2010-06-01: Mistaken Identities


Bruce_icon.jpg Deadpool_icon.jpg

Summary: Bruce and Deadpool each mistake the other as their enemy.

Log Title: Mistaken Identities

Rating: PG (LV)

NYC - Four Arms Apartments (Roof)

The roof looks out over the city the best it can. Since it's only a few stories high and is one of the shorter buildings in the area the view isn't that great. There's an old pigeon coop up here that's long since been used and other than the door, that's the only other thing up here. There's a small railing around the edge that's just one bar with a few posts, nothing to really prevent anyone from going over the edge. Over all those it's a nice quiet spot to go and relax.


The day has been rather annoying to the denizens of Manhattan. A series of storms has passed over the city causing intermittent rain separated by periods of high heat. The result is an uncomfortable humidity level that sticks to your skin. Bruce is not fond of this. It's hard to tell if it's water sticking to him or if he's just really sweaty. It's probably a combination of both, but the cause really doesn't matter.
The man breathes out a puff of smoke he took in from his cigarette and frowns down at the city. Not much going on tonight, which is actually quite surprising. Bruce figured that bomb blast earlier would stem a bit of trouble in Mutant Town tonight. He takes off his Akubra and wipes his forehead. He leaves it off for a moment and uses it as a fan, his cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. The man is wearing khaki shorts with brown boots and a sleeveless khaki shirt left open in the front. The aboriginal tattoos on his chest and arms are clearly visible.

Grunt, huff, grunt followed by muffled clatter. Yes, these would be heard by anyone on the rooftops. A form, sinewy laden with muscle and decked out it deep reds and black was hauling himself up over the lip of the rooftop. " Meheh, too many doughnuts earlier. " He apparently quips to himself. The clatter sound came from the bound up equipment he had just deposited before the rest of him was hauling itself up, neatly setting down. His features were obscured, the expressive white eyes were covered by green night vision goggles, strapped across his chest was a weapon-harness around his waist several belts, dual pistols and twin swords were laden upon these. As of yet Deadpool didn't spot Bruce on the rooftop, seeming fairly preoccupied with himself.

Bruce is looking over the edge of the roof when he hears the commotion behind him. The man turns slowly in a curious fashion to discover what he can only assume is a ninja covered in guns. He stops fanning himself immediately and spits out his cigarette before charging at Deadpool. "Hope you weren't planning on another Mutant Hunt tonight, mate!" Bruce's left arm changes slightly, turning into sand and reforming itself into a crude blade. He stops short of the other man and holds out the blade arm at him. "But while I've got you here, maybe you could answer some questions about SHIELD." It appears that Bruce has mistaken Deadpool for one of the shooters that's been attacking Mutant Town lately. Also he apparently still believes that SHIELD is behind the attacks.

" Mutant hunt? Ho hum, why I guess yeah, I sort of was. " [She's a mutant isn't she?] " Yeah." [But this isn't her]. " Newp dis bit more baritone." Deadpool said outlloud as He scratches the side of his head with a fingertip, before kneeling down and beginning to unpack the AT-4 rocket launcher, " Think this will be appreciated? Some girls like flowers others like chocolate… " A gift actually, one he was bringing Domino, having no clue Bruce was speaking about something else. [Thought that was her, who would have figured someone else was on a rooftop at these hours in New York!] This talking to himself one would think he was speaking into a commo or he was seriously talking to himself, which he was doing the latter. Glancing up, he pushed the nightvision goggles off his his face so it didn't turn Dingo's cigarette into a flare. " That's pointy, I have something like that. " His hands drifting away from the weapon at his feet as he observes Bruce. Finally taking a good look at the man.

Bruce frowns down at the man, but seems a bit confused as to what to do next. "What are you talking about?" He sees the rocket launcher and frowns. That could be a bit of trouble. "Alright seriously now, mate. Promised I wouldn't kill the next one I saw but if you put that there thingymadoo together I might have to…Or I could call Mag…" No, better to not even mention Magneto. They might see that as a golden opportunity. "Who you lookin' for? Someone worth more points than me? I killed two of your men when they attacked my bar. How many points does that land me?" He continues to stand firm. He'll take action once he sees what Deadpool's planning to do with that launcher. If this is another attack on Mutant Town Bruce wants to know what their next target is. He appears unconcerned with the guns and swords.

" Two of my men? Weasel!? You best not have hurt my little buddy, only I'm allowed to do that. " [Doubt that is who he means, Weasel never leaves the house lately.] " True dat. " Deadpool's masked head dropped and he looks down at the Rocket Launcher on mention of putting it together, " Hah! It's already in one piece smarty pants just needs one little component. " His foot nudges it as he says the last bit. " The 'splody stuff." Pausing a finger thrust up into the air the red gloved tip of it wavering at Bruce, " Wait a minute… what are YOU talking about? And points? No one mentioned points involved, geesh. " [Maybe this guys competition!] " Brain, you may be right. "

Bruce is rather confused right now. Is this guy slow? Who would give him a rocket launcher. Bruce lowers his blade slightly. "Um…Well the other guy said all the mutants he killed were worth points…To get them into some elite group. If that's not you then why are you on the roof with firearms? That's how the mutant hunters work." He shakes his head. No, this is just some distraction tactic. "Pissed about that bombing earlier are we? So which is it? Friends of Humanity or SHIELD, who do you work for?"

" Hold on, let me get this down. " Deadpool's hands shot down to his belt and he pulls out a small device, a pad of some sort a button being smashed. " No, damn, really got to figure out how to work this… so, points for each killed mutant to get into elite group. Gotcha, didn't by chance get a phone number did you? I always miss out on the cool kid clubs. " Mashing more buttons he stuffs it away, " Yes, quite pissed I missed it and AH HAH! Now I know who you are… was warned about you, they said they'd have counter-operatives! Must be working with the vicious muta-minxy Domino. Way'ell Mister Dundee, ya think thats a kniofe? I'll show you a knoife! " Suddenly the black and red clad figure was springing into blurring motion, in one hand a katana was pulling loose from over his shoulder and in the other hand he was drawing out buttons? No, explosive caps with Deadpool face like icons on each. About three of them held in one hand.

Bruce looks a bit confused still. "So…You're NOT with the mutant hunting squad. But you want to join them?" But something about the way this man speaks seems slightly sarcastic. "What's a Muta-Minxy? Is that some sort of new mutant hunting squad? And I don't know a 'Domino'." He frowns again. He does seem slightly surprised by the quick movements of the other man, but he does not move once the man gets out all of his weapons. "Oh are those bombs? Don't set those off up here, I have to live in this building."

As for the knife comment, Bruce has never seen that movie. Rather interesting since he says that line at least once a month. He smirks at the man and points a thumb at a couple of crates sitting on the roof. "See that? Stuck them all over the city cause of folks like you." The top of the crate bursts open as the contents fly out toward Bruce, a rather large amount of sand. "I'm sure if you're with the others you've seen video of me fighting. Not something a sword would do much against. So how about some straight answers, eh mate?"

Huh? Hmm? Bad player. No biscuit.

" But I love biscuits, especially with that yummy jalapeno creme cheese spread! Huh? Oh right Dundee. " Those expressive eyes form into slits as he speaks, " No, I don't have a membership card for mutant hunting squad and you don't know Domino? " He scratches at his head with his knuckles, as asked about the bombs he stops what he’s doing pulling them away from his head. " These, no, they're fan service buttons and I figured you were worthy of three. " One of Deadpool's eyes unsquints going round as he watches the sand go all locust swarm towards Bruce, " Oh. See, that’s cheating. Which, evens it up to use explosives don't you think and no some more, I missed your video, am guessing it didn't make it to YouTube huh? "

Bruce is at a loss. "Who mentioned bikkies? And I'm pretty sure those are bombs, actually." The sand forms a ring around bruce and falls to the ground as though disanimated. "No I don't know this Domino person…And actually I did see a video of me on YouTube the other day. But I was talking about the video of me killing those guys who attacked the bar…From the cameras Magneto destroyed." He sighs and shakes his head at Deadpool. "I am so confused right now. Is that how you fight people? You mutter about jam and bikkies until they give up and kill themselves?" He closes his eyes for a moment and thinks. "Ok. So are you here to kill mutants in the town?" His eyes are still closed, as though looking at the other man makes him weary.

" What the fork is a bikkie you crazy Australian Flint Marko? Therrrreee may be some mutants involved, they tend to sprout up like bad re-runs of Home Improvement. But specifically no, unless you are worth -that- many extra points. Daddy could always use a new frappacino machine! " He leered forward abit, [Macnamara isn't a mutant.] " Yeah, I know but they always show up as guards and stuff… [Yeah, that's true.] And if your video didn't involve kittens, noones going to watch it. " Deadpool had visibly relaxed abit but it was obvious not entirely both hands were still prepped and ready, his shoulders though were not postured as they were seconds before.

Bruce opens his eyes again, "Bikkies!" He's getting slightly annoyed now. "Those things you put jam and Vegemite on. Bikkies!" He shakes his head, "Ok, you're obviously talking to someone on a com link, who else is around here?" He does a quick scan of the surrounding rooftops, not seeing anything suspicious just yet. "My video involved me robbing a bank, I think that's better than a kitten…" He turns back to Deadpool and looks a little flustered. Why is this guy so hard to communicate with?"

" HAhahah!!! " Deadpool pounds his swords handle into his stomach as he laughed audibly, " Thats the stupidest word I ever heard for biscuts, come on say it. Say bis-cuts! BISSss-cuts! " More laughter fell from him in large heaps as he stood there, even rising up his hand to wipe his knuckles across his cheekbone, somehow balancing those 'buttons' the whole while. " You're funny Dundee. Bikkies. " Looking from left to right, " Huh? " [He's talking about me.] " Oh, yeah. No, no one on comm right now. Just you and me Sandy-pants. Now then, about this counter-operative thing…" [Sure we should pick a fight, we're not planned out for this, and of course we picked a building with no water tower on it's roof.] " I know, how convenient, huh but shhh. " [Square one again] " So, who are you working for? Tell me or I make your apartment a new skylight. "

Bruce just stands there and listens to the man laugh. "Right right, whatever, mate." He's not so interested in the subtleties of the English language right now. "And I'm not so sure you've got no one on the com link right now, but if you say so." He shrugs slightly. Bruce hears the threat and narrows his eyes. "I don't take kindly to threats, mate." The sand around him extends upward suddenly, forming a ring of spikes angled toward Deadpool. The closest spike comes to about two feet away from the man. Bruce just stands in the middle of his ring of spikes with his arms folded. "But if you must know, I work for the people of this town. The people of the superior race that cannot defend themselves against the oppression of the unevolved. That is who I work for." Also Magneto, but we'll not mention him just yet.

" Well I don't take much kindly to the English language being massacred with words like Bikkies! " A snicker pops out of his mask as the sword danced out swiping at the sand, hopping back with grace appropriate to being Deadpool, even if the swipe was in-effective it was more off of a twitchy reflex. " Elaborate mate, whose the people of this town? ALSO Magn… wait I know who Maggy is. Wait a minute, superior race… right… unevolved, it's all falling into place now, you're a … a Hydra Agent!? Or a Scientologist! " A quick *fwip* was executed and two of the explosives sailed from his hand shuriken like directly at the ground under Bruce's feet.

Bruce just stands there as the other man swipes at his sands. The sword passed through and left no damage to the spikes. Bruce quirks a brow when Deadpool starts talking about the town. "Magneto? Yeah I help him out. Not a Scientologist, though." Before he knows it there are bombs under his feet. He seems a little startled at this and immediately dissipates, turning into a small sandstorm and moving to the other side of the bombs, distancing himself about as far from them as Deadpool is. He reconfigures himself, though now he's just wearing a pair of black boxers. The sand spikes twist around and collapse on top of the bombs, burying them under the sand.

A muffled *crack fwoom* audible as two explosive caps went off, one then the other fortunately Deadpool has them set to be a focused charge that went upwards in the direction the 'mask' on them faced. He was bluffing on that one their explosion only rocked the top of the building cracking it in places but not puncturing a hole. " Coulda fooled me! That leaves only Hydra! Which says fighty fighty time! " This time the third one sailed up and over not aimed for Bruce but directly behind him within a close proximity if it touches down their explosive radius just under 3 meters outwards from where it would land. While that was occurring Deadpool was tumbling to his own right the sword sheathing as he grabs for the bag beside the AT4, his other hand fishing up more two more of the handy bomb-discs.

Bruce was able to gauge the power of the explosives through the sand. They didn't seem all that powerful, so why would he throw another one? Bruce shifts his body into sand and moves to intercept the bomb, not wanting to cause greater damage to the roof than is necessary. Judging by the power of the earlier bombs, he should be fine if this one hits him in the arm. He spins and smacks the bomb, causing it to go off right next to him. It seems that this one is a bit stronger, causing Bruce to fly to the side and smack into the side of the wall where the door to the stairwell is. He crumples to the ground, and lands as a rather large pile of sand. Bits of sand nearby him are slowly snaking their way toward the amorphous pile.

Landing and subsequently springing back up Deadpool was holding an 84mm rocket in his right hand pilfered from the bag and two discs in the opposite. Both of those twirling discs around as he tosses them on opposite sides of Bruce, not meant to maim, kill or even seriously injure just going for keeping him occupied. These were like the first two thrown, concentrated and contained blasts that would erupt outwards like miniature claymores. " I'd tell you how funny you look right now with your sand pudding meets boxers look but I don't think you'd hear me over the 'splosions!!! " He yells loudly, " I always get confused though, which pouch which is in so be careful over there! Teach you to be all Hail Hydra up around here… " He would continue on with his mumbling, obviously preparing to load up that rocket launcher.

Bruce is beginning to recompose himself when the two smaller bombs go off on either side of him. This causes him to hesitate his reconstruction for a moment. Seems that the other man isn't going to give him the time to do that. He decides to disperse into sandstorm form again and moves up to the top of the room the stairs are in. He recomposes himself and looks down at the other man, breathing a little heavy. "What'd you call me? Hairdra?" He's referring to the first time, since Bruce cannot actually hear when he is sand. "I work for the Brotherhood, not these Hair people." Most of the sand he was using earlier is out of his reach right now, he'll have to get over there eventually if he wants to take command of it again, but he needs to rest for a moment. He stands on that extra bit of roof in his underwear and frowns down at the psychotic ninja.

This gave time for Deadpool to load up the launcher, the tube filled with the rocket he had just been wielding. " NOW you don't work for Hydra, bwha wait, Hairdra? I don't have an accent, Did I say Hairdra? Did I just mimick you when I said Hydra without realizing it? Hairdra hair… OH NO The Aussie is trying to superimpose his jibberwocky talk over mine! I will not lose my English to you, you Commie! " The weapon was up on his shoulder now, balanced there as he apparently was taking aim on the sand form only to begin spinning it around as he vanishes in a flicker of light teleporting to Bruce where he will end up a good five feet from the man the weapon pointed reverse direction. " BACKBLAST AREA CLEAR? … " A quiet manish giggle is heard as he follows it up with, " Nope, Sandy-pants is in it! " His finger depresses and the missile sails out the front while a firestream sprays out the back (the backside pointed at Bruce) the rocket careening off into the sky only to erupt off in a brilliant destructive fire blossom in the distance (not hitting anything cept perhaps a bird).

Bruce quirks a brow as the man shows up next to him. So this man is a mutant then? Or perhaps something else like that ghost child. He panics for a moment before realizing that the weapon is held backward. He transmutes himself back into sand when the rocket is fired so as not to retain damage to his true body. The sand that is lost in the blast is regained before he returns to human form. "You just teleported. That means you're a mutant?" He shakes his head, "Didn't you call it Hairdra? I don't know, I've never heard of them…" A mutant who would attack someone from a rival group? But no, he seemed unsurprised that Bruce was a mutant, so it's unlikely this 'Hydra' group is associated with the shootings.

" Flame On failed? " Deadpool’s hand drummed fingers on the side of the rocket launcher having anticipated abit more of an effect like that beautiful flame burst in his mind, shrugging the weapon fell off his shoulder to dangle in his hand. " Hairdra, yes you're a Hairdra Agent. GAH! " His hand comes up and slaps his own face roughly, jarring his head to the side, " You… never heard of them? " Confused pause. " And you said Brotherhood few seconds ago before I went all Geronimo didn'tcha?? That means ahhhh AHhhhhhh ding and ultra masculine purple pink bucket-head Savior of Mutantkind. So, you are not a Hairdra Age… grr Hydra! " His eyes transformed into slits once more. " In that case. My bad, see I mistook you for a communist who was trying to stick it to me before I could stick it to them. Go figure. " That sort of explained it but not really, he wasn't here after communists at all but it made sense enough for now. " No hard feelings there Paul? " [Besides we're out of explosives and asskickery wouldn't work so well on this guy I'm guessing.] Chimed the 'inner voice' (schizo) of Deadpool.

Bruce dusts himself off slightly. "No your Flame-a-majigger would have worked fine, just wasn't all that hot." Not hot enough and didn't last long enough to turn him to glass anyway. "So you're after…Hydra? Not Hairdra…And not mutants." Bruce has to suppress a laugh when Deadpool describes Magneto. "Yes, I work for the Brotherhood to protect this town from terrorists. They've been attacking from the rooftops recently with a bunch of guns. When I saw a man climb onto the roof with a bunch of guns…Well I kind of assumed you were one of them." He quirks a brow, not knowing who Paul Hogan is. "Paul? No no. They call me Dingo."

" Guess next time we bring Elmers Glue and squirt-guns. After yes no, not directly -after- mutants, a few of them could really use a good dose of dead though. A spring and a teleport brought him back down to the discarded bag, hefting it up he looked inside then slung it over his shoulder the rocket joining it. Turning around he would watch Dingo for several seconds, " Nope with some more nopes, sounds like oodles of fun though, pop a terrorist here and there. Hope that goes well for you Diego, time me and muh friend here go visit some folks. Have fun in your boxers and next time I'm getting you to say BiS-CUTS! " He would wave, hopping over the ledge, " And they call me Deadpooooollllll! " This would follow him over the lip of the roof as he faded from view, before entirely gone though the word " Bikkies. " Would be caught on the wind with a final snicker.

Bruce just watches the man with bemused confusion as he collects his things and departs. Just as the man jumps off the roof he yells out "DINGO! You dumb shazza. Geeze." He shakes his head again and sighs, deciding he should probably deal with this mess. He'll find his clothes and put them back on before returning all the sand to its crate. Sounds like an arduous task, but for someone with psammokinesis it takes about three minutes. He glances around once more before deciding he has had enough excitement for one night. He's done with patrol for tonight. Bruce sighs one more time before heading inside to go to bed.

~ Fin ~

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