Players:
Summary: Skyler and Robin talk about the nature of Robin's powers, culminating in Skyler taking Robin's form.
Date: September 1, 2009
Log Title Double Blank
Rating: G
Xavier Mansion - Quad
There is a square side walk of pavement with a nice grassy area in the middle with a few stone benches and trees along the corners. The pavement leads to the paths to the grounds of the school, the Dining Hall in Xavier's and the Ramsey Dormitories. It's not particularly large but it's a nice place for students and teachers to relax and enjoy the outdoors.
Skyler is relaxing up under one of the trees that line the Quad, taking advantage of the setting sun to get some time outside without feeling like he's baking to a crisp in the hot summer heat. He's got one foot up underneath him as he reads a novel of some kind, chewing his lower lip in thought.
As she often does, Robin has decided to find a spot out on the grass to have a picnic dinner. She has a bag strapped to Blank full of school books, though it's not clear just by looking at it. She holds a basket with a folded up blanket on it in her hands. She pauses when she spots Skyler and then decides to greet him, "Hey! Hi!" she says, trying to get his attention.
Skyler looks up from his book to see who's greeting him. When he spots it's Robin, he grins at her and waves for the fellow student to come join him under the tree. "Hey there, yourself!" he calls.
Robin smiles and runs over, just flopping down on her butt when she gets to where Skyler is. She is wearing some nice jeans and a sweater, which isn't exactly proper attire given recent weather, especially given that she's trying to avoid showers. Blank floats after her and sits down as well, slipping off the backpack. "What are you up to?"
Skyler holds up his book for Robin to see. "It's the first three James Bond books," he explains. "The more I think about getting into the spy business the more it appeals to me. So I thought I'd read up on a bit of fiction about it. What about you? What brings you outdoors?"
Robin shrugs and then digs into the backpack that Blank was wearing, "Well, I was going to eat some dinner and get ready for school with some reading." She pulls out one of the math textbooks and says, "I was always real good in school, but I just missed a year, so I'm behind. So you want to become a spy? That'd probably suit you. Nobody could catch you, that's for sure."
Skyler gives Robin a crooked grin. "Well, when we went to go and save you I did a bit of spy stuff, taking on the identity of that woman and all sorts of things." He shakes his head, "I don't think I should have enjoyed it as much as I did. I think that once I'm done with school here, I'm going to see what it takes to become a member of SHIELD. That seems like a good place to go."
Tilting her head slightly, Robin says, "I've never really considered what I want to do when I'm finished with school. I mean, just last year, I was seriously wondering if I'd ever be able to go back." She bites her bottom lip lightly and says, "I don't think I'd be cut out for something like SHIELD, though. Really seems like I wouldn't be suited for it."
Skyler shrugs at his friend. "I don't know. I never thought I'd be cut out for that kind of thing, either, but after all that's happened to me," he says with another shrug, "It just kind of changes you." He peers at the blanket and bag she was carrying, "So, what'd you make?"
Robin begins unfolding the blanket and she smiles, "I made egg salad sandwiches and corn salad. Too many, just in case I saw someone out here, if you're hungry." She pauses for a moment, considering Skyler's works, "And yeah, I guess it does… I just shut down in bad situations. I mean, I don't really know what else to do but turn off my brain."
Skyler's eyes light up at the mention of egg salad sandwiches. "Oooh, I could definitely help you get rid of any excess sandwiches you might have." With a chuckle he asks, "Have you been in the Danger Room yet? Those sessions really help."
Robin nods, "Yeah, I've been in there before. I mean, I guess I meant situations where I feel totally helpless. Like when we were caught… nothing I could've done would have made a difference. If I think I can do something, I'll be kinda okay about it." She opens up the basket and offers Skyler a wrapped sandwich. "I made it just a little while ago, so it's still fresh."
Skyler takes the offered sandwich and unwraps it. "Mmm, this looks so good." He takes a bite out of it and makes yummy noises as he eats. "This is very good, Robin." He chuckles and quirks a grin, "Well, after the third or fourth time being kidnapped you kind of get used to it."
Robin looks down at her hands and says, "It was awful. I hope that I never ever have to get used to things like that. I thought I was going to be there until I died, until they didn't need me anymore…" She shakes her head and sighs, pulling out one of the sandwiches for herself.
Skyler laughs good heartedly, "Naw. Not while you stay friends with us. If the X-Men doesn't come and rescue you, then the rest of us will." He shakes his head, "I know that it's hard to keep a bright look on things when you're helpless and strapped to a table, but, really, if nothing else hopeless optimism really pisses off your captors."
"Well, I didn't have Blank either. I felt blind and deaf and alone, even though there were always others in the room with me," says Robin, crossing her arms and pulling her knees up a little bit closer. "I dunno. I guess I've never really been an optimist or anything, so it's hard for me to be when things get worse."
Skyler schootches over so he can draw Robin over into a hug with one arm. "It's okay. I know that I'm helplessly optimistic about everything. Not everybody can be or else the world would be way too cheery."
Robin nods her head slowly, smiles weakly and says to Skyler, "That's true. I'd probably get a headache from all that bright, shiny cheer going around." She pauses thoughtfully for a moment and says, "By the way, how are your headaches doing? I have some tylenol in my room if you ever want."
"They come and go," Skyler responds. "I don't usually get them all that badly, just every once in a while it feels like somebody's up and jammed a icepick into my skull." He shrugs, "A glass of water, and a few minutes in a nice, dark room seems to clear it up."
Robin nods her head a couple of times, "Ah, that's good, then. I hate getting headaches. I get them sometimes myself. I just go into my room and go under my covers and turn off the lights until it all goes away."
Skyler gets a thought and grins, "Have you ever gotten Blank to give you a back massage?"
Robin shakes her head. "Blank doesn't do stuff like that unless I'm controlling her. She's given me a pat on the back before, but not really more than that. And when I'm controlling her, I can't concentrate on getting the massage! I can get her to give other people massages. Her hands don't tire like mine do."
Skyler chuckles and shakes his head, taking another bite out of the sandwich. "Pity, that. Although it would be a good goal to achieve with your powers. The more you can control her, or get her to do things while you aren't concentrating the better off you'll be."
Robin finally takes the first bite of her sandwich and chews thoughtfully. "Hmm, that's true. I wonder if I start to be able to control her constantly then I might actually do it, though, and then she'll no longer be…" She pauses for a moment and glances at the humanoid, stating, "What am I saying? She's not even a person…"
"Well, maybe, maybe not," says Skyler thoughtfully. "I mean, she might be a manifestation of your subconscious but you still think of her as a separate person." He takes a bit out of his sandwich and chews thoughtfully. "Maybe she's just a physical representation of the kind of disassociation you feel with your own body. I mean, I'm not a psychologist, but maybe your power is really to create solid object through psychic projection, and that it's manifesting this way because of how you feel about yourself?"
Robin blinks a few times and raises her eyebrow. "Hm, I dunno. This is the form she appeared in when I, ah, manifested… She's always like that, even when I'm sleeping. Or so I'm told…" She takes a bite and stares at the blue person next to her. "And I can see from her eyes, hear from her ears… if she's just supposed to be a solid object…" Sighing, Robin says, "How would that work?" She tilts her head slightly and says, "I do wonder, though, how it works. How my power works. Clearly my feelings have an effect on her… but how much?"
Skyler shrugs at Robin. "Dunno. I know a couple people around here that can possess bits of technology. See and hear and touch things when they concentrate on taking over something. A lot like how you do what you do with Blank." He shakes his head, and finishes off his sandwich, "One of the things that I've noticed from bouncing around from power to power is that while the manifestations of the powers themselves my be different, the trigger and the… I don't know… mental muscles to use them are all very similar."
Robin tilts her head slightly and says, "Oh really." She bites her lip for a moment and says, "Let's do an experiment, then. You can try my power out, and if your power is really, really different from mine, then maybe Blank is just the manifestation of my problems, and I need to make her all weird in shapes and stuff." She and Blank both stare at Skyler curiously for a few moments to see if he accepts the challenge.
Skyler considers Robin for a moment or two before shrugging and reaching out to hold her hand. The change happens in less than a minute, his features flowing and taking a more softer shape, and his body mass shrinks considerably. There's an audible *pop* as an earthy green version of Blank suddenly appears right next to him. His face squinches into a bit of disorientation and confusion before shaking his head and looking up at his version of blank, who looks curiously back at him. "Well," He says. "At least it's going to be easy to tell us apart."
Robin frowns momentarily at Skyler and says, "Oh, ew, you look like me in boy mode. And so scrawny! Well, at least it'll help distinguish us." She bites her bottom lip and then turns to look at the new Blank, "Oh my gosh, two Blanks. Well, you can't name yours Blank, of course… that would be silly." She scratches her head and then asks, while marvelling at the green person. "What are you going to name your puppet?"
"Uh…" Skyler says, drawing out the answer, having never thought about it. His Blank stares back at him and just shrugs. "Bob."
Robin blinks a couple of times and looks towards the green puppet, "Bob? Ick! What an ugly name. Well, I guess he's a boy puppet, then?" Blank waves at the newly named Bob.
Bob waves cheerily back, seemingly completely unfazed by his new name. "Well," says Skyler, "It's…. I don't know. I guess since it's a part of me it's not really male or female. It was just the first thing I could think of," he admits, his cheeks pinking a bit in embarrassment.
"Haha, is that really what I look like when I blush?" says Robin cheerily. She smiles at Bob and says, "Well, I mean, I dunno. I guess I've never thought of Blank as just a part of me. That's probably my problem. I always think of her as a person, so I get really attached to her."
Skyler looks thoughtful as Bob taps it's chin, as if deep in thought. "Well, yeah. I mean, I get everything you get except for things like scars and tattoos and stuff. I even get your hairstyle, which I still haven't figured how /that/ happens. This is just… I don't know. I can feel the connection between Bob and myself, but there's a certain resonance that I recognize as myself."
Robin nods her head and says, "I guess I've never had any perspectives but my own before." Blank tilts her head at Bob and Robin continues, "That's so weird, though, the hair thing. Nice that you don't have scars. You can wear t-shirts! So, how does being me compare to being other people?" She grins curiously, "How does my body rank in your experience?"
Skyler tilts his head curiously, Bob mimicing the movement. "How do you mean?"
Robin and Blank both shrug and Robin says, "Well, you've been so many people. I figured that maybe you'd have a ranking for which people it's best to be. Like, you must prefer some bodies over others, right? I'm just curious."
Skyler looks as if this is something of a novel idea to him. "Um. Not really. The only people I didn't really like being was that one girl who had mental problems that I kinda got." He shrugs, and seems to think about it, "I'm more comfortable being somebody close to my own age, and I don't really like being anybody at the school, but really that's because I don't like the confusion it creates."
Robin shakes her head and she says, "Well, since I'm only ever in girl mode, and I assume you're gonna stay in boy mode, you shouldn't have too much problem with the confusion. Though…" She looks horrified for a second and Blank puts her hands over her mouth, "You'll see me naked! Oh, ew! Just don't try not to think too much about it, for me…"
Skyler bursts out laughing, Bob reflecting his movements exactly. "You should've thought of that before you asked me to copy you." Still chuckling, he shakes his head, "And to be fair, my boy mode and girl mode aren't all that different. I don't have the kind of space needed to get fancy. I've got a few blouses and dresses, when I feel like dressing up, but for simplicity's sake I try to keep with jeans and t-shirts."
Robin shrugs and says, "Well, I mean, I dunno. Your girl mode and boy mode aren't all that different, but your boy mode and my boy mode aren't all that different, and my girl mode is different from both those things. That's what I mean." Blank looks a little bit confused after Robin says all that, and Robin continues, "So anyways, people won't be confused because when they see me, they think 'girl' and when they see you, they'll think, 'boy'." She puts down her half eaten sandwich which she has been just holding the whole time.
Skyler blinks at Robin, trying to sort through what Robin's saying. "I… guess. I never really considered having a girl or a boy mode, really. I just have a me mode." He grins and gives his clone a friendly punch on the shoulder, "It's just that up until now I've never been a boy who looked good in a dress."
Robin chuckles softly at being told that she looks good in a dress. She brushes some of her hair away from her eyes and says to Skyler, "I guess maybe I think too much about it. Overthink the whole girl-slash-boy thing." Biting her bottom lip she says, "Maybe it's a bit silly."
Bob nods when Robin says she overthinks things as Skyler is about to say something. He, instead, glares at his puppet before continuing with his thought. "I wouldn't say silly. The difference between men and women aren't as great as you think, beyond the obvious. A lot of it is social. When you're born a girl, you're raised and treated a certain way. When you're a boy, it's a bit different. Physically, beyond certain… bits… there's not much difference at all."
Robin frowns and she looks down at her lap for a few moments. Blank crosses her arms uncomfortably. "I… I wasn't raised different. Not different from my brothers," says Robin, sighing. "I've always felt wrong about my body. Since I was a little kid. There… there isn't much difference, I guess, I just want to know why it makes such a big difference to me." She rubs lightly behind the painted lens on her glasses and says, "I never wanted to feel this way. I didn't ask for this."
Skyler frowns sympathetically at Robin. "I think I know what you mean. I don't think it bothers me as much as you since I've actually bounced around bodies enough to just feel comfortable with whatever I'm in." He sighs and shakes his head and says, "But think about what I said: A lot of the difference is how people perceive you and how you were raised. Being male and being female is very different socially. I would guess that even if you had the wrong bits, if you had grown up being treated as a girl instead of a boy, you wouldn't be feeling as bad as you are now."
Robin sighs and nods, "I imagine, yeah, I would feel better if that was the case. That's always what I wanted, really. For people to just know that I'm a girl, even if I didn't look like it." She leans on Blank and says to Skyler, "Like, you look like a boy right now. So people will treat you like one of the boys. I never wanted that. I dunno. It's weird and freakish. That's what my dad said. Weird and freakish." She scratches some more at the covered eye.
Skyler shakes his head and sighs. "I wish I could just get in your head and make you see things how I see them. So you're a girl with boy bits. That's going to bother people because it doesn't fit in with what they consider 'normal,'" he says, using air quotes around the word. "That's not something you can do much about. What you gotta do is to convince yourself that you ARE normal. Well, as normal as anybody can ever be."
Robin frowns and says, "It's hard for me, I guess. I really want to think of myself as normal. Really, I do. But I was always told I should be, um, playing football and punching dudes on the shoulder and saying, 'Hey, dude, I'm gonna bang me a million chicks, yeah'." She ruffles her own hair a little bit and says, "Sorry if it's frustrating for you. I want to convince myself as much as you do, really. It's just so hard and it's frustrating for me, too."
Skyler nods slowly. "I know. It's just easy for me to deal with it since I've been there, done that. I was never a jock type kid when I was growing up. I was more into the theater than into football. That and I have two sisters." He shrugs, "This is why you need to see a psychologist. He'll be able to help you see it more than I can."
Robin nods her head slowly. "Yeah, I know… I want to see a psychologist a lot, actually." She adjusts her glasses a bit and stops touching her eye, saying, "Sorry for always unloading stuff on you. You're just one of the best friends I've made here so far."
Skyler reaches out and gives Robin a comforting hug. "It's okay," he says. "I don't mind. You need somebody sympathetic to talk to, and I'm a good person for that."
Robin smiles at Skyler, returning the hug, and says, "Thank you."
