th'last one, 'fore I came here. …Didn't last. Patched up, but ain't th'same. Taylor, Sage, you… kinda weird. Havin' friends again."
"I mean now I have you, Jill, Ahmed, that's about it here." Nicholas says. "It's just become obvious that things aren't every going to be the same. But David, we were friends since we were kids. Went to different schools cause he lived in the next county over but we met when his parents signed him up for riding lessons at the stable."
Shane nods slowly. "…Yeah. Dunno how that feels, but, can guess." She falls silent, staring at her laptop, then looks up. "…Mebbe when shit settles down. Go back 'n ask what the hell. Might not do any good. Better t'know though."
Nicholas shrugs a shoulder. "I dunno, I mean don't really know if I'd wanna go back there and find out it really is all true. Find oug my best friend and girl friend really think I am a mutant douchebag. I don' tknow if I could take it, ya know?"
Shane grunts her assent. "Yeah. Still. Maybe. Besides, have t'be later anyway. Maybe then, could take it. Never know." She falls silent for a moment, frowning down at her screen. "…Just know how I felt. Still hated Mason f'r awhile, after we caught up. Helped t'know he just pussed out, 'steada doin' it on purpose."
"Ya know, I wanna hate David and Kirsten but I can't, I miss them too much. It really hurts what they said but right now I want them to be here with me just because…." Nick says trailing his words off not really wanting to look at Shane. "I just want that someone familiar."
Shane draws in a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh through her nose. "…Wish I knew what t'say. Don't, though. Never had anyone like that. Hadda get by on maybes. After awhile, stopped wantin' maybe. Not so much anymore. Maybe's lookin' good. ….Sorry."
Nicholas shrugs a shoulder. "I don't even know what to say. And it's just weird making friends here cause….it's not even like it's me, ya know? I just don't feel like myself, I don't feel like I'm living myself it's all, so messed up."
"Mmn…" Poking at the laptop again, Shane doesn't seem to grasp the statement, until she looks up. "Maybe. Still. Figure it'll be a little better once y'stop feelin that way, n' notice y'got friends. Could be worse. Some shit you don't *never* wanna be alone for. Trust me."
Nicholas just looks at Shane for a bit and stares at her with a bit of a cold gaze before turning back to the television. "There's never anything good on this late at night, it's always crap." He complains with a sigh. "I guess." Is all he says in acknowledge ment to Shane's word and even that small phrase doesn't even sound all that believable, it's like he's saying it to say it.
Shane falls silent for awhile, whether stung or annoyed by his brief acknowledgment, it's hard to tell. Finally, the silence is broken. "…'Magine you woke up, 'n nobody was around. 'Magine ain't *nothin'* around. Jus' a world o' crystal, cold 'n dead 'n quiet. 'Magine th'only thing you ever saw was you, in th'crystals. 'Cept it ain't you. But could be. Somea them yous? Get crushed t'death. 'R tore apart. 'R cracked, 'n fall t'pieces. Cos th' crystals they was in, fell apart. Somea them, though… They see you. They wanna *be* you. They wanna get out. And they gonna kill you t'do it. So you gotta kill them first. You gotta kill *you.* Buncha times. Mebbe hundreds. Y'lose count." She falls silent for a moment, swallowing down a lump in her throat. When she speaks up, her voice is thick, but clear, as though it's important to get the message across. "Imagine just how much it'd matter, after days and days of this… just to have someone else *real* right there. And imagine what you'd do to
"And imagine what you'd do to get it."
Nicholas mutes the television once Shane speaks and listens though it doesn't fully make sense to him what she's saying. "Did something like that really happen?" He asks quietly before looking away from her.
"Summer," Shane says, clearing her throat. "Heather's parents. Supervillains. Thought havin' a little pet bomb'd help them out. Her dad fucks with your head. Makes you see things that ain't real. Feel things that ain't real. Could think you're walkin' home, right up until y'step off th'cliff. That's what he did t'me. Put me inna world o' crystal. Blew up th'big computer down bottom of th'school, thinkin' it was a way out. Coulda killed some kids. Probably killed a buncha people, out there. Dunno. Don't wanna know. Nightmares I got're enough."
Nicholas stays quiet for a while, not really sure what to say in response. "Sorry. You had to go through all that." Then in an odd voice, barely above a whisper he speaks. "I watched them die. I couldn't do anything but watch. The fire wasn't hurting me for some reason but they weren't so lucky. Most my nightmares are of that night, hearing them…." His voice trails off as he sounds like he's starting to get choked up.
"Yeah," Shane says, the word conveying a depth of understanding uncharacteristic for her. "S' why I say you don't wanna be alone. 'Fore that happened, 's all I wanted. Got it. Almost drove me seriously crazy. Mebbe you don't feel like you. S'fine. Got friends, though. Helps. Trust me."
"I…I don't want to be alone I just want something familiar." Nicholas tries to explain. "I have Orion but he's well….a horse. There's only so much comfort a horse can provide." He says with the faintest of smiles. "I gotta find a therapist or some crap."
Shane nods once. "Yeh. Therapist'd be a good idea. Not a psychiatrist though. They go pills first. Don't trust 'em. …Meh. Don't trust no one, so, y'know. What it's worth."
"I trust people well…I guess I more did? I don't know. Never really had anyone really do anything horrible to me until…well…those assholes came to Martin. God, I didn't hurt anyone." Nicholas says closing his eyes as it's obvious he's on the verge of crying. "I didn't do anything wrong with my powers, I don't know why they had to come…"
"Hey," Shane says softly. "Wasn't you. 'M a paranoid bitch, but ain't for a second ever gonna think that was your fault. Bullies pick on people ain't gonna fight back. These guys? Bullies with guns. Happened 'cos they could get away with it. Wasn't enough people f'r them t'fight back. 'F it was me, lived there? Probably woulda said whatever they wanted, just so's they wouldn't kill any more people. Dunno 'f that's what happened. Could be. Coulda been they had a gun in your girlfriend's mom's face, you couldn't see. Dunno. Just know it wasn't you."
Nicholas grabs a pillow to hug to him and rest his chin on the top off. "I didn't say it was my fault just….why did they have to come after me and my family? It was a small town of less than fifty people, sorry, I just can't get it out of my head. I don't mean to be such miserable conversation."
Shane snorts. "Stop 'pologizin', Nick. 'F I didn't wanna talk, wouldn't talk. Anyway. Dunno why. Told ya what I thought. Cos they wanted t'kill ya, 'n fifty people makes it easier t'git away with."
Nicholas can't help but shudder. "It's all surreal, maybe it won't see so much once I start dealing with it all just….." He sighs and looks at Shane. "You hungry at all?"
"Sorta," Shane replies.
"Wanna help me find the kitchen and see what we can make there? I'm not good at cooking but I can follow the directions on a box of frozen pizza. Or I can microwave some popcorn." Nicholas says standing up and yawning.
"Pizza," Shane says, uncurling from her chair, folding up her laptop and giving the doll a brief squeeze. "Bed after though. Hungrier'n I am sleepy. Close, though."
Nicholas offers Shane a hand and gives her a smile. "Thanks, and yeah, maybe I'll be able to get some sleep afterwards, if I can find the dorms." He says shrugging. "And I'll try not to burn it."
