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Summary: In the Medbay, Dallas, Mikhail, Rashmi and Robyn try to deal with what happened, Jono and Zack try to help.
Date: January 17, 2010
Log Title Troubles With Dealing
Rating: R
Xavier Mansion - Medical Bay
The Medical Bay contains the latest medical equipment to patch up students and X-Men with the smallest and worst injuries. Six beds line the walls for injured patients. Equipment lines the walls, medicine in the cabinets, and more serious medical supplies locked in cabinets. One this about this room it screams sterilization.
The students who need to be brought to the medbay, have been brought and patched up. It's taken a little over an hour since they were brought down and are now those that need rest, and those that don't, are suggested to spend the night down here just to make sure they're okay. Nothing is forced though. Robyn has been stiched up and bandaged where needed, his burns taken care of and now is lying on one of the beds looking quite pale. He hasn't said much and it hurts to even lie there since Nathaniel carved something into his back and he's leaning on the injury. Any questions asked have been given short answers.
Dallas is sitting up on one of the beds with antiseptics and burn cream slathered generously over most of his exposed skin and a healthy dose of aspirin to handle the body aches. Anything more than that would make him uncomfortably loggy and he's not willing to be impaired at the moment. He says, "I still don't remember how we got out. The last thing I remember is passing out in that cage, trying to figure out how to get loose."
Rashmi is stretched out on one of the other beds, her hair pulled over to drape across her middle. While not precisely injured, the heat exhaustion was enough to keep her under observation for a while, at least. "It was Jordan," she says quietly, looking up at Robyn. "He was fighting the demon in him… Knocked Lucas out, and snuck us all out to Salem Center."
Mikhail injuries are almost completly healed now and he looks almost back to normal, apart from the distant look in his eyes, hes sitting on one of the beds and has been told not to leave as they say hes in shock, he doesn't see why that means he has to stay as hes doing a hell of alot better than the rest of the group, but he hasn't spoken since they got there.
Robyn nods in agreement with Rashmi. "Yeah, it was him. He got us all out." Robyn says kind of flatly. "He left and ran off." Robyn's eyes eventually look over at Mikhail and a stab of guilt runs through him. "Mikhail…I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to stab you, I didn't want to but that guy, Nathaniel.." There's a wince as he says the name tears start to flow down his cheeks quietly as much as he doesn't want them too. "He controls emotions. I'm sorry Mikhail, I'm so sorry." He says starting to full out cry now. It's just been too much for the young mutant to hold back the tears anymore.
Dallas sighs and says, "Well…crap." He looks over towards Rashmi and doesn't say anything. But given their conversation while they were in their cages. He winces at Robyn's words and gets up, grunting a little and fighting off a full-body wince. Ok, maybe pain-killers would have been a good idea. Too late now, though. His ruined uniform has been replaced by a pair of Xavier running shorts but he hasn't braved the t-shirt yet, given that it would hurt like hell to put on and wear. He crosses over to Robyn's bed and puts a hand on his friend's shoulder briefly. "Dude. Psychics suck. Other than you. Nobody can blame you."
Rashmi slips out of bed as well, crossing to the other side of Robyn. "It's okay, Robyn… it wasn't you, right…?" Looking over her shoulder, she gives Mikhail a gentle smile. "Everyone knows, a good friend wouldn't say those kinds of things and mean it."
Zack managed to get the car back, and explain where they went and why a half dozen students look like hell. Since he could talk he was explaining things, mabey making some stuff up, but finally he manages to get into thebay
Mikhail looks over at Robyn, his eyes still distant, "It ok, Mikhail understand, not your fault", he does genuinly forgive Robyn, but he cant really seem to connect completly back to him human emotions, hes not really feeling anything right now, actually hes kinda hungrey but that can wait for now. Whats left of his clothing has been replaced with Xavier shorts as well, as they were the only thing the medbay had on hand.
Robyn nods and wipes his cheeks off, he wants to get up but he can't. "Oh god guys, I hate this. I want everything to be like it was a few days ago." When things were easy. "You followed us Mikhail and I couldn't watch over you, or you Rashmi. I…I'm sorry guys." There's a lot left unsaid but he can't even bring himself to tell his friends yet.
Dallas shrugs and says, "Well, I didn't exactly rock the rescue angle myself, guys. Ok, we got slammed by possessed freaks. It sucks. And we didn't make ourselves look like future X-Men at all. But there isn't a good reason for you guys to beat yourself up." He leaves himself out of that, of course. /He/ should have done better. They get a pass because well, they aren't Dallas.
Rashmi tucks a lock of Robyn's hair away from his face, frowning to herself. "Robyn… It was *my* idea to go. You had a *broken arm,* but there wasn't anyone who could stop you…" There's a sad smile on her face, as she leans down to kiss Robyn's forehead. "You were so much braver than you ever needed to be, Robyn. And thank you, for trying. All of you," she says, turning around. "I'm so, so sorry I got you all into this…"
Zack just kinda rubs the back of his head, well he wasn't there, so he doens't know how he feels about that, one way or the oter, he shuts the door and silently hangs by the exit, he keeps rubbing his black hair.
Mikhail watches the other three talk from his bed, he doesn't understand why they keep talking about bravery, its not like it helped against the demons yesterday.
"I'm the most experienced, I should have done more. I'm a metalist, I should be able to defend my own mind, but…" Robyn is just feeling way to down about himself out the moment, a bit more than seems reasonable. "Rashmi, I followed you cause I wanted to, I was stupid, not brave." And as she leans down to kiss his forhead, he clings onto her and just cries, probably harder than he has in years. There's something that he's hiding, that he can't bring himself to vocalize.
Dallas just sighs and shakes his head, giving the stoic Mikhail a faintly envious glance. That's how a man should react to stuff like this. Quiet. Solid. Internalized. Seeing Robyn distressed but obviously finding comfort in Rashmi, he just pats the young man on the shoulder one more time and shuffles back to his own bed, trying not walk like a senior citizen. He gives Zack a nod, not really knowing the tall mutant well, but at least recognizing him by sight. "Hey, Zack. How did you guys know where to find us?"
Zack keeps giving a little oh, and he shrugs, "Tweet, you guys still had your stuff…so…I saw it, and I went and found someone that knew how to drive" he says shyly as he keeps sitting
Rashmi wraps her arms around Robyn, making soft little shushing noises. "No, Robyn, you were… hey… hey, it's okay… see? We're back, and we're safe…" Closing her eyes, she rests Robyn's forehead on her shoulder. "The rest will take care of itself… But right now, you're safe."
Robyn eventually stops, he kind of needed it but he doesn't know how to deal with things. "If you guys see Nathaniel out again, just get away from him as quick as possible. He's really sick." Robyn says shaking slightly, all cried out from the moment, but he still hugs Rashmi with his good arm. "I have to talk to Addison."
Mikhail is feeling uneasy, hes seeing Robyn cry and knows he should do something, but he cant figure out what, so he just lays back on the bed and stares up at the celing.
"We will," Rashmi assures Robyn. "Right now… you just get some rest. Heal up, and when you feel better? We can talk alone, about anything you need."
Robyn is in the middle of a bit of an emotional break down and is patched up, looking a lot worse for wear than yesterday, clinging to Rashmi. Eventually he does let go and lies back down, crying out in pain as the bed hits the injuries from Nathaniel's claws on his back. "I don't know, Rashmi, thanks though. I'm sorry for being so….overbearing."
"It's okay," Rashmi says quietly. "It's not like you're… y'know, the first person who needed to cry on me. I don't mind, really… And I *do* mean it, Robyn. If there's anything you need to get out… you can talk to me."
Jonothon pages, "Last night was strange for Jono in that he actually did something telepathic. Wouldn't have if it weren't Inferno! :)" to you.
Rather like the day before the door to the infirmary open and Jonothon finds himself standing in it. One hand comes to rest on the frame, keeping the door open, and he lingers there a moment to look everyone over. Those expecting an 'I told you do', or some kind of anger, well, you're going to be disappointed. The tired man simply comes in and asks, «Anything I can do to help?» Not asking if you're alright, for it's obvious people aren't. He, himself, looks tired. Motions are slow and there are dark circles under his eyes.
Robyn reaches his hand out to grab Rashmi's. "I don't blame you, and it's not your fault. Jordan showed us that he's still there somewhere, it means Lucas is too." He just doesn't know about Nathaniel, he can burn in hell. "If I tell you something, I don't anyone else but you three knowing, can you not repeat it?" He needs to get it off his chest but then Jono walks in and Robyn looks at him. "Jono…" He says in a sort of greeting.
Mikhail looks around as Jono enters, and then goes back to staring at the ceiling, he recognises him but gives no signs of greeting, his social skills have backtacted a few weeks.
Rashmi places her free hand over Robyn's, nodding seriously. "I know, Robyn… And I promise. I won't tell anyo—" And then Jono walks in. Her head shoots up, hair whipping out as she turns around. "Jono! Hi! Um… so, yeah… we're back…" A lame smile is given, spots of color blooming on her cheeks.
His timing is apparently as awesome as always. (Sarcasm off) Just inside the door, Jonothon stops as he's looked at and he lifts both hands. «…I could just be going too.» Teen-age secrets aren't really something he's interested in. Hands drop though as he focuses in on Rashmi. «I'm glad.» That you all are back, and alive. Dark eyes focus in on Robyn. «Want me to go?» So you can spill your huge secret.
Robyn looks at Jono and shakes his head. "No, no, it's okay. You can stay, I'm fine really." It's the biggest lie he's told in a long time. "You okay Jono?" He asks, noticing that he looks tired now. He looks over at Mikhail and bites his lower lip. "Rashmi, can you help me up?" He asks still looking over at Mikhail.
Dallas has been lost in thought the past several moments and he doesn't really snap out of it until the stranger enters even as he gives Robyn an 'of course' nod. Having read through the declassified bits of X-Men case files and tactical reports, his eyes narrow as something about the man nags at a half-formed memory. His stare is a little too open to be called polite. He nods to the man, not saying anything for the moment.
Mikhail is still laying there, and is tracing his fingers across whats left of his burns as they continue to fade away, he doesn't look worried or happy or realy anything, he just has a black expression.
Rashmi looks back to Robyn, ducking down to loop Robyn's uninjured arm back over her neck. "No no, Jono, it's all right… I'm… actually really glad to see you. I, um… I'm sorry for not listening… but it wasn't *all* bad… I was right." Wavering under the new weight on her shoulder, she smiles gently. "They can fight it, Jono… It was Robyn's boyfriend that got us all out. We *can* get them back, if we try…"
Jonothon doesn't a bit believe anyone here is fine, but he does accept the chance to remain. «Better than you are.» To Robyn on whether or not he's okay. «It's been a long night.» Long night, long day, etc. And then to Rashmi. The man's nose wrinkles as he glances to Dallas for being stared at, but the expression is really for the topic. Being stared at is something that happens often with Jono. «Don't need to be apologizing to me, gel. You paid the price. Not like I haven't done several times the stupid things I've seen with you lot.» That people can fight it has him nodding. «Of course.» Felt that was a given. «That was never the issue.» Dark eyes flickering over everyone, lingering a little on Mikhail, Jono asks, «Anything I can do to help?»
Robyn was going to go over and try to talk to Mikhail but something in her words cause him to stop. "It wasn't all bad? It was worse than that Rashmi. I just want last night to have never happened, it was worse than being taken by the MGH people. I just want to go home, pretend I don't have powers and just live a normal life again."
Dallas nods at Robyn's words, echoing his own thoughts for the most part and then winces as some part of himself immediately declares that cowardly for him. He gives Jono a faint, bitter grin and asks, "Can you blow up that castle and everybody in it? That would be a good start." And no, he won't look towards Rashmi as he says that. He doesn't want to deal with what he might see there.
Mikhail finally says something, "Blowing up castle would upset people, they like the monsters", he doesn't say it with malice, he just says what hes thinking.
Rashmi falls silent for a moment, looking from Robyn to Dallas, and back… then to Mikhail, face going pale. She's silent, for a long moment, then carefully extricates her hand from Robyn's. "I… I'm okay to go, I think," she says, her voice quavering. "Just… come talk to me when you're up for it, Robyn…." Tears stand out in her eyes as she steps away from the beds, walking swiftly toward the door. "I… sorry…"
Moving slowly into the room, a hand coming to settle lightly at the foot of a medical bed, Jonothon looks down to the unconscious Amanda. Something about her niggles his memory, but he doesn't try and focus on it. Not with how his head is aching. «That wouldn't solve your problem.» Said to Dallas as Jono looks over to him. His attention shifts to Rashmi, not trying to stop her. «Gel, they're hurting and lashing out. This isn't your fault.» Not that he expects her to listen any better today than she did the day before.
Robyn's mind is just not all together, he's tried to shut himself down, he's tried crying, doesn't know how to deal. Nothing is working and he's pretty much snapped. He grabs a small container of pain killers and throws it against a wall as hard as he can, sending pills flying all over. "Stop it! It's not your fault, I followed you willingly! I wasn't strong enough to stop either of them, I attacked Mikhail, I got captured..I…I..Nathaniel…" Then Robyn grips the side of one of the small tables next to the bed and tries to knock it over with his one good hand. "I couldn't stop Nathaniel." He says falling to his knees in his fit of rage.
Dallas rolls his eyes at Rashmi and scowls at Robyn. "Stop that. You're apologizing for things you didn't do. Either of you. Unless you want to take credit for making those guys psycho." He sits up in bed, giving them a cool look and a tone that he's never used before creeps into his voice. Distant, cold, clinical even. Very out of place on somebody his age. "Their damage is not your damage unless you decide to make it that way. So stop being the damned Lifetime 'wounded but loyal wife', Rashmi, and start being on the team." He shrugs. "Or go team demon. That's trendy. And Robyn, dude, you can't fight. Big whoop. /I/ can. And I still got nailed." He looks back to Jono, nods to his schoolmates and then tilts his head a little, "Wanna bet that it won't do any good for them?"
Mikhail watches Rashmi leave the room, then gets up and walks over to where Robyn is and picks up the table that he knocked over, "Your going break something", before going to pull Robyn up by his good arm and put him on his bed, if he stuggles he will just go back to his own bed.
For the first time in several months, Rashmi's powers manifest without her conscious thought. She simply whirls on Dallas, real fury in her eyes, and a shimmering blue blur whips past Dallas' head, slamming against the wall. "How. DARE YOU! Who do you think you *are,* passing judgment on me! It must me so *easy* to sneer at me like that, just because you're all set to be the big hero, isn't it?! Well some hero *you're* turning out to be, you hateful little creep… Why don't you talk to me again when you're not too much of a *coward* to make the *really* hard decisions. We'll see what a big man you are then." Spinning around on her heel, she storms to the door, practically crackling with anger.
Jonothon winces as pills hit and scatter. No attempt is made to stop Robyn, for he's been in a similar place and knows how it feels. «Stop it.» To Robyn as that table is pushed at. While quiet, there is a firmness there. «You want to lash out, let's go to the Danger Room. Not here.» Attention returns to Dallas for those harsh words. Can't say Dallas isn't wrong, but oy. Jonothon doesn't get to reply immediately as Rashmi lashes out, and then storms out. Sigh. Dark eyes return to Dallas. «Don't need to bet on what I already know comes out on top. It won't help. It never does.» Says the guy who's been either running away, or lashing out at everything, for years now. He decides he needs waders for the angst though. Sigh.
Robyn looks over at Dallas and just glares at him. "Dallas, don't tell me how to act." He doesn't know how to deal with it and a lot of what he's saying is an excuse. He just lets Mikhail pick him up and place him back in his bed and he retreats back into a state where he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He just watches Rashmi leave and sighs. It takes a bit and he's quiet for quite some time before he says something quietly, with no emotion to it. "Nathaniel….he forced himself on me." His eyes just look up at the ceiling and his face stays expressionless. "We shouldn't be fighting eachother." He says in the same flat voice.
Dallas arches an eyebrow at Rashmi. He doesn't flinch at the tk ball slamming into the wall. No matter how 'together' he's trying to project himself, he's still very much dealing with the day himself. And the threat of more violence isn't exactly new at this point. "Yea. Hard choices. Like talking about how worse it would be for you after your boyfriend killed all of the rest of us. You know, while you were trying to save him. By throwing the rest of us to him like bones for a rabid dog." It's probably the most brutal spin he could put on their conversation of the night before. He raises his voice so she can hear him as she storms out. "Gandhi teach you that one or is it something you picked up under Lucas?" He starts to snap at Jono and then flinches at Robyn's words, shutting up fairly instantly.
Once Robyn is back on his bed, Mikhail walks back to his own, when Rashmi yells and aim her power at the wall near Dallas, he simply states, "That was rude", he doesn't comment on what Robyn say as he doesn't know what he means, instead he just lays back on his bed again and goes back to staring at the ceiling.
To Dallas, «Real smooth there, mate.» The sarcasm is heavy in the words. «You want to duke it out we'll go somewhere others won't be hurt.» Jonothon is far less certain about how to help Robyn though. There's not a great deal he can do. Leaving Amanda's bedside, the thin Englishman approaches Robyn. Not too close, just the area where Mikhail still helps the other. «You're right. You shouldn't be fighting one another, but that's hard when you hurt this bad. Anything I can do?»
Rashmi stops dead in the doorway, knuckles whitening on the handle. Slowly, she turns, crossing the room to give Robyn a gentle hug. "I'm… so, so sorry, Robyn… I… Please… let me know if I can help… but… I can't… be here right now… I'm sorry…" Turning, she walks slowly to the door, as though not entirely certain of her balance, leaving the medbay entirely."
Robyn looks at Jono and shakes his head. "I just…I don't know how to deal with this. It's too much. It's way to much." He says being honest. "I don't know where to start, I can't stop thinking about it, I wish I was fine, I want to be carefree, I want to just be…things to be like they were two days ago. I can't handle this, I can't."
Dallas nods at Robyn as though getting that. He'd go a little further back, personally, but he gets the idea. Dallas frowns and looks towards the door and then back at Mikhail and Robyn. He'd been planning to spend the night in the more secure feeling environs of his own room. Especially given that he could prop a chair under the knob or something there. Stupid, given the powers involved, but human instincts don't adapt as quickly as mutant powers, apparently. But he can at least be here. And really? Who needs sleep anyway? He looks over to Robyn and frowns, obviously thinking about something. After a moment he just shakes his head. He looks back to Jono and says, sounding more tired than pugnacious, "Give me a few hours."
Zack has been a fly on the wall the entire time, so he just listens a little bit, and he takes a little breath and he walks over, slowly, with shuffling little feet, Rashmi looks like she's got things under control, really does. So he gives her just a small nod. He'll move over though, to Robyn, his roomie, and will set his great big hand down upon his sholder and tries to give him, a half hug with his big body.
If there's anything Jonothon knows, it's how to get by day after day with this kind of stuff. «Robyn, you don't have to be okay.» Eyes close and he shakes his head, hair brushing against his ruined cheeks. «The only way to deal with it is one hour at a time, then one day at a time. Little by little it eases up and you can stop thinking about it all the time.» There's a shrug after that because he knows it's hardly what most people want to hear. «What's hardest is finding the will to keep moving forward. All I can suggest is to keep your friends close. Don't be alone.» Looking away, there's a more quiet, «It gets worse alone.» To Dallas there's another shrug. «Whatever.» No real interest to fight, but if Dallas wants to he will. Might help Dallas. Might also them both in the infirmary. Jono doesn't much care.
Robyn looks at Zack and almost forgot he was here. He smiles and nods, grateful that he's his roommate. He listens to Jono and takes his words to heart. "Dallas….Mikhail…Zack, I need you guys. I really do. If I'm not myself, I'm sorry, but, I can't get over this alone. If I'm not myself, I'm sorry, I want to be, but right now, I can't." Robyn's honest, he always has been. "I just can't fight with you guys, Rashmi's emotionally beating herself up over her boyfriend, Jordan…we're here cause of him and it's not easy on any of us."
Dallas just nods from his bed. "I got your back, dude." He sighs and says, "This would be easier if we just had some heavy hitters to drop a mountain on that castle. Screw those guys." The anger he's trying to keep under the surface bubbles up for a moment and his shadow flows around Dallas for a second. Finally. He flexes his fingers and then dismisses it. His scowl is intense when his face is revealed again and he mutters, under his breath and so low that only those with supernatural senses (or perhaps telepathy) will hear it. "Not strong enough. Wasn't. Not. /Will be/." Apparently it makes sense to him.
Mikhail listens to then talk and also hears what Dallas says, but it makes very little sence to him, he then gets up and begins walking towards the door.
«I'm here too if you need someone.» Jonothon offers to Robyn. He knows Robyn is sure to stick closer to friends than a strange adult (Stranger than most!), but he makes that offer anyway. As Dallas speaks to Robyn, Jono looks to him. No, he doesn't listen into minds, so he doesn't make out the muttering, but it doesn't stop him from watching Dallas during it. «Some heavy hitters are already out there.» He certainly believes Addison and Magneto count as heavy hitters. Doesn't explain who those people are, but mostly because he's watching Mikhail leave. Well, at least people aren't throwing things, and using powers on one another anymore.
Zack just ends up standing there then, so…he'll simply stand there,he's quiet and the very atmopshere of the room makes him go quiet, not speaking or anything, still nervously shuffling and standing.
Robyn watches Mikhail leave and bites his lip. "Mikhail's going through something too." He says sounding worried. "Dallas, you know I have your back too right?" He says before looking to Jono. "Thanks, really. You've helped a bit already, thanks." Robyn settles back and just watches Dallas for a bit, but doesn't say anything else at the moment.
Jonothon can only shrug for that thank you, even though he's not actually trying to make light of it. «I know what it means to hurt.» The auburn head tilts after that, him pausing a moment. «Not the same thing, but yeah. I'm serious about the offer too. Even if it's needing a place to hide, and still not be alone, my room's up stairs.» Ignoring Robyn while he gets some work done won't be any trouble at all. «Offer goes to you too.» That to Dallas. «Even if it's me putting you in the infirmary.» Jono's teasing there, eyes showing laughter wrinkles. It's the only way he can smile now.
Dallas watches Mikhail leave but respects his right to do so now that they are back at school. He nods to Robyn and gives his friend a somewhat forced smile. "Yea, I know." And then back to Jono. His expression is cool and his tone level as he says, "Good. I hope they flatten it to the ground. And take flame throwers to what's left." With that idea in his head, he settles back and closes his eyes. "And hey, training is good. I'll email. We can work something out." The tone on that is so conversational that it jars against the flat tone before it, as though he's trying to project the idea that everything is on an even keel.
Robyn watches Dallas as he speaks and there's a sad expression on his face. He just closes his eyes and shakes his head. "Thanks Jono, it means a lot to me. Right now." He says as it does feel good to finally feel hope again, to know that he's not going to have to suffer through what he did last night again. "I don't want to go back out there."
As Mikhail walks past Robyn and Dallas he says, "Behave, dont fight", before continuing out the door.
Not fooled by the tone, neither does the Englishman call Dallas on it. Jonothon merely nods and lets it go. Tempers are already high. No point in making it worse. «You don't have to.» Go back out there, Robyn. He pauses there to eye Mikhail with faint amusement. Too tired for much more. «Just don't pretend you're fine when you aren't, mate. Covering it up doesn't help.» Says the guy who shared the angst until people smacked him upside the head. He leaves Robyn's bedside then to return to looking down at Amanda. A frown forms as he puzzles through broken memory. Who is she? He should really know.
Zack remains the sad panda against the wall, watching and listenining, course he's not sre if he can hear the mental words.
Robyn looks over at Dallas and nods his agreement. "You don't have to keep it all inside Dallas. I open up to you, why can't you trust to talk to me? It's not good. I don't usually care if you do or don't, just please, don't do this to yourself. I'm worried about you Dallas and…you're one of my closest friends and I want you to trust me if you need someone."
With Dallas opting to remain silent, Jonothon asks, «You going to be okay if I go?» That asked of Robyn. The teen isn't alone right now, and Jono does have some other things to tend to. He longs to sleep, but that will have to wait a while longer. «I'm not leaving the school grounds, so will be close at hand.» With that promise, and should Robyn say it's okay, Jono takes his leave. Just don't destroy the medical bay after he's gone, okay?
Dallas opens his eyes to give Robyn a level look. Not angry or hostile, just flat. "If I were going to talk about anything with anybody, it would be you, Robyn. But there's nothing to say. Ever. Period. Like I said, I'm here for /you/." He puts a small emphasis on the last word, as though suggesting that Robyn's pain and/or needs are more pressing. He closes his eyes again and says, "I'll be here with him. And nothing will get smashed unless somebody tries to hurt us first."
Robyn nods to Jono. "I'll be….the best I can." Which isn't okay but it's not throwing thing and crying anymore. He watches Dallas but doesn't answer, though there is a look of annoyance that flashes through his face before he shifts to get comfortable, no position is completely comfortable, for a bit before sighing and then trying to go to sleep.
