Players:
Summary: Jono takes Connor out for coffee.
Date: 05-05-2010
Log Title The magic of caffeine
Rating: Log Rating.
Xavier's Courtyard and then the Grind Stone
It's kind of overcast today, but that hasn't stopped Jonothon from being out here with his motorcycle. He's been refurbishing and rebuilding the thing for months now. Today he felt that he'd actually finished. So the Brit is near the garages as he wheels a 1969 Harley out of one of them. It's black of course, but has gold trim. Looks far and improved from what it was when he rode it here originally, but then being a TK such as he is allows for cheating. The thing looks brand new. Who knows how long such things will last around here, but no biggie, he'll build it again.
Leaves it parked for a moment while he heads back inside to grab some things he left on a workbench. Not to mention clean up a smidge. There's not much, but he doesn't want mess left for others to pick up.
Having taken the long way around the school for a mid-day jog during his free period, Connor is dressed down to his usual hooded top and track pants… the sound of his feet padding evenly on the concrete followed by the steady in and out breaths taken as he makes his way along the path from the quad and along the side of the house. This carries him past the garage… and to stop with a bit if curiousity at the new vehicle sitting out. Slowing his pace down to a walk, the student comes over to take a look at the classic road hog, whistling to himself as he doesn't even move to touch… just squatting a moment while he catches his breath.
«Heh. It won't break.» Comes an amused, British voice, granting you permission to touch. «There's pretty much nothing original on it by this point anyway.» Beyond the frame perhaps. That's the kind of thing that happens when it gets other mutants dropped on it a time too many. Jonothon emerges from the garage as he speaks, tucking cell phone into a pocket of his coat. In his other hand dangles a helmet colored the same as the bike. The man is sporting a good bruise over his jawline, but seems in a decent enough mood. «How is, mate? Didn't interrupt your run, did I?»
Connor looks up and around for a moment, not spotting Jono at first, but then finally settling as he sees the familiar face connected to the mental voice, "Oh.. this is yours?" Nodding once to himself and then shaking his head, "I was just on cooldown… a quick run to help clear my head a bit." The tone sounding a bit dull about it before he then taps the approximate spot where the bruise is, "What happened?"
A nod about it being his, «Yeah. Just finished it today.» Well, finished the rebuild after the rebuild. Stupid Sinister. «Is it helping?» Jonothon asks as he lays the helmet on the seat of the bike, for he's been concerned since Connor asked him to keep a mental eye out. The motion to face has him blinking in confusion. What? Oh! A smile spreads as he lifts a hand to touch that spot. «Training. Got a teacher who can handle the levels I work at. Problem is he's a lousy temper.» Still, the Brit sounds amused at it. «Was too tired to heal it last night, then forgot.» Shrugs at that.
Connor blinks a few more times at your words, and then tilts his head to the other side, "About time then… a teacher shouldn't be afraid to give a few lumps to make a lesson drive home… any more than a student shouldn't expect to be coddled." Giving a shrug and a smile after that before saying, "Not really… but it's better than sitting in my room trying to figure out how to make nice with my roommate."
Jonothon gives Connor a look for that one. «What a line of bollocks.» Still, there's amusement laced within. «What do you mean about time? Christ. You kids are getting weirder and weirder as the days pass.» A roll of eyes about the teaching line. «Trust me, Scott doesn't hold back.» Not that Scott is the teacher he meant, but Jono gets bruised and worse during Cyclops daily X-men sessions. He's not ignoring the roommate issue though. A tilt of the head as he digs keys out of his jeans pocket. «What's going on?»
Connor frowns a bit and crosses his arms as he walks around the bike, "Last time I talked to you, you'd said you'd been avoiding training your own abilities, Jonothon…" Still using the full name, in a tone of politeness that doesn't seem to be anything but respectful, "And now I hear you are… like I said… about time." On the subject of his roommate, he then replies, "He's surly, I blew up… we haven't talked, but I told him if he can't handle being around me, I'll talk to the staff, and get him his own room, or another roommate… and I'll take the blame for it. I'm the one with the disorder after all."
«Sometimes it's hard to find a teacher.» He had been avoiding things, until he stumbled over someone who had the knowledge, means, and desire to teach him. Jonothon says this wearily, not even trying to deny what he'd said before. It's true. He picks up the helmet with that and swings a leg over the bike. His weight makes the thing shift, and leather to creak. After that the man listens, remaining quiet with a helmet in his lap. «Must be pretty bloody bad to be an arse to me today.» Said with an understanding smile. «If he's making your skin crawl, ask to switch. There's nothing wrong in asking.» Waiting until someone gets hurt, now that'd be wrong.
Connor makes a bit of a face, "How I am being cross with you? You asked, I answered… I know I have a problem, and I'm trying to address it… but at the same time… he all but got in my face from the get-go. I might have been a litle belligerent… but I've never had to share my personal space with someone before… I'm not used to it… and I don't know if he can understand what happens around me. The last thing I want is to stress-fit and get caught cleaning his half of the room too. Seriously… you've seen how bad it is. The music room never looked so nice." Smiling after with a slight sense of humor about it, "Hey… at least I know if I'm ever troubled, the janitorial staff would love me."
Jonothon gives Connor a look. «I was teasing you, mate.» The tones Connor is using are a little strange to be sure, but geez. «You are totally strung out, aren't you? There anything I can do to help?» Not that his helping seems to do anything of the sort lately. «That's why I think you should ask for another room, Connor. Or to have him move. Want me to ask for you?» Certainly has no trouble trying to help out like that. «The worst they do is tell me no.» Until poor Connor flies off the handle and hurts someone over it anyway.
Connor pushes his hands into his pockets, eyes flicking back and forth for several moments, "Strung out? No… self-medicating.. yes. Caffiene helps focus me, calm me down… weird considering it makes others jittery. But I've been ignoring things I should have the presence of mind to manage or ask for help. And I -AM- getting help. I have an appointment coming up with Dr. Mayfair-Parker… he's going to powershare… maybe help see where things go weird." As he sighs, a slightly, a slightly dark look crosses him, as he then says a bit more softly, "I haven't been taking responsibility. I can blame my gift all I want, I can blame stress, I can blame other people… but end of the day… my head's my business. And I have to be strong enough to know what I can do… and know where I need help."
Connor smiles back up at Jono, and then says, "Allright… strung out? Try COMPLETELY…"
The smile he gives says he totally understands. With that he holds out the helmet to Connor. «You and me both, mate.» Jonothon doesn't mean to make light of Connor's issues at all, for he understands so very well even if the details aren't the same. «You're a bloody smart kid, Connor. Took me eight years to come to that realization and do something about it.» Motions to that bruise in way of explaining. «Want to get some coffee? Don't be too hard on yourself either, mate. I know it's hard on all sides, and finding balance makes you want to break things, but even as you take responsibility also realize that you are new to your power. It's going to throw curve balls at you when you aren't looking. At the end of the day, it really is okay to be human.» Jono's smile is earnest. Doesn't often smile like that. «We can make mistakes.»
The word coffee seems to brighten him up quite a bit, as Connor replies, "Coffee.. definately… though… you don't drink. So does that mean I'm drinking for two?" A small smirk added to thing before he then says, "By the way… what happened with you that one time… it happened again, this time with Robyn… it's like… a telepath amplifies it or something… I can't really explain…"
Jonothon shrugs about coffee for two. «You can double-fisted drink espresso as far as I'm concerned. Put your helmet and get on.» No, he's not wearing one, but then he doesn't really have to. Key to ignition and the bike rumbles to life. «Mind a mindlink? We can continue talking on the road that way.» No biggie if Connor doesn't, Jono is willing to wait. «..The whispering?» Asked with a curious frown. «Huh. Tell me about it while I drive? We can work on that if you want, see if I can figure anything else. Willing, but not sure I'd get much. Still new to telepathy.» Very, very new, even if he's had it for like fourteen years now. «Now though.. coffee.» Something less stressful.
Connor picks up the helmet proffered and secures it in place, before getting on the back of the bike behind Jono, and then for that forever uncomfortable moment, looks for a spot to settle his hands, "Sorry… first time riding on a bike… let alone on the back of one…" Once he's finally settled, he says, "You can try… I just don't know what it'll be like for you in there… and we can talk more once we get someplace with some decent brew…"
«Heh.» Poor Connor. «Just put your arms around me. We'll be fine.» Jonothon so isn't worried about it. «As uncomfortable as it may be, it beats hitting a bump and having you go flying.» A look over a shoulder, eyes filled with laughter. And with permission he forms a light link. Just enough to allow conversation. «Trust me.. your head can't be the worst I've been in.» And with that note he takes off. Nothing fancy, and no going over the speed limit. Jono's just enjoying the ride, and shares that. Albeit unintentionally. «Oh, I did mention your trouble to McCoy. No idea if he'd talked to you yet.»
Once his hands are secure on your waist, he shifts himself to balance a bit more comfortably on the back of the seat. He tries to speak for a moment, but the air rushing by makes it a bit hard. So instead he tries to focus his thoughts. Even with the light link… there is a constant sense of background chatter in his mind… most of it whispers… a hushed monologue in the back of his head that he somehow dims when you hear him think, his mental voice matching his own, «Thanks… as much as I like and respect Doctor McCoy… for some reason I just can't talk to him about it. He's my mentor here, I know… but I feel like I've got a big expectation there. Because of him I'm taking classes I never considered back home. Physics and advanced mathematics… and I've started back up with music again. I know it's completely stupid… but I feel like going to him with a problem would be letting him down. He's the type who would do everything he could to solve it first before asking for help.»
While Jonothon is paying more attention to the road then the link, he does have to wonder at it. Is Connor telepathic too? It really sounds like it. Nothing is said about this though, for he's soon listening to Connor's words. «That's not stupid at all.» About the not being comfortable in asking Hank for help. «Sounds like he's your hero.» Said with some approval. «I'm totally not one to talk about not asking for help though.» A smirk there. Yeah, Jono's a right idiot about it. «The thing about asking him for help is that disappointment isn't what he'd feel, mate. It'd make him feel good to be asked, because that means you trust him enough to do so.»
Connor closes his eyes and looks to the side while he continues to ride, the feelings coming through from you giving him a bit of a sense of joy from it too, «I read up on him online. I mean… look at him. Even with the physical changes that happened to him… he's never let it get him down. He's possibly smarter than anyone I've ever met… but I think more of it is… he's got this aura around him that just infects you after a while. You can't help but smile. I suppose I should talk to him… I think he knows I've been having problems after the Danger Room sessions, Jonothon/Mr. Starsmore/Sir… *Those three thought-said at the same time* But it's because I've been using my gift… pushing myself… it's so easy in there. I can let everything else go, and let my instincts and my body guide me.»
«I want to strangle him most days.» Said fondly of Hank. It's that Jonothon can't see the positive side of things all that often and it annoys that Hank always does. Annoys being the worst of it. Hank's a great guy. «Connor.. if *I* can tell you're having trouble that means Hank knows.» So yes, talk to Hank! After that there's a little pause, Jono eyes on the road. «So you're having trouble only after practice? Am I reading this right?» The Brit doesn't mention the multiple names for he knows people new to telepathy can't stop themselves from sending things they don't intend. That takes practice.
From what you can catch… respect seems to be ingrained… and it's almost like a filing system in his head… facts seem to come before names, respect before casualness. When he does think to respond, it comes out in what speech-wise would be a jumble, «Systema training tells me how to respond to situations, perceptively gauging threats and issues, and letting my brain process it all while my body goes into motion. I don't think… I just know. It's not perfect, but when I am in the Danger Room, or something is happening where my instincts understand and know… they go first. It was how I was taught. But the more I teleport, or I use my defensive of offensive abilities Jonothon/Mr. Starsmore/Sir, those whispers in the back of my mind become more prevalent.» Suddenly for no reason you hear him cataloging his schoolwork for the day, scheduling himself, rescheduling suddenly worrying about not having enough time for homework. It goes out of control for several seconds as stray thoughts start g
Stray thoughts begin going all over the place… but then it stops as you feel him begin breathing in and out steadily, through the nose, out the mouth, and in his mind, he's thinking in Russian… it sounds like an orthodox prayer of some type…
Jonothon remains quiet as Connor explains, and he continues with that quiet as the teen puts things back in order. As painful as that process may be. He's almost not there in Connor's thoughts, and yet at the same time he's incredibly grounded. A spot that doesn't change in all the mayhem. «Makes me wish I knew telepathy more.» Said only after Connor has calmed down some. «It sounds like you're a telepath too, only I can't be sure. What you hear is nearly exactly what I do when I drop shields. Maybe teaching you shielding will help. That I may be able to do if one of the others can't.» For his blocking out the voices is very well done. «Just keep it together, mate. There's really something going on. You aren't imagining anything. We're also here. Sounds like you could use that coffee.» Not quite there, but you've reached Salem.
Before he can stop himself, the name of the coffee house, the address, and the menu listings, including some details of one of the clothing and features the barista who served him that day was wearing… you could literally capture a picture from his mind of the entire room with a detail of clarity, filtered almost through somrthing like what a spy would have as their own threat-response reflex. Once more Connot brings it all back into focus, and all he can say in reply is «This is what it's like for me… I can't focus, or I hyperfocus on everything… and I have that background noise. It's been louder since Christmas time… and even louder since I started actively using my abilities.»
While he doesn't have the same issues, Jonothon is sympathetic of what's going on in Connor's head, and doesn't call attention to it. This is a big reason why Jono hates his telepathy, and why he closed himself off so completely for so long. Not because Connor has issues, but because Jono couldn't deal with how many issues he was forced to deal with at the age of twelve. By the time he was fourteen he couldn't handle it anymore. «The background noise I might be able to help with. Can't promise about it though. What I know how to do might be entirely unrelated to what's going on. You want to try sometime?» And he doesn't mean now.
Connor actually says as you pull in to park, "Anything." In his head, the cars out front are counted, the license plates are checked, make and model… he continues to catalog details that are completely irrelevant to being here… including that there's handprints on the glass door of the place, how many can be made out. Eventually he stops himself by stopping and beginning that same breathing exercise. Using a basic biofeedback exercise… he calms down once more, and the running fact-commentary fades back again, "Yeah… coffee would be good right about now."
As the cycle is stopped, and his foot placed on the ground to one side, Jonothon looks back as the engine stops. «Sorry, mate.» He didn't mean to make things worse. At least he assumes he has. If this is normal.. wow. «Let's go get you some. I'm buying.» Does touch the helmet though, if that hasn't already been removed. Cycle is propped up, keys tucked in pocket as he waits for Connor to get off. The mind link is gently let go, hoping that this helps. No more stranger in head to unbalance things further.
Connor slips off the bike, and removes the helmet, closing his eyes and opening them once more, "No… it's not your fault… this is how my mind works… I get focused on the what without remembering the why. What is the place… but I'm here to get coffee…" Smiling a bit as he rests the helmet on the back, "I'm functional… there are people who have it worse… but I'm only functional because I know the signs, and have the ability to control it to a degree. But my mind likes order, because having things nice and neat made my parents happy. So I started cleaning… and when I'm cleaning, or when I'm doing something where I can let my conscious mind go… it's not so bad anymore."
«And now I'm glad I told you no.» Said with a rueful smile as Jonothon seeks to grip Connor's shoulder. «I'd have been no help at all.» Taking the helmet, he tucks it under an arm and motions to the shop. «Looks to me as though you're doing a good job with a lousy situation.» Then again he really doesn't know minds in detail. Reaffirms that Hank so totally needs to be talked to. There has to be a way to help. Inside he sets the helmet at a table to claim it and nods to the counter. Go order.
Westchester - Grind Stone
The Grind Stone is a quaint little coffee shop with tables surrounded by various shape chares and even a few couches with coffee tables. Baristas in yellow aprons are ready to take anyone's order from a latte to a hot chocolate to one of their many specialty drinks.
Connor approaches and orders a nightmare combination of four shots of espresso in a mocha with caramel and no whip creme to cool or thin it out, along with a blueberry cream cheese muffin from under the counter. Looking back at you, he smiles once more and then replies, "Thank you for your honesty at least, then… So… how's things being a mentor with the group you have? If you don't mind my asking… I know one of my problems is I get selfish. It's not just me in the room, and I should respect that."
Jonothon eyes Connor for the combo, but still pays for it without saying anything. Kid wants to drink that concoction he can have it. Money is passed to the Barista, and change collected before the Brit heads to the table. In as much as he's asked if he wants anything, he shakes his head no. Sorry, nothing for him. «Mate, the last thing I want to do is make your head worse, and that's what I'd do.» Privately that one. No one else needs this conversation.
Settling into a chair at the table, the Brit folds his arms over the helmet and rests there. «Not good.» Said sadly. «I shouldn't go into it though. Honestly you've probably heard more about then I know. Not like anyone trusts me with things.» All he can do is shrug about that.
Moving to sit across from Jono, Connor sighs in relief once he's able to take his drink and get a few sips into him, a momentary droplet down the side caught with a napkin, followed by the lip, "Why do you think that? I mean… the trust issue… because I think you're trustworthy. You're honest enough to tell me when you know you can't do something… but you also trust me enough to make my own judgements… even if I'll screw up… that might even be the point, right?"
«Heh.» Dark eyes settle on Connor as the man smiles ruefully once more. «It's because you've never seen how I used to be. I was worse than Lucas in a lot of ways. Drove everyone away, bottled my powers and didn't bother to learn much. Made a slew of mistakes that I've been forgiven for, but none of the adults have forgotten. I'm trying hard to do things better, but my past is always there in their thoughts.» Jonothon shrugs again, not knowing any other way to fix it beyond time, and he's not doing the best of jobs even so. «And yeah, the point. I can give advice all day long, but you won't understand until you make the mistakes for yourself. Unless I think it'd get you badly hurt.»
Connor takes another sip as he says thoughtfully, "So… are you being like them? The adults you mention… I assume you mean the senior Xavier staff. I know that James and Lucas have had some bad things going on… I met James on the tail of all of that… and Lucas… well… he's still trying to come to terms with a lot. Rashmi tries to support them both… and be the one in charge. Tara comes off like everyone's kid sister… which is cool, but at the same time… sometimes I think she does it for the same reasons we do what we do… to keep the distance." Shrugging once more as the mug remains close to his lips, "It sounds like you've got a lot to teach them all… once they can learn how to listen. I mean… we are still teens. There's all that youthful rebellion and angst we like to roll in all day long." The last said with slightly merry eyes.
Putting an elbow on the table, Jonothon props cheek in hand. «I am so not giving you details, Connor. Bad enough I'm talking about this at all.» If he tells the whole school will know about it. That's the way of kids. «The problem comes in that I think of them all only Rashmi wants to listen. Which is exactly that rebellion and angst.» He rolls his eyes about it. Doesn't even know that James convinced the team to kick him off it, for all that's not going to happen now. «None of them care that I've been going through the same trouble. Wasn't a demon, but eh.» What can he do?
About half the coffee in his mug is gone before he finally says, "I don't talk about other people's problems. If I did… it would betray those trusts. Someone tells me a secret… and I'll keep it, unless it's something I think is bad enough that I need to tell one of the security or staff. It's the only way I can honor the trust placed in me. But you didn't answer my question… are you being like the adults who you think judge you for what's happened to you?"
Jonothon nods at the question, «I don't doubt I am.» At least as far as James is concerned. «But it's not that I think they judge. It's that I know.» He smirks about that. «Nor do I mean all of them. Just a couple, but lately several things I've done to help have been purposely undone by those two. People nearly died for it too, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change things.» Another of those shrugs. «The squad will work out, for they have Kenta, but things have been rocky. I keep getting told contradictory things, then smacked when I attempt to follow advice. So I'm going to step back and let them handle themselves a while. Thinking of moving out of the school. Nothing far, here in Salem, but I need the space.»
Connor frowns softly, and then shrugs once before he returns to his drink a moment, "I know it's not for me to say… but… I mean… I think it sounds more like you should go back to just being a student, instead of trying to be a teacher. Sure… you've got a lot to offer, but you said yourself… you've got a lot to learn. You sound… resentful… and resigned. Like you know how this all is going to play out. You might, but again… you might not. I don't know… because I'm seeing everything from the side… and friends are involved on either end. But coming from this viewpoint… why not just step back? My uncle Yuri said there's nothing wrong with strategic withdrawal."
«But I'm not a teacher.» Jonothon motions with a hand. «I just help out with one Squad. That's it.» Not a teacher and not planning on being one. «I'm not on the list of professors and I've never said I was. I am resigned, because this isn't the first time it's happened. I'm doing things differently this time to see how things unfold. That's why I'm not leaving the team. It's why I'm not leaving the school. I've done that. Repeatedly. It doesn't help.» Jono shakes his head, so very resigned indeed. «That's why I've found a teacher. It's why I'm actually working at my powers. I'm going to break this cycle.» Of course that doesn't mean he'll be happy once it's done, but he's not happy now.
Connor downs a large portion of his drink, and then sighs, actually looking relaxed finally, closer to what was seen on the first day. Reaching for the muffin, he eats away at the edges, catching the crumbs before settling it back down, "Would it be allright to give you a piece of advice that was given to me? Not that you have to follow…"
Jonothon shrugs yet again, one hand idly on the helmet even as he leans with cheek in the other hand. «Sure.» Odds are he won't follow it, but there's no point in not listening. Especially if giving his advice will help Connor.
Connor looks down and into the dregs of his cup for a moment, pondering things before he finally says to you, "Accepting a problem doesn't mean you understand it. It just means you acknowledge it's there. Understanding a problem means you comprehend how it's affecting you… and the people around you. For the last couple years, and my first few days here… I was only accepting my problem… and letting it rule over me. It's only until I sat back and understood what everyone else has been telling me did I really start to understand my problem. My problem is that I never trusted myself… I always let others do what needed to be done to define me. Now… I have to trust myself too… and that's hard, because I don't know if I like me all that much. Does that make sense?"
And as surprising as it may be, Jonothon listens. «Makes a lot of sense.» For he doesn't trust himself either. «It's why I'm training. I'm trying to trust myself.» No denials here, even if he doesn't say it in so many words that he doesn't trust himself. «I think the biggest problem I have with all this squad trouble is that by the time I was willing to listen, no one would let me know what the other side of the problem was.» He pauses and rubs at his face a little. «Which yes, that means I totally bollocked things up. I know I did. Now that I'm listening, no one is talking. I'm in the dark. That's why I'm going to sit back and see what unfolds. Don't know if people will trust me ever again, but running away won't help.»
The surprising sageness culminates with him standing up, "Then say you're sorry. Nothing says you can't admit you messed up. Might even help them too. Be right back…" Taking his cup to the counter, he gets a drip refill, and pays with a debit card of his own… returning after adding enough honey that it could tickle even your non-existent throat…
Jonothon spreads his hands helplessly, «I did!» Say he was sorry. Just leans back in his chair as Connor gets another drink. «I did apologize. Probably four times in one run-on sentence even.» Any wonder he's so resigned now? «I don't think it will be enough, for I can't change things when I don't know what they feel is wrong. That's where it catches me. I don't want to make things worse by assuming again, and assuming wrong. So maybe some patience will work. That's what I'm hoping.. that if I wait I'll learn what the real problem behind it was.» For Jono knows how he felt, but when he asked for James to explain, Kenta stopped it. He also agreed to let it go, albeit grudgingly, so another reason to sit and wait.
Connor moves back to and sits down in his spot, unzipping the hooded top, and letting it rest back a bit as he slurps at the coffee, making a bit of a face, and adding a touch more milk to it before finally getting it to the point that he likes it, "You know… this is kinda cool… you talking to me. And… maybe understanding a little of what I go through a bit better than the others. If you think it might help me learning that mental shield thing… I'm all for it. Couldn't hurt to know either… Might even be better for me than coffee and Coca Cola." The last once more said with a chuckle.
«If there's someone who's been bollocked by their powers I'm one of them.» He rolls his eyes and smirks at himself. So yeah, Jonothon understands a lot better then most. «I don't think a mental shield will make everything better.» The man points out. «Think of it more as an experiment to narrow down the causes of things. Namely that whispering. If you can learn to shield your mind it might stop that. One less thing for you to have to struggle with. Shields also might allow a form of focus for you. Each person does their shields differently, but it could even be as simple as you 'cleaning' the voices out of the way. Not sure if this is a good idea, for it might make you focus on cleaning more, but it sure would let you relax.»
Connor shrugs once more, "I've learned all sorts of things to help… memes, breathing exercises… even tried meditation, but I can't sit still for every long… I'm sure people have noticed I move around a lot. Like Chloe does sometimes." Once more into the drink, down the hatch goes at least a third of the rich brown, and sweetened drink, "But it couldn't hurt I think… I clean when I'm stressed, and I can't manage the stuff going on in my head. It's something to do with ritualized behavior. I clean a place, I clean my head at the same time… but I keep cleaning until one or the other is done… I know it doesn't make sense to talk it out, but this is the brain we're talking about, right?"
Jonothon shakes his head and smiles, «It doesn't have to make sense to me, so long as you get it.» For to fully understand he'd end up just as off kilter. Jono's not skilled enough to help without being hurt in the process. «And I'm not talking about meditation. You can walk around all you want as we try. The whole point is to learn how as you act normal anyway. Really, I'm not sure it will even help. We need to talk to Hank about this. If we can find the whys, you might even be able to solve the problem on your own.»
After several more moments, and another half mug of joe, Connor replies, "Allright then… sounds like I need to have a long talk with Doctor McCoy anyways… I should have done that sooner. So.. looks like I get to start with I'm sorry and work my way up… heh…" Exhaling through his nose, he closes his eyes, and drums his fingers on the table for a few more moments, "Thanks for bringing me down. I only found out about this place a couple days ago… until then I was hoarding my own caffiene in the back of the fridge and dosing myself for morning classes." Tapping the side of his cup, he then adds, "Caffiene… it's cheaper and sometimes safer than some of those prescriptions they give you. I had a bad reaction to Adderal."
Not like the Brit has to deal with Connor being hyped up on caffeine, so he's not worried about it. «Want me to talk to him first?» Jonothon offers, for he is going to ask about Connor switching rooms. «Or just be there while you do talk?» Just wants to help. About the meds though he rolls his eyes. «Reminds me of when I was a kid. They thought I was crazy and doped me up on all kicks of things. None of which helped. ..That does remind me. You should ask Hank about your medication. He can tailor things to your system. He's a geneticist.» At least Jono thinks that's one of Hank's titles.
Connor blinks a few times, "That's just it… I haven't needed drugs for a while… and the ones I took never really helped much, other than make me even more… well… flat. I suppose I should just let the Doctors here really look at me and see what's up… but I was worried if I did, they'd just cart me off to see another psychologist or something… I'd go back to being Crazy Kid again." A nod of brotherhood from him to the older man, "I think I'd like to talk to him alone… at least for my part. The important part… but maybe you should talk to my new roommate before anything's done? So you have both sides before going to the staff?"
Jonothon nods about the drugs. «See, Hank won't recommend anything that'd turn off your head, or make things go flat. So if there's a way to be as normal as possible he's going to find a way. And I mean normal for you, not some whack's idea of such.» The Brit has a lot of faith in Hank. He also doesn't press the roommate issue. «Sure. I'm not interested in making him the badguy. I don't even know who it is yet, but I can find out. I can see how it affects you though. Arrangements have been made to honor other student's needs, so I'll see what I can do about yours.»
It takes a long moment before he finally says… barely a murmur, "…thanks…" And then Connor looks up at you, with a bit of smile, "And if there's anything I can do to help you… even if it's a small thing… lemme know? I'd rather you think you can trust me to help too. We're all students here, even if we're teachers. Doctor McCoy would be the first one to say something like that."
«I should be thanking you.» Jonothon rolls his eyes for it all. He actually got to voice this with someone who didn't just tell him he was wrong at every turn. «And you're welcome. You want to go back now?» For it does seem that Connor is feeling better. Doesn't answer about Connor helping in return though, but that's only because Jono feels he told another student too much already. He really should keep an emotional distance from the kids, but it never works that way.
Connor downs the rest of the coffee with a long slurp, and then sighs once, finishing off the muffin, ending it all by cleaning the table of crumbs and a droplet that escaped him, "I can get back on my own if you wanted to just ride… it seems like you still need some air. And I promise… even though a lot of the Paragons are friends… this is just between you and me. But…" And he looks out at the bike, "Looks like fun to ride. Never was much for that kind of thing… I bussed everywhere… but I did learn how to drive. Mostly."
«I don't mind giving you a lift.» Really, Jonothon doesn't. Rising to his feet, he takes the helmet to let you finish cleaning the table. «Going to trust you about that, mate.» The not telling people. That's all he says about it, as he's smirking a little about bussing everywhere. «Connor, I'm British. If I still lived in London I'd probably never drive. It's like some secret pleasure you know you shouldn't be doing.» For all he's legal here in the US. «Bussing what was what you did.» If you didn't have the cash for a cab. «Coming, or teleporting?» Either way he'll head outside to his bike.
Connor looks back over at the bike again, and then at Jono before saying, "Coming… more fun than just popping to the place… even if it's good exercise." And with that he neatly tosses his garbage, gets his mug to the counter, and even leaves a tip in the cheesy yellow cup before following you outside, "You want bad, go to Seattle… bike messengers seem to think they've got the right of way everywhere… and once a month they get together and clog the streets to celebrate that right… It's nuts. But yeah… it's easier just to bus around there… parking is a nightmare unless you want to pay out the nose… or you've got a company parking spot you can abuse."
Riding a Harley is a lot more fun than teleporting. Then again Jonothon's only teleported in combat conditions, and he's never enjoyed it. Holding the door for Connor he motions a Heh, even if he doesn't send the mental thought. «Yeah, can't say London was any better.» Parking wise, or weirdness. «Eh, home is home though, right?» A bit of a grin there as he straddles the bike and gets the engine running. Also hands over that helmet again. «You feeling a little better?»
Connor secures the helmet, and settles on the back once more, zipping up his hooded sweater, as he replies, "A bit… and you?" Is about all he says as he finds his grip on your sides and takes a long breath before settling himself fully for the ride.
«Yeah.» Not easy to admit, but he does. «Helped to say it. Even if I was bloody vague.» Jonothon got a few things settled in his head. «Thanks. You ever try and tell someone something and get back that everything you think and feel is wrong? Left me confused. I think I've got it sorted now.» So yeah, it helped a lot. «Still think I need an apartment off campus though.» He's smiling for that though. Somewhere his closet can't quite so easily be rifled through, much less his music collection.
As you begin to pull out and head up to road, Connor replies, "Just don't make it TOO well-known… you don't want to become that guy we all hang out with after school… image and all… Or the place your fellow mentors come to hide from us." Patting your side in comfort before he returns to a steady grip, "Might want to consider taking a trip too sometime… I mean… this is a sweet-looking bike, and there's miles of road out there that get travelled by people just… looking for something."
There's mental laughter for that. «Christ.. like that would happen.» People come over and hang at his house? So not likely. «Mentors can go sit with Parker-Mayfair.» Jonothon's smiling as he sets the bike on the road back to the school. «No, a road trip isn't what I want. Took me three months to walk here come January, Connor, after I remembered truly who I was. Not interested in seeing the country side quite yet.» And that's more than he's told a lot of people.
Whether it's deliberate or not… he replies softly, "January…? I had some of my first blackouts and teleports around then…" Shaking his head and tending up a bit, Connor suddenly goes silent on the topic, turning his head to watch the world go by…
Jonothon can't look back at Connor for obvious reasons, but he's still very aware of the teen's trailing off. «It's not related, I promise.» His trouble is his own. «Don't stress over it, mate. You're where you can learn now.» There are no doubts to the mental voice either. After that the Brit allows Connor to merely enjoy the ride.
