2011-02-01: What Do I Do?



Special Guest - Abraham

Summary: Hosea and Abraham talk about Hosea's inner turmoil.

Date: February 1, 2011

Log Title: What Do I Do?

Rating: PG

Africa - Rundown Village

The lush green trees of the rainforest hide the small village, with only one road that leads out. The road clearly doesn't get much use, high grass growing up the center. It's nestled next to a beautiful river, flowing with the clean source of water. Still, it is a good walk down a slippery slope to get there.
The village here is poor, but hardly unpopulated. There is one solid building standing at the middle of town, and that's the church, though even that is a roug stucco building. It also seems to double as a clinic. There is no steeple, it is a simple block building, but a cross stands high over the main entrance of the buildling. There are no white people who live here, a dark shade of black on the skin tones of each inhabitant. Though it is small, there are people who live and play. Children run amidst dogs, the women wash clothes and cook while men bring in the food. Some traces of civilization can be found, playing cards and checkers seems to bethe popular activities among the elderly, and they can be found in the shade of any of dozens of trees or around the large fire kept burning at the center.
The rest of the buildings in town are all the same. They are grass huts, and offer little privacy. None of the inhabitants seem to mind, content with their community life. This might offend some of the sensibilities of Americans, but they don't seem bothered by such things.

Tomorrow is the day. The rescue is imminent, but the result is yet to be seen. Yesterday Abraham taught about the willingness to trust that even in our darkest times, God will provide for and protect his people. Hosea wants to believe it, but doubt has clouded his thought. With everything going on, between kidnappings and failed rescue attempts, he's hardly been able to talk to Abraham one on one. He sits on a stump at the edge of the village in the evening, a tooth necklace made by one of the women of the village for him in hand. One by one, he shifts the beads and teeth along the cord, staring out into the unsympathetic forest.

It hasn't been hard for Abraham to tell that the young Hosea has been feeling conflicted so after leaving him to his thoughts for a bit the man follows his path towards where Hosea is and sits down next to him. His eyes gaze out to the forest as well and just lets things be for a while, letting himself be a presence there, inviting Hosea to say the first word.

The shifting of the beads stops for a moment, and the former soldier glances toward his mentor. The shifting continues, and he looks back out into the forest. It's another minute before the lighter skinned African speaks. "I tried to explain to the others that God has power over this situation. I told them what is true," he says in Igbo. "But I do not know how to convince them when I am not convinced myself. It does seem that the wicked are allowed to flourish in this world, whether here or in America."

Abraham listens and nods before looking over at Hosea. "You are feeling doubt but you have to believe with your heart and know with your heart that God has a greater purpose in all this. Times may seem dark, yes? But there is light at end and you must have faith in God that he will lead you to the light. Convincing those who do not want to believe though Hosea, that is very hard."
Cloud has disconnected.

Hosea takes in a deep breath. "I worry for the others," the teen answers. "I fear that Connor is becoming what I was, and I do not know how to stop it. My father could speak, and even warlords like Nero listened, and they repented of their sins. Why is it not like that now?" he thumbs through the necklace a little faster. "I wish to go and do as he could. I feel that when I tell people the truth, they wish to make me their enemy."

"You are not your father Hosea, you cannot live in his shadow hoping you can be him." Abraham says. "God may have different plans for you. Was God's son just like him? No he was not. Also sometimes the challenges he was presented with were a great burden and challenge on him. And this Connor, you may wish to help Hosea, which is good but you cannot force people to see the truth if they are willingly blind."

"Americans are fools," Hosea growls. "They understand nothing. I fear that this operation will go poorly." He stands to his feet. "They think they understand many things because they are mutants, and that somehow that makes them able to overcome all obstacles. Their lives are soft, and they do not understand the importance of suffering. He puts his hands on his hips, and turns back to face Abraham. "I know I cannot force them to change. But what shall I do? I have ruined my testimony, Avraham. In America, I attacked a woman in the city. I attacked the men with her. They were evil, but that did not make it right for me to attack them. I regret that I ruined my testimony, but I cannot bring myself to regret attacking them. When we leave tomorrow, what if I become again a soldier? I do not want Nero to win over me again."

"Is it really for you to judge who is a fool and who is not?" Abraham questions Hosea. "You were sent to America by God's will for a reason. You are being judgemental Hosea. Have you asked any of them if they know what it is to suffer?" He stands up and puts a hand gently on Hosea's shoulder and offers him a soft look. "What shall you do? Pray. Pray and God will let you heart know what you should do. You must ask God for forgiveness for your sins and ask God to make you stronger. To avoid temptation. This is a test for you, the tempation is out there Hosea, let God be your strength to avoid it. If you have faith, faith will make you Strong and you will avoid tempation and Nero will not win."

Hosea snorts. Abraham is right, which makes it sting that much more. "It is so much easier to say than to do," Hosea contests. Of course, there's never a promise in the Bible that trusting the Lord will be easy. Sometimes it means going against everything that seems rational to man. Likewise, he likely doesn't need to explain the struggle of trusting the Lord in difficult situations to the man who's village has been disappearing to be turned into murderous monsters by an evil warlord. "I wish that I could so easily trust as you do. I lay down my burdens only to pick them back up."

"It always is Hosea, it always is. But noone ever said life was easy. God lays downs tests for us all the time. You think it is easy for me when people in the village die and go to join God? Do you think it is easy right now with one third of the village missing? No it is not. But I have faith things will work out and I will smile becase God is watching out for me and his children." Abraham says. "It has taken a long time to trust this easily. You are still young, it is easier to be lead astray when you are young. Those that you brought with you Hosea, from America, are they people you trust?"

"They mean well," Hosea says. It's not quite the same thing. "I do not think they would intentionally act against what is best. They just do not know any better."
"Any better than what?" Abraham asks. "And you did not answer my question. You avoided it."

"Than to act silly," Hosea answers. "They try to give advice to me, but they do not know what they are talking about. The truth is not in them." He isn't sure whether he really trusts them or not. "I trust that they will not intend to do me wrong." Not necessarily that they won't unintentionally do him wrong.

"Do you listen to their advice or do you just ignore it as being too silly?" Abraham asks. He's not judging Hosea or his companions just trying to give more insite to the boy. "God gives us what we need. You know this. Look around you, they are are there, maybe God has sent you them and them you because you need each other to stay strong against Nero and to rescue your companions."

"What can they give to me to listen to?" Hosea asks. "The wisdom of men? They will not listen to me, they think that we are fools because here people live in huts, so they must not be wise."

"What can they not give you to listen to?" Abraham challenges back. "You are being stubborn Hosea. Did they out right tell you that we are fools? Did they tell you we are not wise? Or are you just believing this for a reason to distrust? God gives us what we need and what we can use. God brought you and your friends here to help. God is testing you now with Nero again. God is also giving you what you need to pass this test but it seems your stubborness is blinding you."

Hosea frowns. "Some of them have," he answers. Not all of them, though. "They reject who God is. They say things like "God only helps those who help themselves" and other nonsense. That is not the truth! The truth is that we are helpless without God to move in our lives. I do not want to be stubborn, but it hurts me to hear them believing lies." He puts his hand to his chest. "I want to see, I just do not understand what God would have me do with them."

There's a sigh from the leader of the village as he shakes his head. "I know this is difficult Hosea. It is hard when they do not see what is right in front of them but you must learn patience as well. Do not let them get to you Hosea. You are with them for a reason. You live in America with them for a reason. Have faith and patience, be strong of heart and God will lead you to what you need to do.

The student smiles weakly. "I wish he would give me patience faster," he makes the obviously ironic statement. "Thank you, I feel that I have been gone from this place too long. I have let the cares of the world sink in under my skin.

Abraham pats Hosea on the shoulder. "You should visit more if you can." He says as he's been grateful for Hosea's presence and the presence of those he brought with him. "I have things I must do for now. Stay out here as long as you need to and just listen Hosea. He is there."

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