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Summary: Nick isn't handling the attack well, Shane tries to get him out of his funk, Shane Style!
Date: May 17, 2012
Log Title: The Hurt Locker
Rating: R
Xavier Mansion - Observation Deck
Glass windows surround the circular room giving a full view of the school grounds. Two telescopes sit in front of the window for students to looks at the stars. A few comfortable chairs and couches with a few tables are placed up here for students to relax. There's a door off to one of the sides that leads up to the attic above here.
Nicholas doesn't turn around or respond to her 'hey', instead he just starts talking. "Is it always going to be like this? For the rest of our lives?" He asks quietly. "Having to deal with this crap?"
Somewhere off in the corner, there exists a Cale. The observation deck is usually pretty sunny so it's likely that he fell asleep up here. Or was just being really quiet. And not noticeable. Which, you know, is sort of his thing! As far as when it's wanted, anyway… He's a little like Taylor in that regard. In fact, he's a little like Tay in a lot of regards… At the sound of someone's voice, he sits up sleepily, noting his laptop having gone into sleep mode. He doesn't /say/ anything yet though, feeling rather awkward…
Nicholas doesn't turn around or respond to her 'hey', instead he just starts talking. "Is it always going to be like this? For the rest of our lives?" He asks quietly. "Having to deal with this crap?"
"Dunno," Shane grunts, leaning her hip against a nearby chair, crossing her arms. "Wrong one t'ask. 'S how it's been f'r me forever." Her eyes flick over to Cale, a moment taken to consider something, then she simply shrugs. "'S why I wanted t'do those classes. Figure out how t'live with it, 'f I don't gotta choice on havin' t'deal with it at all."
Cale quietly shuts his laptop with one of his toes, glancing over at Shane as he stretches, yawning somewhat loudly. After a short time, his skin seems to shift back to normal from its color matching the floor. "It might be… I don't know," he murmurs, trailing off. He doesn't appear to be his usual chipper self, though, after watching Taylor get shot in front of him and getting covered in her blood. He smiles halfheartedly.
Nicholas jumps slightly at Cale's voice but still doesn't turn. "I don't know if I can take it." He says quietly and a couple of seconds later he brings his hand up to slam it, palm first, on the window in anger. "No one did -anything- to bother them! Those anti-mutant groups…Fuck!" He snaps before turning around. "I couldn't take even watching it, all I saw was that night in my head and….damn it."
"Yeah," Shane says, clumping forward a few steps. "Know what y'mean. Pisses me off." Lifting her shoulder, she turns her gaze out the window, chewing on her lower lip. "…Dunno what t'tell you, Nick… Just… Shit like that's makin' me want real hard t'take that class. Cos I'm tired 'a bein' too scared t'stop shit like that from happenin' y'know…?"
"Nick…" Cale starts, trailing off. What can he say? There's totally nothing he could say. "I don't know," his voice trembles, "M-maybe that Dingo guy was right. Maybe y-you just have to fight fire with fire." He doesn't sounds like much likes that idea. "Though Xavier's is pretty safe…" he pauses, "What class is that?"
Leaning back against the window, Nick rubs his eyes with one hand. "Cale…believe me I would love to get the anti-mutant group that murdered my parents but…" He just shakes his head. "I just want things to be like they were, just…normal. I want to be able to sleep without constantly having nightmares."
Shane is silent for awhile, eyes flat, at Nick's statement. Without a word, she clumps toward one of the other windows, staring out at the lake in silence, arms crossed over her belly.
"Well, I don't know… I guess… my life's never really been /normal/ anyway so I'm not sure how you feel. But, I think I would rather have things how they were before also…" Though, Cale does really like it at Xavier's… So that would be a tradeoff. Not much of one for having his parents and sister back though…
Nicholas slumps down, sliding against the wall, until he's sitting on the floor then he can't hold it in anymore as the tears that he's fighting start to slide down his face. "I can't do this. It's too hard."
Shane closes her eyes, drawing in a long, deep breath. "…Don't gotta choice," she murmurs, touching her knuckles to the glass, then turning to face the other two. "Happened, Nick. Can't make it go away. All's you can do is try'n forget. 'Cept that don't work, either. Cos no matter what y'do, it'll still be there when y'wake up. Can't get drunk forever. High goes away. 'N then it's back, cept worse, cos y'thought you'd forgotten, an' it all hits you right back in the face. So now 'stead'a just tryin' t'make it go away, now y'gotta do somethin' about knowin' what's waiting for you when you wake up again. An' y'think what y'got *now's* hard?" Snorting, she clumps toward Nicholas, boots stomping loudly against the floor. "*Trust me,* Nick. There's all kinds 'a ways o' makin' it worse. 'N only *one* way t'make it better."
Cale bites his lip, "Yeah…" he trails off, rolling to his feet and meandering over towards Nick, where he plops down next to the other teen, back also to the wall. He lays a hand on Nick's shoulder, opening his mouth to say something and then just stops; letting it drop but then slumping against Nick's shoulder. "You don't have to take on everything yourself, anyway…"
"I can't forget Shane!" Nick snaps at her without meaning to. "Every night when I go to sleep I see it, all over again. Though last night I didn't only watch my parents die there were others there too and…it gets to be too much." He says wiping his face. "Problem is I'm not sleeping cause if I dream they're still alive, it hurts when I wake up, if I dream them dying, I wake up terrified, I have trouble sleeping almost every night and…where I know about the classes Shane, I can't just let people I care about die. I just…if I learned sooner I could have saved them."
"It *ain't your fault,*" Shane says, voice rising. "How the fuck were you even supposed to know! You were in a mutant kid's fucking *dream,* dude. Y'had friends, y'had powers that people thought were *cool,* an' nobody ever gave you any shit over it? God damn bacon jumping monkey Pilates *Christ,* Nick! YOUR WHOLE TOWN GOT SUCKERPUNCHED, there was *no* way you coulda stopped it any more'n I coulda kept those assholes from stomping me into the ground!"
Cale just sorta watches as Shane starts yelling. He doesn't have a whole lot to add… biting his lip again nervously. Shane is scary! "Yeah… there wasn't a ton we could do last night either… But, like I said, you /don't/ have to take it all on yourself."
"I know it's not my fault I just…wish I knew how to do more." Nicholas says. "Maybe I was in a mutant kids dream, but it didn't last. Cause us being mutants, are we going to be hated and hunted the rest of our lives?! Even if I do learn how to do more, when does it end? Do I get that dream again? Or do I have to throw out everything I want because some people decide that I shouldn't exist. I…" He starts breathing a bit more rapidly as he pauses his speach "I wish we didn't have to go through this."
"It *ends,*" Shane says, teeth gritted, "when we stop giving a shit. An' Iunno 'bout you, but th' only way I'll ever stop caring's if I know I can throw down right back. So Iunno 'bout you, but I'm'a go ahead 'n get m'self just pissed off enough I don't care whether or not takin' a class'll get me a broke arm. Cos that's the only fucking thing that's ever managed t'work for me; bein' too mad t'be scared."
"What class is it?" Cale asks again, frowning slightly. He wants to take a class like that! "I guess I just get scared, not mad. I mean, I get mad, but… not like that…" he sighs, shaking his head.
"I just want to make sure I don't lose anyone again. I want the feeling like a vice is squeezing my chest when I think about them. I just want to be able to protect you all." Nicholas says running both hands through his hair before resting them at the back of his head. "I get mad where I just snap and I can't control my temper, least I'm okay at not snapping physically. I don't like hurting people physically." He says before finally answering Cale's question. "Advance combat class or something to help with physical defense and powers and stuff."
Shane draws in a breath, scrubbing at her eyes for a moment with the back of her hand. "…Yeah. Aight then." Clearing her throat, she stomps up to Nick's side, chucking his shoulder lightly. Looking voer her shoulder, she nods. "Talked t'Nick 'bout it after he got stabbed. Figured 'd be a good idea f'both'f us, y'know?"
"Yeah? I dunno… I don't… well, Amy always did the fighting… but, maybe I should take some lessons or something. Is it something you have to take after other stuff?" Because Cale is really pretty clueless about how to fight. The times that he's done it so far it's basically just been grabbing things with his tongue and throwing them…
"I'm sorry, I wish I wasn't such a downer all the time." Nicholas says but he really has no clue how to climb out of his depression. "I don't know how it works was just gonna figure it out with Shane. Maybe instead of just watching everyone around me get killed, kidnapped or hurt I'll be able to do something. I…I can't lose anyone else."
"Nick, you ain't no more'f a downer'n I am. I just act like too much of a bitch to make people care, 's all." Rapping her shoulders against Nick's shoulder once more, she turns to head toward the elevator, nodding in Cale's direction. "'S elective. Means y'c'n just ask t'sign up, drop out when y'like. Don't got a lotta required classes this year, so, figure may's well do somethin' I can use."
"Oh… well, maybe I could sign up with you guys then, I don't know…" Cale trails off; clearly he has misgivings about himself fighting, but if it would make Nick feel better, then he's definitely wanting to get involved! "Like I said, I'm not much good in a fight, but I guess everyone can benefit from learning self defense…" Maybe it'll even make him more confident.
Nicholas pushes a shoulder back against Shane before he stands up and looks over to Cale. "I'm should grab something to eat, it's going to be another long night. I'll let you know what's up with the class, but I think it's more than just self defense." He says as follows after Shane. "I'm gonna follow you down, I'm gonna grab a juice and PB and J before heading to the dorms. I'll see you later Cale."
"Later," Cale waves at the two of them, before stretching back out on the floor in the sunlight. Mmm. Warm sunlight. Once the two are gone, he snacks his laptop with his tongue, dragging it over, then wiping the little bit of slime on it off with his tongue.
