Players:
Summary: Mikhail seeks out Dallas for some answers and a little help.
Date: January 18, 2010.
Log Title Truth and Consequences
Rating: PG-13.
Xavier Mansion - Dallas and Trey's Room
Slightly bigger than the old room, the new rooms fit two students comfortably. Each room has off white walls with a dark brown carpet. There is one window in the middle of the wall that looks out over the grounds. Each room has two beds, two dressers, two desks and two closets, one for each student.
Its been almost 24 hours since he left Robyn and Dallas in the medbay, and Mikhail has been doing a lot of thinking and needs someone to give him answers, hes dressed in grey Xavier school shorts and a matching t-shirt, he has followed Dallas' scent up from the medbay and is standing outside his door, whatever social skills he has picked up since he joined the school are pretty much gone so he just enters without knocking, "Dallas, Mikhail need talk", he has the same distant look in his eyes that he had yesterday.
Dallas jumps when the door opens and practically bolts out of his seat. His shadow is upon him in a black flash and his desk chair is half-way lifted for a throw when the voice and form register. "Mik? Jesus! Dude. Knock." The shell of living shadow flows away down to his feet and sheds excess bits under the desk and bed. They scurry like rats into the welcoming darkness. His initial scent of fear, anger and surprise is replaced by one of relief and embarrassment and something complex. He sets down the chair, turns off his monitor, causing a diagram of a genetic chart to go dark and sits back down, looking at his friend. He gestures towards the bed. "Sit. Talk."
Mikhail ignores Dallas' reaction and the scent of fear not even flinching as Dallas picks up a chair, as he walks past Dallas to sit on the bed he says, "The guilt not yours", yea he picked up on it, the medbay reeked of it yeasterday, sitting down his looks at Robyn, looking in Mikhail's eyes right now is quite unnerving as there is little humanity behind them, "Why people care about monster?", this is the first question hes been thinking about.
Dallas sighs and runs his hands back through his hair. "It is mine. I wasn't good enough. But that aside…." He straightens up a bit in his chair, drawing on that ethic of 'walk it off' and 'work through it' to focus on the question. And it's a good distraction. Finally he says, "I may be the wrong person to ask. I don't. Care about the monsters that is. If we are talking about Nate and Lucas and all the rest. But I can tell you why some people do, maybe."
Mikhail nods "No you weren't", hes not being rude hes just stating a fact, he nods again, "Ok, tell Mikhail", his expression hasn't changed.
Dallas fights back a flinch. He reads a weight of condemnation into that flat agreement but he doesn't protest. They both know it's only the truth. After a moment he swallows and says, "They don't want to believe they could like a person, let somebody get close, maybe even love them and have that person be horrible. It means that they are wrong and nobody is safe to get close to because everybody and anybody might be a monster. So they let themselves get carried away by weakness, pretending that just hoping the bad person stops is doing something. And that way, they get to believe they can have that person they liked back again. Because the /person/ isn't really evil and sick and twisted. They just did bad things." He leans forward and gives Mikhail a very intense stare. "That's a /lie/, Mik. Some people /are/ evil and sick. And even if they fight it off, or pretend to, that's all they are /ever/ going to be. They can just try to get stronger to stop being sick or they can give in and be a monster."
Mikhail nods again, "Yes a lie, they being stupid to trust", he doesn't react to the stare Dallas gives him, "Lucas asshole, demon or not, Rashmi being stupid, he going to die", he doesn't say it as a threat, he again states it as a fact, he then brings up his second question, "Why you pretend, you not so hurt?"
Dallas nods and then his lips quirk up at hearing that insult from Mikhail. He wasn't even aware that the feral mutant knew how to swear. His expression goes a little tighter and he says, "He's murdered a lot of people. And he hurt Rashmi. He does deserve to die. And I hope it happens." That second question causes him to tense and go quiet and then he shrugs and says, "It was just a little nuclear explosion, Mik. And yea, I'm beat up. But I'll get better, assuming he didn't give me cancer or something." Which is avoiding the question by answering it, of course.
Mikhail shakes his head, "Answer qusetion, Mikhail not ask how you feel, mikhail ask why you lying", a few days ago he would have excepted Dallas' answer and moved on but hes fed up of hearing people tell pointless lies, he wants to know what Dallas is thinking, not just what Dallas wants everyone else to think.
Dallas sighs and leans back in his chair. He stretches out his legs before him with a faint grimace and folds his arms over his chest defensively, slouching in the chair. "Because talking about it isn't going to make things different. It's just going to distract me from doing what I need to do. And nobody gets that, here. Everybody wants to talk about your feelings. Well, sometimes feelings suck. And /trust/ me, nobody wants to know me. Not for real. I just want to…." He shrugs and trails off. "Talking doesn't make you better, Mik. It's just talk."
Mikhail nods again satisfied with the answer this time, but says "Mikhail does want know you, but you scared to let Mikhail know" he then continues onto his third question, "Do Mikhail annoy you, is Mikhail obnoxious brat, don't lie, Mikhail will know.", he says obnoxious brat in Robyn's voice, he knows that Robyn didn't want to say those things to him, but he figures that the words came from somewhere.
Dallas blinks at that question and then shakes his head. "You don't annoy me at all, Mik. In some ways you remind me of my little brother. And in other ways, you don't. And I haven't /seen/ you being a brat at all. If anything, you're very laid back." He pauses, processing that mimicked voice and says, "Robyn tried to tell you yesterday that he was being … pushed … by Nate when he said that." He taps his temple. "In here. Bad psychic stuff. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it at all."
Mikhail nods, "Mikhail knows he forced, but words came from somewhere", he feels the shame coming from Dallas, and asks a question he wanted to ask a while back "What that feeling and why you feel it?", hes just asking the question cos hes curious, hes not going to demand an answer, if Dallas doesn't answer he'll move on.
Dallas shakes his head. "Doesn't mater." And then, "Because he was being forced to dislike you right that moment and he was looking for a way to hurt you. Look at it this way, the /worst/ insult he could come up with was 'brat'. That means he must like you a lot as a friend." He shrugs and says, "It didn't really mean anything, Mik."
Mikhail shrugs and gets up to walk over to the window, looking out he says, "What going happen to us? Mikhail want kill them but others want them live", he sighs and then says the thing thats been bugging him so much, "Mikhail can feel anything", he cant understand his complete lack of emotion.
Dallas blinks and says, "Well, we're supposed to be the good guys. So I guess people are going to try to 'save' them. Though I heard they brought in Magneto. He's /not/ a 'live and learn' kind of guy, from what I've seen on TV." He pauses at that last part and then says, "Ah, dude. You mean since you got captured? Or before?" His voice is careful on that, as though he's skirting land mines just by asking.
Mikhail sighs, "Since the pain", hes talking mostly about the mental pain of Robyn turning on him and finding himself being burned and put in a cage like he used to be, "Mikhail go into animal to get away, but cant come back right".
Dallas nods at that and says, "I get that." He actually sounds a little wistful. After a moment he says, "Maybe Addison could help? Or the school therapist guy? Or maybe you just need to get it out of your system with a run or hitting stuff? That helps me for all kinds of problems." After a moment he adds, "Or it could take time. It's been a /really/ crappy week."
Mikhail looks round at Dallas again, his eyes still distant, "Mikhail, want to feel now, it wrong, I don't feel like Mikhail.", he also can feel the feelings he was feeling for Dallas and Robyn anymore, which is the most worrying thing as they were his most human feelings.
Dallas gives Mikhail a long look, obviously sorting through his own emotions and the distance he wants to keep from people at the moment. On the other hand, Mikhail came to /him/ to talk about this. For help, more or less. And given Dallas's mindset and personality…. After a moment, Dallas nods. "Okay, dude. We'll figure it out. Do you mind talking to Addison? He's kind of a hippie with the long hair and stuff. And a psychic. They usually suck. But he seems alright. And if anybody can figure out what's going on in your head, it's probably him."
Mikhail nods at Dallas, he doesn't know what a hippie is but if this Addison can fix whats gone wrong with him he'll go see him, "Mikhail don't mind, want be fixed", if he could feel it this would usually be the point where hope would kick in for other people.
