2010-07-15: Outside


Connor_icon.jpg Robyn_icon.jpg

Summary: Connor (from the future) tries to help his old friend Robyn with some Tough Love.

Date: July 15, 2010

Log Title: Outside

Rating: R

Xavier Mansion - Boathouse on the Dock

A wooden dock stretches fifteen feet out into the water. Students can fish from the dock, or dive off if they like. A few rowboats, canoes, and paddle boats are tied to the docks for the students to use. A boat house where students can find paddles and life jackets sits at the edge of the water.

This scene is named after the song 'Outside' by Stand

Robyn couldn't say in the medbay any longer so after pulling out his IV, he's slowly made his way out to the dock where he currently stands at the end of the wooden platform. He's dressed in just the medbay gown, brusies and bandages visible on his legs, his broken arm in a cast and sling, the other arm bandaged up and a bandage still around his head. It wasn't easy getting out here, quite painful, but he needed to get away. He couldn't stand to be in that room any longer. It was stifling.

Connor's touchdown in the boathouse is a bit smoother than anything his current self can manage, barely a whisper in the air, but there is the sound of creaking planks as his weight shift causes the place to sound off his presence. Not in the uniform he's borrowing from the X-mansion, instead he's in a grey t-shirt, a pair of BDU pants, and his own jump boots, cutting an almost severe military figure. "You know…" Says the familiar but foreign voice, "Last time I did something like this, the Jono of my time telekinetically knocked me onto a bed, and shunted my mind unconscious. I recall you were pretty pissed at me too."

The breeze ruffles through Robyn's hair as he turns and regards Connor for a moment. "Hrm?" He says, his voice almost disturbingly calm. "I like the fresh air, it's nice. The clouds are pretty too. You can get lost looking at them and the various shapes. What do you see when you look at the clouds?" He says as he turns back to look out over the water. "Jono always says I don't listen and that I'm foolish."

There's a grumbling exhale as Volk steps out and looks up at the sky, "Hard to remember the last time I looked at a cloud as a cloud. For us clouds are cover from high altitude Sentinel scans, except they'd usually just fly lower, or meant it there was acid rain from the pollution from the factories." Shaking his head he turns and looks back at Robyn, "So… what happened."

"Then look at them now, it might surprise you." Robyn says as he stretches his good arm out to the side of him. "Fresh air is nice, not sterile. No Selene out here." He says since the woods and the medbay are just memories of what happened to him. "What happened? Explosions, attempted murders, you know, the poision that is Xavier's." He says the last part bitterly before his face calms again. "Do you ever think it'd be easier to be a fish?"

Connor mumbles out, "Swing on a star…" And then chuckles a moment before he tilts his head, and paces the length of the boat room to the other side, and comes back, stopping in front of you, "Nope. Fish has gotta eat. Fish has gotta breed. Fish has gotta live to be the toughest fish it can be. But… Fish might still end up on my plate." Shrugging once and holding his hands wide, "You've got that look in your eye… a look I know. It's a peculiar mix of 'Fuck off' and 'I've got a plan' but with a hint of 'God someone please help me' in it. It's the look I used to get from my Robyn in my time. That was after we stopped being friends though."

"I'm fine." Robyn says in almost a sing-songish way. "I don't have any plans, I don't want any plans. I don't want to do anything. And you can stay, I don't mind." His voice sounds flightly as he looks back at Connor. "We're already on someone's plate. Jinx and I were already someone's dinner. Yes, it'd be easier to be a fish. Like the coy in the pond. They're beautiful, someone feeds them and there isn't a bigger fish in there." There's a pause as the smile on his face fades a bit. "You stole my friend away from me. Selene stole James away from me. Jordan stole himself away from me. So…I'll hide. Noone can find me then."

For a moment there's a pause as Volk considers you, and his arms tense, as if action was about to occur, but then he stops and walks out to the end of the house, sitting on the part just over the water, "Be thankful I did… if he saw you like this, it'd break his heart. Maybe you haven't figured this out yet, but he doesn't deal with people well. So… you and Jordan split? Far wiser thing than what you did to him in my time. Trust me… you'll be better off in the long run."

Robyn looks down at Connor and considers him for a bit, like he asked a question that doesn't make sense to him. He's quiet for too long before answering. "No, he's running away. Leaving. This school is poison." He says with a nod as if it's fact, even if Robyn doesn't agree. "We're still together, I love him." Like that solves everything. "We're just going to be apart." He looks out at the water and sits down on the dock. "I don't trust you, I don't like you." It's spoken like a five year old would say it, very matter of factly with out any malaice behind it.

Connor replies, "Well good. First smart thing you've said." Looking up at you, "It means you'll listen to what I say because you'll consider my motives suspect. The first time Jordan dies, I wasn't around… I was picking up the pieces of my own life. But you broke under that… and then…" he puts his hands wide, "He came back. Turns out, Sinister left his cloning matrix active. So you tried to salvage things. Then he died again. And once more you hurt… but you also realized… he'll come back. Pretty soon… Jordan was nothing but a tool for you to use… and you knew all the right things, all the sweet lines… you had a whole FUCKING SCRIPT…" Those words actually yelled, "JUST FOR JORDAN! Just… for everyone. Buttons to push, knowledge to be had… a war to be won. And all the while… you were screaming on the inside for someone to save you from what you'd become."

Robyn covers his ears, like a child, and just doesn't want to listen. "JUst shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He yells in a tantrum. "Leave me alone!" He says as he goes to push himself up and run away. He doesn't want to hear anything that might sound like it could possibly be a problem or negative. "I don't care!" He shouts as he starts to run down the dock, it doesn't matter that he shouldn't be running, it doesn't matter that it hurts to do so, what matters is that he gets away. He can't take anymore.
Connor pages, "Permission to powerpose?" to you.
You page, "Sure" to Connor.

Connor replies by throwing an effect field around Robyn, lifting him off his feet and floating him back towards the lake, until he's floating over it, one finger held out non-chalantly to support him inside the grab, "No… I think you do. I also think you're in so much damn hurt inside you can't bear it. You feel like something's wrong, and no one is there to fix it for you. And you've got fuck all ability to fix it yourself… so you run away from it. And you'll keep running until you don't know where or who you are anymore. And by the time you get back to the life you had you're a different person, and everyone knows it… and everyone misses you. But by then? You don't care. Because it's better… than being in pain."

Robyn slumps, defeated, and just looks down at the water. "Let me go." He says in almost a begging tone, the defeat obvious in his voice. "Just drop me." The water would be welcoming right now, just let it swallow him. "I don't care Connor, just drop me." He says as it's not helping him, he just knows that according to Connor, he's not a good person in the future.

The word comes firmly, "No." And you're drawn in closer until you're both face to face, but Robyn held firmly and yet somehow gently in that grip, "You don't care, but I -DO-. So you're just gonna have to trust me. I'm not your Connor, but your Connor isn't what you need. What you need is the truth. And the truth is… I was no better. I didn't care. Not for years… I ran away… I went for my family first, and I abandoned all of you. I wasn't there when Xavier's was hit. I wasn't there when you helped form the Rebellion, and for all that you did for them… sacrificed for them… But… so long as I'm stuck here in this time, I'm going to be here for you, little rabbit. Right now… you think you've got nothing. And that's a good start."

Robyn just looks down, he doesn't look at Connor at all. "I don't care about what you think, I just want you to leave me alone." He says quietly. "Please." He says a his body is still relaxed and limp. "I just want to be alone Connor. I want to look at the clouds." He says taking a deep breath. "Jordan's leaving and…he won't even say goodbye. I know he won't. He doesn't need me. You don't need me. James needs me, I can't do anything." His eyes then look up to Connor's and there's a dead look to them. "So if you're the same Connor but ten years older? You've even abandoned us now, when we needed you but you're saying we should get used to?"

Again he says, "No." And Volk then exhales, "The timeline's diverging… changing. Things aren't as I remember them. Rashmi and Lucas aren't a couple anymore, you and Jordan aren't together… none of it's how -I- remember it. But that's GOOD… that's better. All I remember from this school was being too self-absorbed in learning to really make friends, but friends made themselves. You, James, Lucas, Rashmi, Jinx, Tara… In my memory, I wasn't really friends with Heather, but now I am. It's all ChANGING… and when it changes enough… at best, I go home, at worst? I cease to exist. But DAMMIT!" And there's an edge to his tone that's almost fragile, "I couldn't save you then! Let me help save you now! Let me make up for one mistake I already made! Let me in the damn door, Robyn! You died in my arms once, and now you're dying again… and how the hell do you think it makes the rest of us feel to see it?!"

Robyn looks up at Connor and sniffs. "Jordan and I didn't break up." He says even though he's hurt by him, they didn't call things off. You don't end a relationship when things get rough…right? "If you want to help me Connor, stop talking about future me. You think I like hearing these things? You think I want to know?! You think it will make me feel better?! Well it doesn't! NONE OF IT DOES!" At least he's getting a reaction, even if it is anger. "I don't want to know that I become an asshole, I don't want to know I die, I don't know what to know any of this! I DON'T WANT IT IN MY HEAD!" He yells as tears form up. "And how do you think I feel you telling me this?! IT DOESN'T HELP!"

Connor growls out, "No… it won't make you feel better, but it WILL make you feel. Anger's good. Anger means you've still got something left in there. If you can't find in yourself the strength to hold on right now… look for it in others. Look for it in Jinx. In Lucas. In your teachers. Look to the people who you would never expect. If you can't trust yourself, then trust someone else. But don't shut the world out. This place isn't poison. I don't give a fuck who told you that." His finger flicks as he brings you closer, almost to the wood to step down, "You hate me… and I accept that, because I stole your friend from you. I can't change what's happened here. I came back too late for that. But I can change what happens from now on. I can stop that Robyn from ever happening. I can help you get back on your feet. But you gotta LET me. This entire conversation you've never once told me no. Or told me to stop. You told me to go away… but you didn't really want that, now did you."

Jinx was the one that caused Robyn to smile yesterday, he's not trying to run away from her or Lucas. "Nothing is solid Connor. I can't get away from her. Even now, I can't. I see James and I see evil. Do you know what it's like to have someone purposefully try to kill you? To have someone want you dead and the -only- reason you're alive is someone found you at the right time? I've been in fights, I've been raped, I've been injured, I've been turned into a frog but that…that was different." It's one thing to have someone try to kill you because of what you are, it's another when they do because of who you are. Because they want -Robyn Larkin- dead and right before they even tell you it's because they dispise you.

The answer this time comes almost silently, a bare and throaty whisper, "Yes. Yes I do. But instead of me dying… because -I- was the mutant… -I- was the one they wanted… my family paid the price, right in front of my eyes." The anger boiling up is almost palpable, but at the same time, he floats Robyn to the other side of the boathouse, and releases his grip, "I've had a whole world against me, and even friends who became enemies, right before my eyes. I've seen naked hatred stared at me, as well as fear, and sobbing wretched cowardice… all because of what I am. What I was." Turning, Volk begins to walk slowly towards the door and the school, "When you're face with something like that… only three things you can do. You can become as bad as it to survive… you can die… or you can take the hard road, and become better than it. Pretty clear which road I took, kid."

There's the difference, it's because of what Connor is, not who. It's the who that terrifies Robyn and sits with him. Then everything added on top of it, it's not something he can just get over. As soon as his feet touch the dock, he doesn't support himself and just falls to his knees and bottom. He doesn't feel better but he feels alone and scared and miserable and all that pain is built up layer upon layer in him. He can't think of anything to say and doesn't even watch Connor walk towards the school.

Connor opens the door to the boathouse, and fishes out a lifejacket, coming back over to you as you sit there, and puts it on around you, moving slow enough so as not to harm your broken or hurt parts as he says, "If you fall in like this, you'll drown… can't have that." Once the buckle is secured, he sits down next to Robyn, and then smirks, "What… you thought I was just going to leave you here to sunburn while you sort it all out? I'm an asshole… but not THAT much of an asshole."

"Just leave me, alone." Robyn says to him as he tries to fight the life jacket being put on him. He doesn't want it. Things are just so confusing and too much, it's all too much. He's almost afraid to see what tomorrow brings. "Just get away from me and leave me alone."
"Say please.", Volk replies softly as he sits there, "Don't just say the words because you're lashing out. You want me gone, ask me to leave."

Robyn sits up and carefully removes his sling so that his broken arm, in the cast, is free before looking over at Connor and taking a deep breath. He dosen't say anything but swings his arm hoping to catch him upside the head. "What do you want, me to say everything is gonna be fucking peaches and roses cause it's not! It's not Connor! You want me to be okay but I'm NOT OKAY! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Connor accepts the hit, even though his reflexes move his arms to start and stop it, and he rolls back with it, ending up over and into the water with a heavy splash. Several agonizing moments later, he comes up for air, a small cut on his forehead from the edge of the cast denting him, and he just treads water there silently.

Robyn grabs his arm afterwards and his eyes tear up from pain. "You don't understand Connor, you think you do but you don't. You want me to be happy again and play along so I don't hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I bother you right now but this isn't easy! I'm not how you want to remember me and I'm sorry, right now I can't be that person! I don't need someone making me feel worse about myself and you just did that! I got my friends hurt, I almost got myself murdered, YOU SAY GET OVER IT LIKE IT'S EASY! IT'S NOT! I DON'T WANT THIS!" He yells as he gets up again. "I liked you better when you were seventeen, at least you were nicer."

Connor starts swimming slowly to the dock ladder, "Yeah, well… I liked me better too. I think a lot of people did." The water casades off him in all directions as he comes up fully and stands on the docks, "Never said it was easy. All I'm trying to show you is you're not alone. It's not going to make sense now. But with some time… and some thinking on your part… it will. I don't care if you thank me or not if it all sinks in… but you've got three choices. You can die. You can sink to her level. Or you can rise above it." Another shake of that wet head and he begins walking off, moving past you without touching, "Take some advice. If you're going to take off someplace for a bit… there's a couple hundred in cash Connor keeps hidden under his closet as a reserve fund. Take it, get a cab.. go into town and find Rashmi. If anyone's going to help you get some equilibrium back, and give you any sense of peace? It's her. It's what she does."

Robyn's fingers slide between the gap in the woodedn planks and he grips onto the wood with his good hand. He listens to Connor but doesn't say anything and doesn't even look as he walks past. He's mad at Connor for ruining those few moments of peace he had, for telling him what he did and for using 'tough love'. He knows this 'Connor' is telling him to take younger Connor's money, he knows they're the same person but they aren't. He just sits there in silence.

His hands slide into his pockets as Volk looks down once, and snorts as he smirks, shrugging a bit, "Never was good at this stuff anyways…" Said to himself before he starts humming something as he steps off the docks, resolving into words as he starts roughly singing along with the song from before, "… And the monkies aren't in the zoo… every day you might see a few… so you see it's all up to yoooooou… you could be better… than you are. You could be swingin… on a star…"

All the times
That I’ve cried
All that’s wasted
It’s all inside

And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It’s back again

And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can’t mend

And I feel
Tomorrow will be okay
But I know

That I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

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