2011-03-10: Dark Secrets


Jeremy_icon.jpg Robin_icon.jpg

Summary: Jeremy and Robin talk about their darker pasts and addictions.

Date: March 10, 2011

Log Title: Dark Secrets

Rating: R

NYC - Washington Square Park

Washington Square Park is easily identified by the white Washington Square Arch. This park in Greenwich Village has a relaxing fountain in the middle, and benches all around for people to sit and people watch, read, or draw. It is common to find the occasional political protest in this park, as Greenwich Village is one of the more Liberal Area's of New York City.

After having found the inhaler the other day, Robin has decided to take some time to herself on a long walk to sort out what's going on. It's after her classes have finished, later in the afternoon, as she walks through the park, her companion synched to her motion walking along with her. It draws a lot of attention, but nobody says anything terribly offensive (not loud enough to be heard) so Robin just continues being lost in thought.

The parks of New York City are something Jeremy knows wells and so being in Washington Square Park isn't new to him. He's sitting on a bench with a backpack next to him and his gloves resting on top. The only reason his hands are exposed are so that he can light his cigarette. Once lit he takes a deep drag and notices Robin and waves to her and Blank. "Hey Robin!"

While she's too lost in thought to notice Jeremy at first (and he's currently on the wrong side of her to see clearly anyways), she turns her head towards the boy upon hearing his voice. "Oh, hey Jeremy! What's happening?" She points up at the sky and notes, "It's getting warmer. I'm looking forward to it not being so cold all the time."

Jeremy stands up and pulls his gloves onto his hands before removing the cigarette from his mouth to speak again. "It is, I prefer it to be warmer and with no snow. Just happy that this year I had a place to stay. And not to much is happening. The usual, school, running, spending time in the parks. How about with you Robin? How have you been doing?"

"Oh, yeah, having a place to stay is great, I know what you mean, there…" says Robin, chuckling softly at that and scratching her neck lightly. "I've been doing okay. I went to Africa, it was awful, people got kidnapped and tortured. So that wasn't so great. But I mean, in the last little bit? I'd definitely say pretty okay!" She adjusts her bag lightly.

Jeremy winces. "Yeah I heard about that. Two people who went to Barnes, college kids, were involved in that. You know Rashmi." Especially since they're all in the dance committee together. "Oh it's weird we got a new teacher at school and he's a raccoon. I mean I thought I was halucinating or something at first but it's a raccoon. He's from space or something. It's just…I know this stuff exists but to see it.." He shakes his head.

"What? A raccoon? From space?" repeats Robin a bit incredulously. "That sounds pretty far out there! I mean, I guess your school is really weird the same way mine is… but apparently with more raccoons." She draws her hand through her medium lengthed hair and shakes her head, "But yeah, I know Rashmi. Rashmi and Travis are who you're talking about, right? Yeah. I was there with them. But not, um, in the same way."

Jeremy puts up both hands and mumbles a bit with the cigarette in his mouth. "I swear, a Raccoon from space. And yeah, those are the two I am taking about. I've only seen Travis in passing and I've talked to Rashmi a few times but..honestly, I'm not good around people." He admits taking a deep breath. "You're the first person I've really opened up to but with my powers and some of the things I've seen Robin…it's really hard to trust." He says looking down. "So anyway, what was it like for you there?"

"I dunno, I did what I always do. Hid and fought from a distance, to limit risk to myself, while all my companions risked themselves," says Robin, shrugging and gesturing towards Blank. She bites her lip for a moment between her canines thoughtfully and adds, "I guess I feel guilty about that kind of thing. But I feel guilty about a lot of stuff." She smiles weakly, though, and says, "Well, you know my dark secret, but I understand. Trusting can be really hard."

Jeremy looks at Robin and furrows his brow. "Why would you feel guilty about doing what you can? I mean I guess I'm fine with being a coward and running and not fighting. Fighting from a distance is sometimes more helpful, right?" He says not really knowing a whole lot about combat. "And sorry, I found out your dark secret unfairly. I'm glad you're not mad that I know."

"Well, I dunno, I'm not mad or anything. It's awkward to think about when I think about it…" She raises her eyebrow for a second and shakes her head, "But there's no reason to be mad about it. I told Hosea who, uh, I'm pretty sure was judging me the whole time. So I think I'd reveal it if it came up, anyways." Robin bites her lip again and says, "As for guilt, I dunno, I feel guilt when I'm better off than other people. It's stupid, but I remember being jealous of people all the time, and now I'm those people, rubbing it in anyone who is in my previous position's face!"

Jeremy shakes his head. "No, don't think of it like that." He says. "I'm..grateful that I managed to get off the street. That there was someone willing to help me. I jsut think that if I was able to get off the street, they can to. Maybe someone like you gives them hope instead of running it in their face." He says before taking a deep breath. "For me though, I just feel like I've betrayed the people who've helped me. They've given me a second change and I'm letting them down, even though they don't know it."

"Well, I hope that I'm more of a hope than a gloater to them, at least. I'll do my best to help homeless people, though…" says Robin, frowning for a moment as she listens to Jeremy. She rubs her own arm lightly as he says that he feels like he let them down. "What do you mean? I mean… I guess it's none of my business, but if you want to talk about something…" She trails off.

Jeremy looks off to the side and takes a deep breath. "It's only fair." He says before closings his eyes. "My power, I see things Robin. Anything I touch I see. And it stays in my head and it gets so confusing sometimes. I know people I've never met, I know things I don't want to know, I see who someone really is. And, it's overwhelming. I can't control it and sometimes I just want an escape." He says shaking a bit as he tells her nervously. "I was introduced to heroin and it…it helped. Things seemed to just calm down and when it wore off they came back. Pretty soon I was addicted. I managed to get off and was clean for almost a year but…" His voice trails off as he doesn't look at her.

As Jeremy trails off, eyes averted, Robin nods slowly in understanding. "Do you want to sit down on a bench or something? I mean, I guess I can kind of relate, but not exactly. I'm a cutter, and not to be a trendy emo kid or anything, I'm just addicted to it. To the point that I'm comforted by a razor blade going through my skin… Heroin is different, though, I mean, more addictive than…" She rubs her eyes lightly and notes, "I mean, the situations aren't possible to compare. But, what I mean is, if you want to talk about it… I'm right here."

Jeremy nods and goes over to sit down on the bench and rests his head in both hands. "I wasn't planning on telling you, or anyone." He says shaking a bit. "I hate it but it helps. I sneek off so I'm not doing it on school grounds but they took me in and now instead of learning how to control my powers I'm running from them. It's my problem Robin." He says as he's used to being on his own for so long. "Sorry to hear about you're cutting addition, I guess we're both kinda messed up." He says looking up at her with a bit of a smile. When he looks up though it's easy to see his eyes are a bit watery.

"I guess we are, yeah," says Robin, returning the small smile and putting her hand on Jeremy's shoulder. "I mean, it seems understandable, knowing so much about people would be painful, especially if the memories are so complete and vivid…" says Robin, clamping her lip between her teeth again for a few moments. "Have you thought about telling anyone before?"

"What if they kick me out of Barnes? I can't go back on the streets." Jeremy says sounding terrified at that thought. "And when you hear herion addict, people don't think someone that needs help but just another junkie." It's not hard to tell he's scared. "And now I can share what I've seen with people which is just as weird. They way I saw Hosea, he saw everything about me."

Robin nods and says, "Yeah, I can understand being frightened about that. I'm not sure if they'd send you back to the streets, though, to do that would be… pretty cruel. I imagine they'd get you to do rehab, though…" Robin rubs her arm lightly and glances aside, "I guess I think you've gotta do whatever seems best."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to dump this on you." Jeremy says taking a deep breath and fumbling to light another cigarette. "I was such a different person a few years ago." He says taking a long drag. "I don't know, I was off for almost a year. I thought I was done but at the same time there weren't many days that went by when I didn't think about it. I just don't know Robin." He says looking away again.

Robin shakes her head and says, "Better to talk to me than keep it all inside without being able to express it…" She fiddles with her wood earring for a moment and shrugs, "I guess I don't really know either. I mean, I know that with a lot of addictions, it's hard to stop thinking about it, especially with all the things that made you want it before still there. A year is pretty impressive…"

Jeremy nods and stays quiet as he continues to smoke, he doesn't speak until he's finished his cigarette. "I don't know what to do. It's like, you cut yourself right? You want to stop I'm guessing? But the relief is so good that you can't. I know I'm doing more harm then good but that hour when I'm high, it's the only time I don't feel conflicted."

"Uh, yeah, I want to stop. Of course. My arms are a mess. I have scars on lots of my skin. I don't think they fade, but not making more…" says Robin, considering that and nodding. "But when the blade is going through my skin, yeah, I'd say it's relief from everything, even if just for a little while." She shakes her head and says, "But I can't compare my thing to yours. I'm just weak-willed, you have physical and mental problems coming into play. They might be able to help at your school, though. Do you have a school psychologist or anything?"

"I really don't know. We have a doctor but I don't think he's a psychologist." Jeremy says as he unconsciously pulls his gloves down as tightly as possible. "And I'm not weak-willed?" He mutters, he thinks giving into his heroin addiction again makes him week willed. "Maybe, I'm just scared as all. It's not easy to even tell someone that I have a problem."

"Well, you did go a year without getting back on it. The best I've ever done is a week and a half since I started. And it's not even a drug. It's actually hurting myself, and the scars and scabs get itchy and stuff," says Robin, shaking her head and sighing at that. "But admitting that you have a problem is the first step, right? That's the cliche, anyways… so admitting that it is a problem means, well, you're doing pretty good already…"

Jeremy offers Robin a small smile. "Thanks." He says pulls his legs up onto the bench and hugging them. "I have track marks on my arms again. And..I think we're both actually hurting ourselves just me, things were so much easier before I realized I was a mutant." He says. "But at the same time they were also very much a lie. Our life was a lie and when I found out what my parents really were, it's so hard Robin."

"It can be tough when you find out your parents aren't exactly who you think they are," says Robin, both her and Blank synching to rub their left eyes (or where they would be). "Do you want to talk about that at all? Or is that too hard for you?"

"Well, have you ever heard of the Friends of Humanity?" Jeremy asks, it's a simple question but it will make explaining things so much easier. "My parents are Mutant Haters."

"I've heard of them, yeah," says Robin, biting her bottom lip again. "I'm sorry to hear that. How did you find out?" asks Robin, leaning in slightly to listen to Jeremy. She adjusts her glasses slightly.

Jeremy lifts up a hand. "I touch my Mom and saw everything. They..they were killers. They are killers. They had no problem killing mutants and I saw that. I saw it all. And then…they knew that I'm a mutant." Jeremy says his voice starting to choke up a bit as his eyes focus forward so he can get the rest out. "They were going to kill me. As a demonstration because they had to show they couldn't have a mutant offspring. I..I got into a huge fight with my parents and I don't remember much of it but I ended up here. My brother and sister haven't even talked to me since then."

"I'm so sorry, Jeremy," says Robin, glancing away and rubbing her neck lightly. She crosses her ankles and looks down at the ground for a few moments. "That's terrible that they'd do that, to their own child. Do you brother and sister know what they're like?"

"I honestly don't know. I haven't talked to them since the day I left." Jeremy says. "I tried to call a long time ago but they just hung up the phone. They might sinceI did run away and my father and I got into a huge fight before I left. I was in a runaway shelter at first but I ended up getting kicked out."

"You got kicked out from the shelter?" says Robin, tilting her head and frowning. "I'm sorry… I ended up trying to access ones that weren't mutant friendly, but I was never in then out." She scratches her head lightly and shakes her head.

"Well you know how I said I did stuff I wasn't proud of, well that was one of the things. I got caught steeling." Jeremy says. "Someone there noticed I was having…issues and introduced me to heroin. But I couldn't afford it so I stole. But I haven't stolen anything in a long time." Since he's been off the streets.

Robin rubs her arm lightly and nods, "I guess I understand. I mean, didn't really steal much, I did stuff for money or begged… and being on the streets makes it more tempting to do stuff like heroin, or drinking or whatever…" She tilts her head forward and scratches the back of her neck.

"I didn't smoke until then, I started cause it made the time between fixes go easier." Jeremy says. "I stole, begged and also did stuff for money." He doesn't go into details on what he did for money. "I'll just say I would get desperate for having money for a fix." He then turns to Robyn and smile at her. "Thank you Robin, really, thanks for listening."

Robin nods at Jeremy and smiles in return, patting him gently on the shoulder and rubbing for a moment. "Anytime." She rubs her feet together and glances towards Jeremy, "So what do you think you're gonna do now?"

Jeremy stands up and shrugs. "I don't know, go home and think about my options tonight. Try to develop the courage to tell the school I need help." He says as he reaches out a hand to help Robin off the bench if she wants to get up. "But I have to get going back to Barnes now.

Robin takes Jeremy's hand up and then nods. "Fair enough. I should be getting back to do some homework, too." She rubs her arm lightly and then both she and Blank nod, "I won't tell anyone, but I hope that you do develop that courage. Okay? I'll see you later, Jeremy."

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