2010-03-24: Trying To Be Strong


Jordan_icon.jpg Robyn_icon.jpg

Summary: Robyn finally approaches Jordan about everything that's happened.

Date: March 24, 2010

Log Title Trying To Be Strong

Rating: PG

Xavier Mansion - Jared and Jordan's Room

//Slightly bigger than the old room, the new rooms fit two students comfortably. Each room has off white walls with a dark brown carpet. There is one window in the middle of the wall that looks out over the grounds. Each room has two beds, two dressers, two desks and two closets, one for each student. //

Even though he said he'd be patient, Robyn can't help but knock on Jordan's door today. He just hasn't really spoken to him since that night and he needs to make sure Jordan's okay. He's wearing a pair of comfortable Xavier's sweatpants with an Edward Scissorhands t-shirt over it. He's actually just woken up from a nap about fifteen minutes ago and decided to head over.

"It's open." Jordan says, without looking out. He's in normal clothing which simply… looks horrible on him because of his newfound pallor. Very little of his clothing looks decent anymore, and he's been trying to find something that does.

Stepping into the room, Robyn doesn't move much past the door once it's shut behind him. "Hey…sorry to bother you I just wanted to know how you were holding up. If you needed someone to talk to." Robyn says. As much as he wants to go over and hug Jordan, he doesn't, he just stays where he is. After all Jono has a problem with touching people who knows if Jordan does too. "And I wanted to apologize."

"Nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault. You didn't have anything to do with it. I can hold back my issues with you." Jordan says immediately. "I'm… I'm trying to figure out what to do now. I'm too bright and I'll never fit in with the public like this." He states, simply. That's how he feels.

"I should have been more sensitive to your needs instead of mine." Robyn says taking a few steops closer and pulling a chair out of one of the desks to sit down. "I don't know Jordan…maybe…Dr. McCoy can do something, but just know that if you need me for anything, you can count on me, okay?"

"Just… don't show any weakness around me, Robyn. Others, I don't give a fuck. Be strong near me. And then I won't even be tempted to let that side of me take over. I… I think I'm going to take a vacation to go visit my parents. Maybe on Spring Break. You can come if you want." Jordan says, still not looking towards Robyn,

"Okay, I can be strong, for you." Robyn says nodding as he hears the vacation part. "I'd love to go with you, I think getting away from here will be good. It's been hell here the last few weeks, I don't even want to imagine the hell you went through."

"You don't." Jordan says simply. "I don't know how I'm going to explain to my parents what happened… and keep going to school here. But I'll find a way." He nods. It's one of those things. His parents ARE protective. "It'll probably be easier if I can get rid of this whiteness…"

That he can understand, if he had to tell his parents half of what went on here… "Weird explosing in the science lab?" Yeah he's joking but maybe bringing some lightness to the situation is needed. He stands up and goes to sit down on Jordan's bed, if he'll let him. "I don't know, I'm not sure if I can help with that, but I'll work with you if needed. I'll do what ever I can to help you, you know that."

Jordan won't stop him. He's not mad at Robyn after all. It's just all of the crap he's been through lately. "We'll be alright. I just… I'm even starting to wonder for myself if I should be here. But, if I weren't here, you wouldn't be near me." He says, sighing. "I just don't know anymore."

Robyn takes Jordan's hand and nods. "I know what you mean. I hate it here and I like it here at the same time. I like having friends, I'm so happy I met you, but…is it always going to be like this? Is there ever…down time?" Robyn asks as he rubs Jordan's hand with his thumb lightly. "Well even when I'm not near you, I'm always there for you Jordan."

"Won't stop me from being destructive though." Jordan says with a sigh. He doesn't object to the hand being held. After all, he doesn't mind it. It's just everything else. "I just still have a lot to think about. And, well… you know. We both have things to work through."

"Why does everyone thing I have things to work out, I'm fine." There's that stubborness of his coming out, aren't all his problems solved for the most part? This whole thing is over right? He shouldn't have problems anymore. Which is a lie of course. "You're what's important right now Jordan, you're the one that needs someone strong to lean against and help you get through this, I'm fine. You can take whatever time you need."

Jordan turns to look at Robyn. "You're fine?" He asks, reaching a hand out to grab Robyn's rear. He's got a little growl in his voice, and he's… not looking completely like himself. "How fine are you when you can't even deal with someone touching you there, much less go any further." He says, before pulling his hand back and turning away to look at the wall. "Sorry."

Robyn jumps slightly at the hand grab and tenses, if only for a moment, if anything it gets him a little angry, but he takes a few deep breaths. "You know what Jordan…" He says focusing on the oposite wall so he doesn't have to look at him. "Hearing those words come out of your mouth the other night, hurt me more than anything Nathaniel did to me. Even though it wasn't you, you were there and hearing you say them, it wasn't easy. I've been working with Dr. Parker-Mayfair to get past that and I think I've made decent progress." The apology is there but knowlegde that there's something in Jordan's psyche that's thinking that, it's not easy to just accept an apology and let it go right now.

"I need to find someone that can fix my head first." Jordan says, shaking his head. "The physical can be dealt with later. Makeup and hairdye if I have to. But that…" He looks to the door again. "It wasn't me saying them. He told me you were holding me back."

Robyn has to close his eyes and nods slowly. "I'm sorry Jordan, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I know it wasn't you. And I've…things were hard a week ago but they're getting better and things are looking up and I'm fine now Jordan. Really. And I've never once wanted to, or tried to, hold you back. I've always loved you because of who you are."

"I knew that deep down. But I couldn't change the thoughts that ran over my mind. The thoughts that controlled my actions. The freedom. I could fight the demons. I couldn't fight that." Jordan says, shaking his head. "I'm thinking… if I stay like this… I'll grow my hair out. Maybe dreads." he says witha bit of a laugh, changing the subject.

Robyn turns to look at Jordan and smiles at him, before moving so that he can stretch out next to him. "Dreads huh? It might look hot on you." He's just happy to hear the small laugh and he takes the change of subject. "I've been thinking about getting another tattoo so you can be sexy with dreads and I'll just get inked. Actually the white hair is kind of cool, so is the whole ghost look."

"Ohyeah. I keep forgetting. Translucent." Jordan says, shrinking down a little, so that he solidifies in appearance. "There." he says. Easier to see. "I just wanna get my mind off of it. Are… Have you actually made progress? With all of that?" He asks.

Robyn nods with a smile. "Yeah, I've made a lot. I don't really think about it much anymore or even have nightmares about it. Once thing good with all this chaos around here, there's always something to replace the last horrible thing that happened and makes the previous thing seem less signficant. Also just having friends around here and you around here help me to get through things. Who knows, once I'm healed up maybe we can get away for a bit…locally." He says with a bit of a grin.

"Or if we go down to my parents… early." Jordan offers, in response. After all, they're fairly open about things. They know Jordan's capable of making sound decisions. If he's in his right mind. "I don't know what to tell them, though. About all of this. Maybe I'll just say it's advancing mutation?"

"How are your parents…with all the mutant stuff? And saying it's an advanced mutation might work. Who knows, we might be able to get one of the X-People to take us down there in a blackbird so you don't have to worry about a plane ride." Robyn says taking comfort next to Jordan and actually feeling relaxed. "I've actually never been to Flordia or on a plane before."

"They're ok with it. They understand mutation scientifically. They're both marine biologists." Jordan says. "They just have a problem with my not being the brain that they are." He laughs, moving to lay back on his bed.

"I'm glad you're not 'the brain', I like you as 'the jock'." Robyn teases as he really could care less about sterotypes and what Jordan's is. "What's it like where you live in Florida? Everyone assumes Disney World and Theme parks but I doubt everywhere is like that."

"Lots of sand and beaches though, where I live. Aquariums. Mostly just a city." Jordan says with a shrug. "Not really anything special other than the fact that the temperature never goes below 60 usually."

"That doesn't sound bad or anything, better than New York City and the pavement paradise." Robyn says shruging as well. "Florida sounds nice though, I really need to get away from here, if just for a bit. Tensions with everything are just too high." He can wait until he's healed. "I have something for you, but I have to finish painting it."

"When do you want to go. I know they have spring break, but I bet they'd let us go down there when we want. And just make up work during the break." Jordan says, putting that out there. They could go at anytime, maybe.

"As soon as I'm healed?" Robyn says with a bit of a smile on his face as he takes Jordan's hand in his again. "Then maybe I'll stop sleeping four times a day and be able to do stuff. With those crazy machines downstairs, it actually helps you heal faster so that's good. I just have to tell my parents and might have to stop by to visit them before we leave. You're welcome anytime to see my parents with me."

"I know. But I don't know if going out in public except back home, while I look like this is such a good idea." Jordan says with a shrug. "Unless I was going to Mutant Town." He ponders, considering things. "Ok. Then, I'll call them and see about next week or the week after."

Robyn grins at Jordan and can't help but kiss him. "I've missed just being able to do that or to just be able to sit with you. Next week sounds great. As soon as Dr. McCoy gives me the okay. And oh! I spoke with Dr. McCoy, he's doing a DNA test to see if that guy Richard and I are really related or not."

"Please. It's so obvious. You're twins." Jordan rolls his eyes. He's seen the kid around. But he doesn't talk to anyone lately. There's no point.

"Yeah, but Richard is convinced he's an alien and doesn't even want to accept the possibility we're twins. Figures, I'm seperated at birth with someone and they're weirder than I am." Robyn says as he reaches a hand up to brush through some of Jordan's hair. "I wasn't the only one worried about you."

"Doubt that. You're the only link of sanity in this god-forsaken freak show." Jordan says with an eyeroll. "Of which I'm officially one of the freakiest now."He points to his chalky skin.

"If I'm the only link of sanity here….someone save us all." Robyn says with a smile as he really does't think he's that sane or crazy. But then maybe it's cause he's one of the few that's not itching to be a hero. "Nah, you're not one of the freakiest. You're not a seven foot tall Hyena, you don't have snakes growing out of your hair nor do you have two extra apendages. Besides…I like how you look." He says going to rest his forhead against Jordan's. "I like it just fine."

"Maybe not, but I'm solid white and see through." Jordan says with a smirk. "I don't like it much. I wanna be me again. To look normal. So I can go shopping without an image inducer."

"How about tomorrow, when I go down to the medbay to get my bandages changed, I drag you down there with me to see Dr. McCoy, to see if he can do anythign to make you, you again. He's still recovering though….would that be a problem?" Robyn says trying to be positive for Jordan. He's refusing to look at any down side, he has to be strong for him, right? "You have to be happy with who you are so I'll help you figure out how to be you again."

"If he keeps the injury covered and doesn't act like it's a problem… I should be ok." He says thinking about it. "I don't know for sure. I kept myself away on purpose." But that's Jordan. He knows what's wrong at least.

"He wasn't acting like it last night, he helped me re-wrap my shoulder with his foot?" Robyn says but he doesn't mention that Hank's recovering from having Jordan shot through his shoulder. "I can be down there with you if you want. Just let me know. God sometimes I wish I was a better mentalist. Like Addison or Jono. All I can do is…crap compaired to them."

"I… don't want either of them in my head. Jono was as bad off as I was. And I still don't trust the redhead." Jordan says. "I want to be right. But I don't want him to do it. Especially now that he's gone Phoenix. I worry for all of our safety like that."

"That's what Jono was saying, and yeah. I don't know any other telepaths, and I don't think stabbing you with my psiblades or possesing you would work." Robyn says as he's teasing about the last part. "I've…been absorbing some psychic energy off of Addison…it's…different than anything I've felt."

"It broke me out."Jordan says with a shrug. "Which was what you wanted. Maybe you can channel a desire into it and use that as an attack." He says, wondering. But he has no clue. "I think it's time for an afternoon nap."

"I really don't know, I'm not sure. I don't know much about how my psi-daggers work." Robyn says as he looks at Jordan and smiles. "Want me to leave or do you mind if I nap here with you?" After all he really is taking a lot of naps lately.

"I don't know how the school would feel about that." Jordan says honestly. "Considering… we might want to be good for a bit."

Robyn frowns at that and nods. "Alright." He'd rather not leave but gives Jordan a gentle hug and a kiss before leaving. The kiss would be a little less than chaste if Jordan lets him. "I love you Jordan, and I'm glad your back. If you need anything, I'm here for you." He says as he goes to leave.

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