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Summary: Rashmi tells Theo about her experiences in Africa.
Date: Tuesday, February 8, 2011. 4:43pm
Log Title: Tales from Africa!
Rating: PG
NYC - Central Park
Central Park is a large public park in upper Manhattan, largest areas of green with people reading, having a picnic, or playing Frisbee. Walking paths can be found all around the park. In-between the large area's of grass, the park is shadier with many trees. A large road circles the park where joggers, bicyclists, and inline skaters are commonly found.
Tuesday, late afternoon. Theo isn't usually found in the city. It's obnoxious and smelly, not to mention is chuck full of machines to listen to the jabbering of. Centra Park, however, is much more managable. The snowy ground doens't seem to bother him too much. A long black coat covers most of his features, an wool cap covering his head and ears as he stands at the base of a rather tall pine, looking up into it. There's a rustling up high in the branches, something is crawling around up there, and it's not very quiet.
Much further down the path, a familiar series of moving blue lights can be seen, rotating in sequence. While normally, Rashmi would keep from courting danger, or at the very least public unhappiness, by needlessly displaying her powers… It is in fact still Central Park at midnight, and these days, better safe than sorry. With fluffy green snow-coat, thick gray wool skirt and winter stockings, gators and light snow boots, the cold is well and truly beaten back… but even her favorite knit cap doesn't keep the chill off her neck, which is something that needs to ne gotten used to, now…
Much further down the path, a familiar series of moving blue lights can be seen, rotating in sequence. While normally, Rashmi would keep from courting danger, or at the very least public unhappiness, by needlessly displaying her powers… It is in fact still Central Park with sundown not far away, and these days, better safe than sorry. With fluffy green snow-coat, thick gray wool skirt and winter stockings, gators and light snow boots, the cold is well and truly beaten back… but even her favorite knit cap doesn't keep the chill off her neck, which is something that needs to ne gotten used to, now…
Theo isn't first tipped off by the spheres to Rashmi's presence. It's her phone that triggers her to know that she's near. It's a familiar signature being transmitted. He glances around, taking his eyes off of the tree. He doesn't see her at first, and moves back to the main path. That's when he spots the girl, and calls out to her. "Rashmi?" He gives a broad armed wave so that she can't miss him. Her spheres make her easy spot herself. He walks down along the path to meet her along the way. "I haven't seen you in forever, where've you been? I thought you went to Africa, but then you haven't been back to the school since everybody came back."
Rashmi's head snaps toward Theo as he calls out, eyes widening briefly — was that fear flickering over her face? — but an instant later she gives herself a shake, walking down the path toward Theo, a small, nervous smile on her face. "Yeah," she says quietly, "sorry… I just… needed to be with Mami and Papi awhile, make sure they knew I was all right… I haven't seen them all that much lately, even before Nigeria, so…"
Theo isn't known for his ability to read emotions well, but the unnatural demeanor from Rashmi does stand out. He can't see the back of her head, though, so he is unaware of the missing hair. "You okay?" he asks, nodding at the spheres circling. "You always do that when you're stressed out, but…you realize you're in the middle of Central Park, right?" The boy doesn't reach out for a hug or other physical contact, detecting that something isn't quite right. He doesn't know the story of what happened in Nigeria. He hasn't asked. Though he's heard that it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, no details have passed his ears.
Rashmi nods, the spheres widening to bring Theo within their perimeter. "Yeah, I know… but… It's going to be dark soon, and you know how the place gets…" Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, she attempts a smile. "Better safe than sorry, right…?" Her hand rises, an echo of her old nervous habit; pulling her braid over her shoulder to fiddle with, but after a brief pause she just scratches at the back of her neck.
The young technopath still looks unconvinced. "Miss 'everybody is really good' is worried about getting mugged?" Theo teases, clearly unaware of the severity of her condition. "Come on, this isn't like you." He didn't seem to at first register that she scratched the back of her neck. Lots of people do that. It's a heartbeat and a half before he suddenly realizes what the hand motion indicates. He reaches out suddenly to put a hand on her shoulder so that he can turn her to see the back of her neck. "Wait…"
Rashmi sighs heavily as Theo reaches out to take hold of her shoulder. Nodding to herself, she turns her head, pulling off the knit cap to reveal… Not very much, at all. Her hair has been cut short, snipped almost to the roots in what most would call a pixie cut. Rather a dramatic change, from the knee-brushing braid of a handful of weeks ago.
"You cut your hair?" Theo asks. "You always had it so long, I thought you'd never cut it in your life."
"I hadn't," Rashmi says, voice very nearly a whisper — And not a steady one, at that. "…But I didn't have a choice."
The gravity of the unknown strikes the dark-haired boy solidly. Whatever happened, it rocked the one girl he thought could weather anything. He stares into her eyes for a long moment, and then reaches up with his other hand to place it on her other shoulder, reaching to pull her into a hug. He doesn't offer any words, and he doesn't ask what happened.
The silent offer of comfort is gratefully accepted, the redhead's cheek pressing against Theo's neck, her arms wrapping about his shoulders and squeezing tightly, almost painfully so. While she doesn't quite cry, the short, fluttery gasps of breath show how close she is, no matter how many tears have already fallen since returning safe.
Theo holds the hindi girl, not speaking, and though the squeeze is rather tight, he doesn't object. He simply waits. His hand pets her back. He's never been good at encouragement through words, so he doesn't try to start now.
"Sorry," Rashmi murmurs after a moment. "Just… I'm not used to it yet. And… it's… probably going to be a long time before I am." Letting out a long, shaky breath, she squeezes the teen one more, letting her arms go slack; an out, if he wants to take it. "It was bad," she whispers. "It was really bad…"
Theo nods, and pulls back a little from the hug. Still, he stays close. "I heard it wasn't the trip everyone had hoped for," Theo says. Which is the extent of his knowledge on the matter. "But I've never seen you…" Well, the way she is now.
"That's one way of putting it," Rashmi murmurs, leaning her head back and digging a knuckle into the corner of her eye. "…Another way is… I think I understand you a lot better, Theo… And I'm *so sorry* you had to go through it…"
The rule. Don't ask people prying questions. Theo lives by it. He doesn't want people asking him, he doesn't ask them. His face pales as Rashmi says that she thinks she understands him better. Not a muscle seems to move as he regards the girl, "Rashmi…" he starts. He wants to break the rule, but while his horror and curiosity are piqued, he doesn't know if he wants to hear her answer the question if he dares to ask what happened.
Rashmi, who has made a minor hobby out of reading people for a good chunk of her teenage life, can hear the truth behind the silence, and nods slowly. "I wouldn't tell Mami or Papi," she says quietly. "Not all of it. I told Connor most of it… the worst parts, anyway… Because I needed someone to know. I can't promise I'll tell you everything, Theo… But if you want to know… it's okay to ask."
Theo's head tilts down, and pulls back, still regarding Rashmi in a rather horrified state of shock. He's silent for several seconds, glancing at the ground for a moment before looking back to Rashmi. "I don't want to know if you don't want to tell me," he finally states. "It's your business who you want to tell."
Rashmi manages a small smile, and shakes her head, the little bit of familiarity doing much to help her state of mind. "If I didn't want to say anything, all I'd have to do is say 'I don't want to talk about it,' right? Easy… C'mon," she says, nodding toward the bench and tugging her cap back on over her head. "You're probably going to want to sit down… I know I do."
Theo nods, and he slowly starts toward the park bench, feet scuffing along the ground, gathering snow as he walks through the grass to the bench. "Yeah, I think we should," he agrees. An arm reaches down to clear the snow from the bench, wiping it clear for them to settle on. He sits down patiently, as an old man might. He tries to avoid looking at Rashmi's lack of hair, but his eyes shift momentarily back at her neck before resting on her face again.
Rashmi reaches up to scratch the back of her neck again as she sits, her free hand bunching up into a fist. "…You'd think it wouldn't bother me," she says with a soft, hollow laugh. "I mean, it's just hair, right…? Anyway… where to start."
Theo doesn't join in the empty laughter, he's too preoccupied with the oncoming meat of the conversations subject to think about the light salad of introductory conversation. His hands shove into his coat pockets, a sorrowfully unamused look bearing his expression.
Rashmi nods to herself, clasping her hands on her lap. "…Well it started out okay… Hosea's village really needed the supplies and stuff, and for the first few days, it was…. nice. I've heard missionaries talk about doing charity work, and how rewarding it was… and it really was. You could see how much they needed the medicine and food and stuff… and just how happy it made them that people cared enough to bring it, you know…?"
"Yeah," Theo says, "My friend Kyle used to drag me to church to listen to the missionaries that would visit his church. They were always trying to get more money to buy stuff for the people in different parts of the world."
Rashmi nods. "But we already knew the kind of stuff they *needed,* and just went over there and delivered it. …Probably broke a couple dozen UN laws or something, but…" Rashmi's shoulder lifts. "It was nice. Being able to do something *real* and *good.* Everyone ought to feel that, at least once." There's a faint smile on her face, but disappears as she takes in a deep breath, steeling herself for the story ahead. "…Then Nero's soldiers came. He was a warlord… Wanted to be in control of the whole country. He'd been capturing people from all the villages around for soldiers… and wives… but he was especially looking for mutants. He wanted a whole mutant army."
"Wives?" Theo echoes. "Rashmi, please tell me he didn't…" he can't finish the sentence.
"No," Rashmi says. "No. He didn't. Probably he wanted to… but… He wanted to break me, first."
Theo grows quiet again, the word break ringing above the others. "So…he captured you?" he asks, though that much is obvious. He avoids saying much else, not wanting to interrupt Rashmi's story.
Rashmi nods once. "See… he'd attacked before, and took Travis — a friend from Barnes who wanted to come along. He likes to work with wood, so she thought he could help…." Shaking her head, she clears her throat. "…So Connor, Hosea and I tried to sneak into the camp and free him… and everyone else. ….It…. didn't happen that way. So yeah… they captured me too."
Theo scowls at the mention of Connor's name, unhappy that his Systema teacher allowed Rashmi to be caught. His posture visibly tenses, not liking the way the story is going.
"So yeah… They were holding me for… I don't know. A week, maybe. Probably more, but… It's really hard to tell one day from the next. It was cult brainwashing stuff… Making you do impossible, menial stuff, beating you when you don't manage it, until you're just desperate for them to be happy with you… only I never bothered. I did what I was told, but never tried to act like I could paint a whole house with one bucket, that kind of thing. I got beat a lot, at first… Then Nero came, and told me Travis was alive. And that I was his whipping girl, and whoops, Travis did twenty-eight things that pissed him off. So… twenty-eight lashes for the stubborn American girl…."
Theo swallows a lump in his throat, and pulls his right hand from his coat pocket, and reaches out to take Rashmi's. "Twenty-eight?" He shudders at the thought.
The strength with which the hand is taken and squeezed, very much at odds with Rashmi's quiet voice. "Twenty-eight," she says quietly. "And he couldn't take it… Travis. Couldn't take knowing that his resistance hurt me… but he didn't really get that I was okay with it. It was a war, Theo," she says with another laugh… but this one carries a trace of something ugly. "And I was winning. Every time he hit me… I won a little more. Every time his guards saw me dragged back to my little cell… I won more. If it hadn't been for what happened, who knows. His power came from fear, you know… the fact that he was a monster turning kids into monsters made it inevitable. Someone was going to see how weak he was… all I wanted to do was make it happen quicker, until we got rescued…"
Theo interlinks his fingers with Rashmi's, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Eventually we did get rescued… All of us. I guess Connor decided to call in some extra heavy guns, because Lucas and *Magneto* were part of the assault. And even then, it was close… See, it wasn't enough for Nero to catch mutants… he wanted to make his own. And I guess there was this scientist guy who knew how, because we all had dampener collars… and he'd made this machine that threw up a big dampener field thing over the whole camp."
"So how'd they rescue you?" Theo asks. Superheroes without superpowers against an army doesn't sound like a winning strategy.
"You know," Rashmi murmurs, "that's probably the funniest part. Just… this guy. Regular everyday person… well, except for the hockey mask and armor and guns, but no powers, nothing. He said he was tracking down these drugs coming into the city, trail led to Nero. So he lied his way into acting like a visiting scientist and was in the right place at the right time. Took out the generator powering the camp… and the field."
Theo arches his brow. "Sounds like Casey Jones," he comments. "Just walked up and shut it down just like that, huh?" he asks. "That's…weird."
"Not just like that," she says, "but I told you there were things I wasn't going to tell you… how bad it *really* was… that's one of them. But he'd made a mistake, you see… when the field went up, Nero turned my collar off. So when it went down…" Rashmi closes her eyes, shaking her head. "I was scared… scared and hurt and angry and *desperate,* and he'd taken away my clothes and beaten me and humiliated me and murdered people right in front of me and I just… In that moment… I wanted him to die, Theo. I wanted to *kill* him."
Theo doesn't meet Rashmi's eyes at that point, comprehending how she said she understood him better. "Did you?" he asks hesitantly, knowing the force that the girl can strike with using her spheres.
"Almost," Rashmi whispers, nodding slowly. "Almost. I guess it wasn't enough for him to *own* mutants, because he took all six at once. That was when the others showed up… Connor, Lucas, Travis and Hosea… Connor took me out of the fight, let the others take care of him. He's in custody, now… probably. Even if he's not, I guess Travis made it so there wouldn't be any more blood on his hands… Crippled them. With fire." Letting out a soft breath, she leans into Theo's shoulder, a tear rolling down her cheek. "…So when we got back… I just wanted to be with Mami and Papi. Spend some time where I didn't have to care about anything but being safe and warm and happy and fed and *clean,* oh God I missed being clean…"
Theo doesn't know the horrors that Rashmi went through, and tries not to imagine them in detail. He doesn't need to imagine the desire to kill the person who has done you wrong. "He may have lost," Theo observes, bringing his left hand up to hold Rashmi's head as he leans his own head against hers. "But it doesn't sound like you won, either. It sounds like he really did break you, just not in the way he intended."
"Cracked, maybe," comes the sad, falsely lighthearted reply. "I don't feel safe, anymore… not like I used to. Until we finally went home, I had to have someone around me… preferably Travis or Connor… or I'd start… wandering. In my mind. Now…" She gestures at the spheres, still orbiting them and the bench. "…They make me feel safe… and they make it so I don't think so much."
Theo frowns, "We were never safe, Rashmi." Not a lot of comfort in that statement, he addresses it. "I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, that eventually you feel safe again. You won't. We're all just a heartbeat from eternity. Now you've seen it, and you can't ever unsee it." He pauses, and gives a false laugh of his own. "I really suck at this."
Rashmi chuckles quietly. "No… you're probably right. I guess all that matters now is what you do with it, huh?" Looking up over the trees, she spends a moment to look at the steadily deeping clouds. "We could die tomorrow… sun'd still set. Rise again tomorrow. The world goes on. People do what people do."
"I'm sorry that the world isn't what you always hoped," Theo says. "I really am." Theo joins Rashmi's look at the clouds. "So what are you going to do with it?" he asks.
"That's easy," Rashmi responds. "Make it what I hoped. The only way I know how."
