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Summary: Nicholas goes to Emma for help in regards to dealing with his parents death.
Date: June 25, 2012
Log Title: I Need Help
Rating: PG-13
Xavier Mansion - Emma Frost's Office
Miss Frost's office is not as white as one would expect, however it does present an overall theme in the room. Using a classic den/office style structure from the building, the hardwood floor has been mostly covered from entry to desk with a white carpet that has been decorative bordered in an ivy-pattern, with the center having a delicately done floral arrangement. Two plush white leather chairs sit slightly staggered and angled facing a white marble topped desk of dark-stained oak, the Xavier Academy logo in front emblazoned in a polished steel. Atop the desk is materials for physical writing as well as a dual-monitor computer system that seems keyboardless, instead having a single mouse-like interface device. To the right are a pair of striated white marble book-cases filled from top to bottom, in the center of the pair a marble fireplace that burns sedately despite the time or season.
The left wall has a series of file cabinets sitting next to another computer desk, this one with a standard keyboard and mouse with the academy logo floating sedately on the screen. Next to those is a table where mail seems to be laid out next to a carafe of what is either coffee or tea, and a small pile of cookies, which seems to vary day by day. Behind the carafe is a small containers for sugar, fresh cream, and honey.
Behind the desk is a bank of windows facing northwards, running practically from wall to wall, bordered on both sides by silver-embroidered sheer silk cloth, so even when drawn you can make out details outside, and so long as day is present, line pours in to give the room a sense of warmth. For the times when more light is required, it comes from the vaulted office ceiling from a tasteful-looking light and fan combination. Just behind the desk and on the right side is a second door with a hand-print scanner.
There's something intimidating about Emma Frost. It's not that she's mean or overly strict it's just there's an aura about her that makes one feel like she's not one to be crossed. The same aura makes it feel like you might be bothering her when you come to her with an issue. Going to the principals office always has the feeling that you're in trouble too, at least this is all of what Nicholas is feeling as he approches the door. There's a polite knock as he waits for the Head Mistress to anwser, hopefully she's there.
For once the door does not open just before the hand hits it, like almost every student has to deal with. Instead the hand falls on the knock, and after the third knock there is a sound like a voice, only with the mental echo of coming from inside one's head, «Yes? Oh hello Nicholas… just a moment. I am coming up from the gymnasium.» And just like that the door opens, revealing an empty office with three holographically projected screens up, showing CNN, a stock report, and a latin daytime television drama.
Nicholas hesitates before stepping into the office, it's some how even more intimidating without Ms. Frost even in there. He takes a few steps in and not sure if he should leave the door open or shut, he goes with open, figuring it'll shut on it's if need be like it opened on it's on. He selects one of the chairs that are designed for guests and sits down on the edge of one, his eyes glancing at the screens. "I could never understand stocks." He mutters to himself.
As the numbers continue to tic by, and someone named Maria is arguing with someone named Diego over whatever they're arguing over, the slap she delivers comes off like a whipcrack as the door clicks shut behind Nick, and a pair of soft white sneakers carries Emma by and towards her desk. Dressed in as little as a sport bra and a pair of very accentuating yoga pants, the woman is still even wearing makeup and barely looks like she had garnered a sweat as she settles down beside the young man, and cracks a bottle of icy cold water, "Stocks are like hunting, or like painting. It is more art than form. Everyone has a different style, and they all work to some degree. What can I assist you with?"
Nicholas is a teenage boy, so when a woman stands in front of you dressed as she is, with the body she has, one can't help but stare. His cheeks turn red as he realizes what he's doing and why it's taking him several moments to anwser. "I..uh..it's just a have a few things I wanted to talk to..um…someone about. You were the only person I could think to come to, I hope I'm not bothering you." He says looking down at his lap and starts to nervously fidgit with the hem of his shirt. "First is Taylor, she's been…having problems. Reading."
The truth of being a telepath is that you sometimes cannot help but do things to people, just to deal with annoyances. Not that the problem being presented is, but the teenage hormones are. So when Nicholas looks back, he will see Emma dressed in something a little less obvious, but still attractive. She then smiles softly, and takes another drink from her water before replying, "We weren't aware of a problem with Taylor. Admittedly yes, there is a concern that the feline feral mutation might leave them colorblind, but that should not affect any reading acumen. What has happened?"
Nicholas is confused how she changed outfits so fast, but then he figures it's best not to ask. "She has trouble reading words since she became..an ocelot. You probably aren't aware cause she hasn't talked to anyone about it, just…I don't think she knows who to talk to or she doesn't think it's that big of a problem but if you can't read, or you have to read with a magnifying glass, I figure there is someone here who can help her. Doesn't Dr. McCoy have glasses? And he's not normal looking."
Emma looses a slightly amused chuckle, "Doctor McCoy I believe wears those for far-sightedness. He does not wear his glasses when he is in the field, only in the laboratory. It does however disarm the rather beastly physique of his, though." But as she speaks, Emma taps her lip with one finger, "The problem may be more prevasive than just the eyes… however… would you be able to convince Taylor to come to the medical bay for a standard bio-scan? The equipment we have on hand would be well-able to document any physical or neurological conditions the mutation may have caused without the student becoming none the wiser."
"I can try, I'll definately talk to her about it. It's just she always talks about not being able to read stuff, or that it hurts her eyes but then trys to act like it doesn't bother her. But why would she keep bringing it up if it didn't bother her?" Nicholas shurgs. "I don't know. But thanks, it's a start." He means it in a positive light, at least it's something which is better than nothing. "The other thing I wanted to talk to you about was seeing a phychitrist or something." The request is said quitely as he looks down at the floor, almost embarassed to admit it.
There is a very long pause from the woman as she takes in the merit of both requests, and then there is just a nod from her, "I have… shall we say… a very dim view of the psychology profession. For two very important reasons. One is… as being a telepath… mental stability is very paramount on my list of things to be. The other is…" Standing up then, Emma walks over to the window, "Well, the other is not relevant to this conversation." As she watches the outside world from the safety of her den however, she continues on, her face partially reflected in the glass, "I can provide you with a psychiatrist… private and discreet. None of the student body need to know. Doctor Leonard Samson. He has served the superhero community since the eighties, and is well-versed in dealing with anything you might pitch his way."
"It's not like I want to go see one I just don't know how to handle all this." Nicholas says in protest, but it's more in protest for himself than for Emma. "Everynight I have nightmares, I can't sleep, I feel like I'm barely holding myself together. I don't even know who to talk to since my friends seem to get tired of hearing about it I pretend I'm managing and..and…I don't know what to do anymore."
Turning around, Emma faces the young man directly, and provides a sad smile, "Nicholas… I am aware you have had sleeping problems… but there is a good reason why we do not simply approach students and address the issues directly." Walking back over, she reaches out and puts a hand on the young man's shoulder, "We do not always know our limits, and forcing a solution onto someone else does not solve the problem. You are in pain. I feel you ever moment of the day you walk these grounds. And believe me when I tell you that I wish I could simply go in and turn off those feelings and push those memories into a dark corner for you. But that would be both unhealthy and wrong." Her voice goes soft, not in tone, but somehow in quality, losing the hard and proper edge that is often associated with it, "You have been wounded. And in a most grevious way. In a way that will not heal easily or well. I still miss my brother dearly. Even to this day I remember his easy smile and how he might always try to defuse my father, and it leaves an ache in my heart. We do not even know what happened to him. If it was alcohol, or drugs, or something else. We never even found a body…"
"I'm not blaming anyone." Nicholas says before stopping and correcting himself. "I'm not blaming anyone at the school here." He puts plenty of blame on the purifiers. "I just don't know how to deal with it. I don't know if I should be taking something to help me sleep or if I should just keep going on getting three or four hours of sleep a day. And I know you don't want us venting our problems on you, you have enough going on with being an X-Man…Person and runnign the school. I just…thank you." He says instead of continuing on rambling. "I'm sorry about your brother."
A hand comes up to forestall any more comments, "If anyone here is not available to listen… even for the most inane-seeming thing? Then we are not doing our jobs." As Emma sits back down next to the young man, she continues on, "Something that I will agree with Doctor Samson on is that one of the most important things we as human beings or even mutants crave is acknowledgement of our feelings. Even if they seem petty or pointless, we still to one degree or another want somehow to know that someone understands how we feel. And when we cannot find an outlet of understanding, this makes the pain worse." Another pause for consideration, "The normal grieving process was interrupted for you by the Purifiers. You were not allowed to seek solace of family, not attend the funeral, nor be comforted by those who shared your loss. That being considered, you've handled yourself very well."
Nicholas closes his eyes and put pressure pressure on the sides of his face with the finger tips of one hand to try to not cry. "I lost everything except my horse Ms. Frost." He says barely above a whisper. "I just don't know how to handle it, I really don't. I watched them die and there was nothing I could do. Then Bodie…he died to save me, why?" It's not a question he intends to have answerd.
Emma continues to speak in that soft voice, "There is no right answer to that question. God willing, I wish there was." There's that few moments of silence, and then Emma stands up and walks over to her desk to begin typing something away, "I am taking you to see your parents, and your friend. I will have a holographic watch set up to disguise your looks from the general populace, and I will have some of the security people there to make sure no one interrupts. I never got to say goodbye to Christian, and that is something I think you should no longer have to suffer. After that, I believe it is time we dealt with the issue of the Purifiers watching your grandparents, and clear that little confusion up post-haste."
Nicholas looks up with Emma, his face filled with fear. "I…I don't know. I can't go back there Ms. Frost." The idea is enough to cause him to start having trouble breathing. "Everyone there turned on me. Everyone, I can't.." He just can't go back and see what he's left behind. It'd be too painful. Yes closure would be nice but having to see everything, he's afraid. "My grandparents…that's…that'd be great."
Not looking up, Emma replies, "You won't have to see anyone else there you do not want to Nicholas… but believe me when I say… I think this is important for you. I do not normally directly involve myself like this… but you've taken the step to reach out to me for help. The least I can do is anything in my power. I have failed students before… and have suffered watching their pain… and sometimes their own deaths… for my lack of correct action." Some orders begin to process in the system as she straightens up, and adds, "We can see to your grandparents first, and then if you are up to going home."
"I'd rather not go back there." Nicholas says firmly. "I'd have to see everything I've lost, everything. Just to have it be a reminder that I can't go back there, life can't ever be the same. I'd have to see my house destroyed, knowing that my life that was in there is destoryed with it. That's like putting lemon juice and salt in a wound. I know you're intentions are well but I can't go back there. Please." He says pleading with tears in his eyes. "My Grandparents…I want to see them."
It would take a much more experienced eye to understand the look that Emma gives the young man. 'What you want is not always what you need.' But nothing more than, "As you wish." Is said by her while she continues to watch the young man. She does not seem disappointed or annoyed. More in the nature of resigned as she then adds, "Doctor Samson has a Thursday afternoon free to see you, and can do so in a rented office here in Salem. I would say at least sit and talk to him once before we go. In the meantime I will arrange for matters with your grandparents to be… resolved."
Nicholas just nods to Emma's words, it's clear that the idea of going has rattled him and that's afraid to return. In a shakey and quiet voice he speaks after moments of silence. "Can I borrow a school car to get there? With GPS so I don't get lost?" It's clear he's trying not to think about the offer. "And thanks, for doing this for me."
Emma emits a soft tutting sound, and replies, "I am arranging for a service to drive you to the office. As much as I appreciate your independence, Nicholas… I also understand your fear. Despite your want for help, reaching out is hard. Putting a barrier between yourself and the ability to flee will help in that regard." The screens vanish, and she then says, "If after the first few sessions you feel that it is assisting, then I will lend you a vehicle for future appointments." Relenting enough to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that is not a Death Star Laser.
"I wasn't planning on fleeing." Nicholas mutters as he stands up. "I just miss driving. Thanks for your help Ms. Frost and thanks for setting this up with Doctor Sampson. And for Taylor and my Grandparents. I…I'm gonna get going unless there's anything else. I just kind of want to be by myself for a bit."
"Only this… do not discount your own strength, Nicholas. You may not see it, but we do. You are admirable for what you have done so far, and I do not fault your reaching out. Knowing our limits is one of the many things we all struggle to learn." Emma says and then goes back to her water bottle, finishing it off with a single pull.
