2010-07-14: Unnecessary Guilt


Emma_icon.jpg Jinx_icon.jpg Robyn_icon.jpg

Summary: Emma guides Jinx through comforting Robyn.

Date: July 14, 2010

Log Title Unnecessary Guilt

Rating: PG

Xavier Mansion - Medical Bay

The Medical Bay contains the latest medical equipment to patch up students and X-Men with the smallest and worst injuries. Six beds line the walls for injured patients. Equipment lines the walls, medicine in the cabinets, and more serious medical supplies locked in cabinets. One this about this room it screams sterilization.

The voice causes Robyn to open his eyes and look over at Jinx. "Jinx…are you okay?" He asks and then it all comes flooding back, almost forgotten in those moments between sleep and waking up. "Oh god Jinx.." Robyn says and the boy who doesn't like to cry, especially in front of others, just breaks down. "I'm sorry Jinx, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to but…" He tries to stop the tears but they just keep coming. "It's all my fault Jinx, it's all my fault."

Jinx just stares at the boy. She didn't need to even *do* anything this time and he's crying. The girl sits still, her hands folded in her lap as she rests in the bed. She wears a slightly less-terrible-than-normal gown, owing to the fact that this is Xavier's and their gowns are not ugly. "Robyn, what are you crying about?" she asks, truely bewildered. "You didn't do anything Wrong."

Stepping into the room, the first thing Emma Frost sees is the pair in this position and the crying young man. It's an easy thing for her… for the moment she places herself inside a perception shift for Robyn's, though the scent of her perfume carries through to the more sensitive nose of the fuzzy girl. Moving to the other side of the bay and across from the pair where they are, should Jinx look up, she will see Emma with a concerned look and a finger to her lips for her silence.

It's fear, stress, injury and guilt all rolled into one that causes Robyn to break down. "Yes, I did. I did something stupid by trying to possess him. If I didn't do that, I wouldn't have gotten hit by a car. Also if I just listened and didn't tell you guys like she told me not to, she wouldn't have used me to hurt you." He blames himself, the one stupid thing he did was like cascade effect and he started it, or at least e believes so.

Jinx smells the perfume and her eyes breifly cant to the the direction. She moves with a slowness, her consciousness feeling alien in her head. She thinks and operates as if through a soupy world. "That's a lot of connections, Robyn. You responsible for Connor getting possessed by his future-self too? If not, you can throw that in there if you're gonna get yourself worked up."

Only the girl can see the brief smile on Emma's and a slight but encouraging nod to her as she reaches out with her own mind and into Jinx's. Inside there, the White Queen begins to feed some of her own energy, bolstering and helping to focus Jinx's mind against the injuries and fatigue, and to give Jinx a slightly more clear perceptive state. Watching Robyn however, she remains a silent but guardian angel to the boy, the worry on her brow apparent only to those who have known her longer than these.

"That future Connor can jump off a cliff for all I care, he's not my friend." Robyn really doesn't mean it but he's just upset that his friend isn't there when he needs him most. He finally stops crying and gets really quiet, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm an idiot Jinx."

Jinx's mind develops a bit of clarity and her gaze sharpens. She wonders why the teacher is not helping out the more broken Robyn instead… ahh, information. Jinx's ears flick, one holding a brand new piercing thanks to the exploding oxygen tank. "No you aren't. You're just as fucked up as the rest of us, and given all the blackmail and intimidation we went through, I don't think you could have done anything else… except maybe run away. But we're not here to learn how to run away, right? This place isn't for cowards," she pauses, inhaling death and sickness and chemicals and Chanel no.5. "You were the bravest of all of us, Robyn."

The mental voice is a whisper in Jinx's mind, head just after Emma touches her forehead, «Good, my dear… very good. You're doing fine. If you have questions, you need merely think them. But for now, yours is the voice your friend needs more than anything I could say.» And there's a silent sigh from her, and for a moment her hand twitches, almost for a want to stroke Robyn's hair, but that movement is stifled and she remains where she is, eyes slightly downcast and obscured with forelocks trailing like rays of ashen sun.

"No, to be brave is to admit you're defeated, admit you can't do something. I went over my head and got beat. Then I had Selene mess with me and I couldn't do anything by lie here, what's brave about that?" Of course Robyn's not thinking about how he came to Jinx's defense last night the best he could, dispite his injuries, getting out of bed to try to help. "This place is to teach us to be smart with our powers but I couldn't be smart. I just rushed in cause I was scared and worried for a friend. I thought…I thought I could help."

"I bet the Xmen do plenty of dumb things," Jinx murmurs soothingly to her friend. "You think they don't? I bet they spend half their time bailing out their friends. You crawled out of bed to throw a bedpan at James last night and help me. That was awesome and a great use of the tools you had available. I don't see how you couldn't be proud," she thinks quickly, her head pounding from the damage it has taken. "None of us are the worse for wear. Well, you are. You don't need to kick yourself for our benefit, is all I am saying."

Jinx thinks, trying out this psychic connection. «Why aren't you helping him? He's falling apart.»

Emma replies with the same soft touch, «Simple… anything I would say would be counter-productive. I have no connection to Robyn. My words would be taken as the words of an adult chiding him for his behavior. Through you he will hear the things he needs to hear. The things he cannot say to himself because his guilt and his pain block out the voices of reason. You're on the right path Imogen. I'm here to help you.» A nod once more in reply before she moves over and stands next to Jinx on the other side of the bed, and touches her hand to strengthen the link, and help keep her mind clear as if she was healthy.

"I didn't want to let James hurt you, I already did and…I'm so sorry Jinx. I didn't want to drain you. I just..I can't control it." Not when he's that low. Even when Robyn is a little bit low he'll just drain someone what he needs which is why he makes sure to only drain off of people who can handle it such as Addison and Jono. "If I just came to you guys first with my plan instead of just running in that night, things could have been different. Lucas wouldn't have had to blow up this place. You would have been okay." And then the mention of Lucas's name makes him realize the last thing he remembers is the explosion. "Is Lucas okay?"

Jinx winces as her given name is used. She hates that more than anything. Through the link a seething puddle of annoyance sparkles at the name. «Just Jinx, please, ma'am. It's better for everyone that way.» "I think Lucas is fine. I think he picked me up and dragged me out of here. You got carried out by Forge — who is really hot!" She grins then, a bright flush of teen girl interest. The warmth continues as she thinks about the exotic teacher. "I remember smelling Lucas. I don't remember much after I bit James. And shoot. I don't blame you for doing what you do. Just try touching me sometime when I am having a bad day. You'd get slammed. All that matters is that we come out okay, right?" «Maybe one of his favorite teachers can come down. He needs a hug and I don't think his boyfriend's much on medbays.»

«Jinx…» Emma's tone is slightly admonishing, «This boy is your friend, and you right now are his confessor. That he would burden himself upon you is proof enough of how he thinks of you, and this is important. Teachers are respected, and listened to… but a friend is talked to. He will say things to you he would not a mentor. And yes… I'll admit Forge has a certain elemental handsomeness to him. With his line of conversation, he will most likely tell you that things are not allright. You will need to get him to listen to you, and make it clear that what was done to him was wrong, not what he was made to do to you. This situation is no one person's fault. We're all to blame. Even me.»

The mention of Forge being hot isn't lost on Robyn and it's the only positive thing that he acknowledges. His eyes finally do find their way to Jinx and he nods. "Yeah…he is. That's why you should have self defense lessons with me. You can look at Forge." He says as the good looks of his squad leader haven't been lost on him. "I'm glad Lucas is okay. And how are you doing?" He can't remember if he asked that earlier but he's kind of changing the subject.

Jinx dislikes being told what to do, and she hisses a soft sigh of teen angst. Adults! Like they know everything. "I am…" and she thinks about that. Punctured. Drained. Filled. Burnt. Cold. Changed. "I'm okay," she answers, as it seems like the best over-all noncommittal answer. "But Robyn, I am okay. If you hadn't thrown that bedpan, maybe I would be dead… for real," she licks her lips. The brush scared her and brought her too close to a place one should not visit. Her dark shapeless dreams haunt her. "I want to do that training, too, for more reasons than just watching Forge. Hee hee. Hey, after this we should like all hang out and have a beach day or something. Maybe they will let us start a fire to roast weenies or something?"

The reply comes in a terse, «Very well, child.» And Emma walks back to the entrance of the medical bay, and then lets her perception shift drop in time to say, "Hello children… is everything well?" Aptly playing as if she was never present, though her psi-link to Jinx remains to keep her focus bolstered, as well as discreetly monitoring her state, "I'd heard enough from this morning to think that perhaps I should pay a visit."

"Good, I'm glad you're okay." Robyn says as he knows she's injured but she's okay in the same way he is, not dead. "I like that, just hang out and have fun. We…we need that." He's about to say more when Emma was in and he gets quiet and closes his eyes for a few seconds just hoping he doesn't look like he just bawled. "Um..hello Ms. Frost. I..uh…guess it's as well as it can be?" He says awkwardly.

Jinx doesn't seem surprised to see Ms. Frost. "Hello, Ms. Frost," she doesn't look all that repentant, either. Ungrateful teen that she is, she rubs her nose with the back of her hand. "Hey, can we have a weenie roast on the beach at the cove? I promise we'll clean up after ourselves and kill any embers," she grins, showing an array of sharp teeth that comes no where close to rivaling James.

Emma seems to ponder on it for several moments, and then nods, lips pursed before saying, "Well, of course. The cove is a convenient place. There are others though. I know a lovely little villa up along the Maine coastline this time of year where I'm sure the pair of you and a good half-dozen other friends could spend a weekend. After everything that's happened, I understand a want to get away from here." Stopping next to Robyn, she then adds, "Good. I came to let you know that I am not reporting this incident to your parents, but I was required by regulation to inform them of the accident. They were perturbed, but since we can assume the driver was drunk and inattentive, I was able to stave off your mother's peevishness and desire to have you home for the rest of the summer."

"And s'mores." Robyn says since a weenie roast and s'mores go hand in hand. Before he can have a chance to process the offer of a weekend away in Maine, his parents are mentioned and that they know he's injured. He's worried his parents and he closes his eyes with a sigh. "Am I allowed to talk to my Mom later, let her know I'm okay?" He feels horrible worrying his mother since she already is uncomfortable as it is with him going to school here.

Jinx's eyebrows arch high. A beach house?!? Alone!?! It's a dream come through, and excitement and delight blooms through her like a room full of roses. "Wow! Awesome! Thanks! That would be great!" she breathes, just imagining all the fun (and mischief) that could be had. Of course she will need the inducer, and a new not-borrowed swimsuit, and maybe the Blackbird will take them there…! She is wrapped up in her selfish enthusiasm and only vaguely listens in about Robyn's mom. Her own wouldn't care much, preferring to put the shame of a furry mutant girlchild behind her. "Heal up fast, Robyn! We gotta go before it gets too cold to go in the water!"

Emma bubbles up a fresh chuckle as she reaches over to touch Robyn's cheek, "Of course you can speak to them… but I suggest you not mention any of the other strangeness. Your mother seems frayed with worry over you… and I would not want her to deprive you of your senior year around your friends. Now…" Fishing out another of the same handkerchiefs she used with Jinx, she reaches in and begins to dab at Robyn's eyes, "I'm given to understand you acquitted yourself in a true… if unorthodox gentlemanly fashion. I've heard nothing but fits of giggles and the word bedpan from Mister Drake all morning. Word of your exploits has gotten around, I would imagine."

"My mom hates superhero stuff, so..I know what I can tell her." Robyn says as he looks over at Jinx and there's a small smile. It's nice to see her excited about something, lets him know she will be alright. "I'll heal as fast as the alien tech lets me, and as long as I don't do anything stupid." Like get out of bed to aggrivate injuries. There is a wince and Robyn tries to move his head from his eyes being dabbed at. "It was there and it looked solid." Robyn says of the bedpain.

Jinx fades back from the conversation, and eventually feels herself overwhelmed by all this thinking and talking. While the mind is boulstered, her body is darned tired. Soon, she finds her eyes impossible to keep open, and imagines closing them for just a second. It's all the break her body needs before she passes out completely, sinking back into a dark, black dreamworld.

Emma subtly nudges Jinx into a slightly more peaceful dream-state before gently pulling back from the mental link, and letting it fade. Focusing once more on Robyn, she says softly, "You remind me so much of a former student of mine. Cessily. While Julian might have been the driving force of my Hellions class… she was the heart. And I look at you, and I see the heart of your friendships. And I see it to be cracked… not broken… but definately cracked a little." Finishing on the tears, she leaves the handkerchief on Robyn's hands and smiles once more.

Robyn's good hand closes around the handkerchief and his eyes don't look at Emma. He stiffens his jaw and doesn't say anything for a while, he doesn't want to think of himself as cracked or damaged, even if he knows he is. "I miss my friends. James and Connor. I don't tlike them being gone even though I can see them."

Emma replies with a simple and perhaps a bit of a shock, "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing." Robyn says sounding like a little child. "I tried, I got hit by a car, I got nightly visits from Selene threatening my friends, I can't do anything to stop her. I'm not strong enough. I tried, I failed, I got my friends hurt, if I get my friends further hurt…it's already my fault enough."

That gentle face turns to a flinty expression as Emma says, "No." And she stands to her full height, "Did you create Selene? Did you spend seveteen milennia by her side forging her into what she is now? I scarcely think so. Otherwise this conversation would be under different circumstance. This is not your fault. She is a viper of the highest order, an inconsiderate and sociopathic menance upon the planet. She is many things… but one of them is not YOUR Fault. We are all to blame for this outcome, Robyn. All of us. Not just you. The only thing you should be at fault for? Is caring. And caring is something that she will never truly understand. She will see it as a weakness. But is it a strength." And as her hand comes down, she touches over Robyn's good hand, "What are you going to do about it?" She asks again.

Robyn tenses as his hand is touched and doesn't say much. He lets the words sink in but they don't do anything to ease the guilt he feels. "I don't know what I can do. There isn't anything. I can just hope that you guys can take care of her and get my friend back. I'm just a kid whose still learning his powers. I'm not strong, I'm not a match for her. And I don't know what she did with James if he's just 'sleeping' or if his mind is somewhere else…there's nothing I can do."

Slowly, Emma shakes her head, "You can do something, Robyn. The first thing you can do is not give her the satisfaction. Right now… as you are… is what Selene wants. Uncertain, guilty, second-guessing yourself. Questioning every move and action. Do not give her the satisfaction. Do not let her actions rule your heart, Robyn." Squeezing the hand once before she releases it, Emma stands up once more, "Remember the tale of the Goblin King in the Labyrinth, Robyn. Remember what Sarah learned on her journey. She always had the power to save herself and her brother, from the beginning. But it was the will and the resolve to use it that was challenged by Jareth, the Goblin King. And even when Sarah was broken, hungry, and had eaten the peach that stole her memory… she did not give him the satisfaction of winning. Even when she didn't know what to do, she still moved forward."

Robyn listens and he wants it to be true, he really does, but his confidence has been crushed. And in his mind, Sarah wasn't confined to a damn bed with an IV stuck in her arm. "Well I don't have a cool soundtrack by David Bowie and Jim Henson muppet friends to help out." He could really use someone like Ludo right now. "Ms. Frost, thanks for trying to make me feel better but really, my powers aren't any match for hers. I'm stuck down here, my best friends are gone and…Jinx is just as bad off as I am. Lucas is the one whose gonna save him, not me."

The peal of laughter is slow, but rich, and when it settles, Emma replies, "Your gift, and it's problems are just that… and that has nothing to do with power. The things we are granted by the X-gene need three things to drive them. Will, determination, and understanding. Just because you are here… does not make you powerless. Will is something all your own, so is your determination, and the understanding of what you can, and what you cannot do. Our job is to help you learn to use your gift responsibly, to understand it's nature. We… and it… are only one third of the equation. Now… I ask again…" And she focuses in intensely on the young man, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know!" Robyn says a bit more forcefully then he intended. He's getting frustrated and floundering. He feels that Emma expects something from him that's impossible. "I don't know what I'm going to do!" He says for the second time in about a half hour he starts to cry again. It's one of those cries where he's trying so hard to hold it back, but he can't help it. "I don't know, I just don't know."

Emma comes around behind Robyn, and puts her arms on his shoulders, and then slides them down ever so gently into a tender and light hug, "That's a good start…" She whispers, "Let it out, Robyn… let it all out… you needn't worry. I understand." The last two said with an ever so slight catch in her voice as she continues to hold the boy close. A child old enough to be her own son had life turned a different path, "You're safe now."

Robyn cries into the handkerchief, it's just been too much for him and not enough time to process it all. After a good couple of minutes he calms down to a case of the hiccups. "I hate crying. It doesn't solve anything." He whispers as he wipes his eyes. "I think I'm gonna get more sleep now." He says between hiccups as he just wants to be alone at the moment and not feel vulnerable in front of the headmistress.

Emma helps Robyn back in the bed, and then touches his forehead for a moment, meeting his eyes for a long moment, "Then sleep. And remember that question. Don't ponder on what has happened, or who was at fault. Always ask yourself what you are going to do about it, Robyn Larkin… and keep asking… until you find an answer that satisfies your heart." And with that she turns to leave, "Sleep well, Mister Larkin. I will check in on you later."

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