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Summary: Connor and Robyn get a moment to talk about recent events.
Date: August 25, 2011
Log Title: Sitting on the Dock
Rating: PG-13
Xavier Mansion - Boathouse on the Dock
A wooden dock stretches fifteen feet out into the water. Students can fish from the dock, or dive off if they like. A few rowboats, canoes, and paddle boats are tied to the docks for the students to use. A boat house where students can find paddles and life jackets sits at the edge of the water.
Down by the water the sounds of music can be heard playing, something being sung by a woman in German with a bit of a goth rock sound to it. Robyn sits on the edge of the dock, his shoes next to him, as his feet dangle in the water. He leans back on his arms and just watches the sky for a bit. He's since shaved and gotten a haircut but he's still dressed in the school issued Xavier sweat pants and t-shirt as he hasn't unpacked anything Connor has packed up yet.
When you're used to a friend appearing out of nowhere, the sound of footsteps can be disconcerting when followed up by a familiar voice saying, "I asked someone on security… they told me you'd come down here." Says Connor as his hands remain in his pockets, his face pensive, "Are you mad at me?"
Robyn pats the wood next to him and looks up at Connor and gives him a smile. "Not at all." He says and from the tone of his voice he means it. "Actually I've been wanting to talk to you but lately I've been mostly sleeping, eating and then sleeping more. Getting my head back on straight you know?" He then looks at Connor and the smile fades. "But how are you doing?"
Connor flops down on the dock, curling his legs up so that he can rest his chin on his knees, and wrap his arms around his shins. Looking at you a moment, he rocks back and forth a couple times, and then says, "I… I'm worried about you. I want to talk about my own stuff.. but it isn't important. What I went through is a blur followed up by some bad choices… you… by the sounds of it, you're the one who should be asked that. Not me." Looking back out on the lake, he adds, "I didn't know what else to do… I needed to do something. I felt powerless. I just thought… if I did something we planned… maybe things would start to go right again."
Robyn leans against Connor just liking the comfort of having his best friend there. "I know I'm usually a mess after stuff like this but..I'm going to be okay. It's weird, I was telling Rashmi I feel like I won in a way. I got Mindbender so annoyed with me he couldn't use me anymore. I got a chance to stab him with a psiblade." He says smiling. "That's how I ended up in The White Prison, that and I starved myself of psychic energy hoping that either of Heather's Parents would touch me and they'd be put out of commission but it was Heather. But I did something and he stopped using me to attack my friends, school and whoever their opponents were." He says sitting up again and looking at Connor. "But you packed your stuff and my stuff. We don't even have an apartment yet, where were you going to go?"
Connor admits, with a bit of a blush, "I was kinda panicky… I didn't really plan that far. I was just kinda hoping your parents might let me crash on the couch for a few days… maybe… or something." Shaking his head, he reaches over and touches your shoulder, "You were strong. It's good to hear. It's also good to see you not… well… turning in on yourself." He then lets the hand drop, and says, "Is it weird that I don't want to leave, but I really have to get out of here?"
"No, it's not weird. I feel the same way." Robyn says looking at Connor. "And I already talked to my parents, you're welcome to stay at my place until we find a new one. Rashmi has a few places for us to look at." He says looking Connor in his eyes. "Connor, you're still my best friend. No matter what, okay? Powers or not, you're still Connor. They might come back cause the future you had powers but if they don't…well….you're always be a part of this. You've been through too much with us to not be."
Connor looks up at the sky, "God… I don't want to THINK about that future me. He was a jerk… and besides… we don't even know if that future is going to happen anymore. Dr. McCoy said that time is fluid going backwards… events can be altered from point to point that he called… Watershed moments. Things that couldn't be changed." Bringing his head back down it thumps on his knees and he adds, "Rashmi's here?"
"I don't know if she's still here or not but she was the day after I came back." Robyn says watching his friend for a bit. "We missed our whole summer vacation….." He says. "You should talk to her. She's worried about you."
Connor shakes his head once, and then frowns, "I'm not ready… I'm trying to push myself out of failure mode… on my own. As much as I love Rashmi like a sister? I can't go to her every time I'm having problems."
Robyn gives Connor a side shove and frowns at him. "Next time you say that you're going into the water. You're not a failure. What did you fail at Connor, name one thing you failed at?" He says as he gives him a sort of stern look. "If you're blaming yourself for what happened to Me and Heather and Shane and tht other girl than forget it, it's -not- your fault. You couldn't have stopped it. You did what you could and you know what, you were there for me when I needed you most. So tell me again, where did you fail?"
Connor shoves back, only half-heartedly and replies, "Hey… it's not all me, okay? It's the stupid disorder. I get kinda hooked on what went wrong, and not what went right… and as for… failure… I don't want to get into it right now, okay? I came down here to find YOU… not talk about me."
"You found me." Robyn says giving him a smile. "It's just that you seem to be dealing with this a lot harder than I am. I got my crying out, I'm feeling better. I don't have any broken bone or anything and everything worked out in the end. And Heather…that girl amazes me. She's stronger than people give her credit for. I was in the White Prison for three weeks, it felt longer but it was only three weeks. Her, she was in there for three years. I don't think I could have taken it Connor. Then there was the Happiest Place on Earth and the Land of Meat each just as fake and real and horrible. At least in the Land of Meat Heather carried me. Literally and metophorically."
Connor looks confused, and then just shakes his head, "Seriously… sounds like some twisted Disney meets Lewis Carroll and Philip K Dick kind of thing… man…" Shaking his head, "Look… Robyn… yes, I'm taking it hard. Because I screwed up. And I'm not ready to talk about it. Can't you just accept that?" Some frustration creeping into his voice.
Robyn stays quite for quite sometime, his feet moving back and fourth in the water not caring that his pants have gotten wet. He's got quite a few other things he wants to say but holds his tongue for now. "I'm going home either tomorrow. Tonight is my last night here." He says quitely sounding almost a bit sad about it. "It's been my home for three years and now….I start art school in a week or so."
Connor fishes the keys out of his pocket, jangling them, "I'll drive you to New York, and help you get settled at least… Mom and Dad… they're bummed that I can't just come home when I want anymore… so my mom's been calling your mom, I think." That thought causes him to smile, "I'll bet your mom has already chewed mine out for diet advice. You saw how she is."
"Why diet advice? You've seen that my parents are both thin as rails." Robyn says pulling his feet up and hugging them to his chest. "My Mom…she's been freaked out. They had plans for this summer. I didn't know it. They were going to surprise me since I graduated and got into art school. Right now I need stuff to be familar Connor. I need stuff to be what I know. Two months I've been away from anything comfortable right now I just need that. I can't stay here any longer our room isn't our room anymore. It's just a place with two beds now."
Connor turns to face you finally, and then looking into your eyes, "Make you a deal. I'll talk to you about what happened when I'm ready… but first I say we get you home, get you to your parents… and get you into art school." He then smiles a bit, "Robyn, this is my MOM we're talking about… she thinks everyone could eat better. Emphasis on Thinks. Dude, she's lobbying for TOFURKEY again…"
Robyn makes a face at the mention of tofurkey. "Tofu shouldn't be eaten, ever. Nothing that bland should ever be eaten. Tofu, Cream of Wheat…anything that tastes like wet cardboard nothing. That's all there was to eat in The White Prison, this Cream of Wheat type stuff that tasted like nothing." He says making another face. "So once you get me home what are you going to do?" Robyn asks Connor. "You dogged the offer I made before."
Connor chuckles a bit, "That's because I was GOING to ask your mom to use the couch while I job-hunt. So I can't teleport… doesn't mean I can't work. I can ride a motorcycle and drive a car… so I can get around the city… and there's plenty I can do while I do like… an internet college or something. I don't know if I'm up for another school just yet." Shrugging his shoulder as he looks out on the lake, "I'd rather we find a place to stash ourselves. Someplace where… I dunno… we can create normal again."
"You don't have to be Connor." Robyn says as he yawns a bit. "Sorry, still recovering a bit I guess. I know Connor, my families apartment is small so I don't know how long we could stay there with them but Rashmi's been looking for a place and has a few possibilities. Also…I think I'm going to break up with Jordan."
Connor replies without thinking, "Good. he's a weight around your neck, not a boyfriend. If he loved you… he'd… try. He just takes you for granted. I heard he came looking… but after you were missing for almost two weeks." Shaking his head, he then adds, "We're all recovering, Robyn… just… thanks for respecting my wish. It's not you… totally. It's me. I can't… just let other people help me all the time. I have to help myself. Just like you did."
Robyn blinks a few times and looks away from Connor. "Please…just…this is something I have to deal with and don't tell me that he's not good for me." He knows it. "Just…I do care about him and love him. It's hard enough to make the decision without you…wait he came looking?" Robyn says before shaking his head and taking a deep breath. It's obvious that does bother him a bit. "Connor, I didn't have a choice. I helped myself because I -had- to. Believe me I wanted someone to help me, I tried to even reach out to Chloe for help. I managed Connor and I'm happy I managed by myself but don't you think I would have rather relied on friends if they were around?"
Connor grumbles out, "If I could have… I'd have swapped with you in a heartbeat. I can't remember what happened to me, only that I'm not supposed to know. Most of it anyways. I know I tried to help you… tried to help a couple others… look…" He then stands up and stretches, "I'm not going away… I'm… I'm trying to get through this too. Your personal stuff is just that… your's. I'm trying to deal with mine. But you went through hell. Again. And I'm supposed to be your friend. What's so wrong with shelving my own malfunctions for a while so I can make sure you're allright?"
Robyn stands up as well and turns to Connor putting his hand on his shoulder. "Connor, I know you would have. And yes, what I went through sucked but I'm okay. I promise. Right now what I need is for you to make sure I can keep on smiling okay? I don't like feeling like this is another hill to get over cause right now I feel like I'm over it. We're eighteen Connor, when do we get to be kids for a while? I know we've been through hell and shit but right now, I want to be a kid for a bit." He says smiling as he does something he's never done before, he leans forward and gives Connor a light kiss on the cheek. "You are my friend, never supposed to, you are. I can't explain why I am taking this easier than I have in the past but I am. But you, you've always been a rock to my emotions." He says standing up before jumping into the water, clothing and all. He pops out of the water with a laugh. "You worry about me, let me worry about you. And by the way, the water feels great."
Connor watches you for a long moment… then he strips off his pant, and his tops… revealing himself to be wearing a set of skivs under it all, and then runs off the dock to cannonball right into the water next to you!
Robyn laughs as Connor jumps in with him. "We missed most of our summer vacation, we're supposed to have fun during it, so, let's just try to enjoy what time we have before it's over? Okay?"
Connor splashes some water at you as he replies, "I suck at having fun, allright? So… I'll follow your lead this time." And then once more he gets a wave going your way, just using his arms, and chuckling a bit.
Robyn splashes Connor right back. "And I'm not bothering you to open up to me now, I'm just letting you know you don't have to go through what you're going through alone, when ever your ready I'll be here to tell you you're being silly." He jokes with another splash. "You know we missed Heather's birthday. I want to talk to Chloe and Rashmi and you about throwing her a birthday party. Like maybe a party you would throw for a kid with a pinata and stuff. Her parents are horrible people who never treated her like a kid, she deserves to be a kid even if for a day."
Connor falls under the water a moment, and then comes back up, trying not to complain about 'dirty water', but then recovers as you talk about the birthday, and then tilts his head, "Cool… but we shouldn't do any games. She plays games to work out mental problems… anything you put up will be a task… so… maybe… I dunno… we could get one of those theme packs from a shop. Like My Little Pony. It's something she'd like… I think."
"I think she likes Hello Kitty, she's always wearing the jammies. But we should talk to Chloe and Rashmi too." Robyn says with a nod. "She gets the games thing from her father, Dan. He's the same way. The entire time I was in The Happiest Place on Earth I was trying to think of a way to stay one step ahead of him, find a way to play the game but use rules that he didn't know where in place."
"Hello Kitty…" Connor muses, "My friend Dylan could ship us out a bunch of stuff… his older sister was big on it back in the day… I'll bet she's got plenty of things she could part with, or knows where we could order new stuff." Latching onto the idea and running with it, "Man… you out-thought her dad… that's pretty cool. Even you have to admit."
Robyn treads water and shrugs. "I don't know if I really did or not but I think he didn't think I could astrally project myself and create glitches or that I could starve myself of mental energy. Though…I can't astrally project myself. In The White Prison he was expecting it and and back lashed on me." He takes a deep breath. "Heather, I'm really glad I got to know her. I thought she was so strange at first but she's awesome."
Connor smiles a bit, "She asked me out on a date, you know. As in a date, date…" Blushing a bit as he starts swimming for the dock carefully, "The biggest problem is people don't get Heather. She wants to believe in all of us, she wants everyone to be real… and she's always afraid people are going to steal that away from her. To her… we're not just people… we're a part of her."
Robyn shakes his head. "I thought I got her but now I -really- get her. I even understand her food and would eat it." He says laughing. "Her whole life was her parents messing with her head, she knows it too. She knows all the illusions and I got just a glimpse of what she's been through. I've been to her worlds and I'm happy I got to stab Mindbender."
Connor just falls silent as he pulls himself out of the water, and flops down on the dock, staring up into the sunny sky for several moments, just breathing there before saying, "Huh."
Robyn pulls himself up out of the water and lies down on the dock next to Connor. "So she asked you out on a real date? Are you going to take her on one?" He asks grinning at Connor. "I know you always said you guys were just friends but I always thought you had a small thing for her."
"I don't know, Robyn… I do… and I… part of me just knows how she feels. How much she wants things to be… normal." Not moving from his stop, as he then adds, "I was gonna take her to Coney Island. I've never been… and from what I got, it's what you do."
Connor turns his head to look at you, "Too bad I don't have my powers… I was going to cheat a carnie to win one of those huge stuffed animals for her."
"I think you can win one on your own." Robyn says to Connor. "Unless you want me to hide on a corner and possess the carnie and then when you win he can give you the best prize to give her." He says joking around a bit before his face gets serious. "I'm sorry Connor, I didn't mean just, I think as long as you do something that you think will be special she'll love it."
Connor replies softly, "That's just it… she doesn't WANT special… she's had too much special. Bad special too. She wants… regular. So I'm going to give her the most regular thing I can."
"Well if she wants a regular, normal date, won't that make it special in its own way?" Robyn says. "I don't mean weird to trying to hard like a dinner that cost hundreds of dollars per person but sometimes just going out to dinner or a movie might be special. Like Jordan and I used to do but now…I don't know what went wrong with us Connor. He used to be so nice and good to me and now…I don't even know where he lives."
Connor just says shortly, "He gave in. To hating… to anger… to everything. He just gave in…" Said with a stonewall of certainty.
"You shouldn't have told me he came looking for me, now it's making me doubt breaking up with him." Robyn says taking a deep breath. "But I have to. There's gotta be someone else out there for me who will tell me they love me back instead of ditto or as you wish." He says before looking at Connor. "Just have fun with Heather. I know we've been through stuff that made us older than we are but at the same time, that's what we are kids and kids like to have fun." He then gives Connor a big hug. "Thanks for everything Connor."
Connor accepts the hug, and then meets your eyes, "I don't know the particulars of why he came, Robyn… you'll have to ask around. But everyone who heard anything said he was being a jerk about it. The school… everything." Once more the hug is tightened, and he adds, "You're welcome. If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have survived the first half-year here, remember? You offered to be my roommate. Even after all the stupid stuff."
"Hey who else could I get as a roommate that would willingly dust all my scuptures daily and on top of that, you probably packed them in a way that they wouldn't break even if dropped off the Empire State Building." Robyn says. "You're like a brother to me and more Connor. I don't think I could imagine you not being my best friend."
