2010-01-29: You Have A Choice


Mikhail_icon.jpg Robyn_icon.jpg

Summary: Mikhail is trying to be come more…normal.

Date: January 29, 2010

Log Title You Have A Choice

Rating: PG

Xavier Mansion - Recreation Room

What was once the Parlor has been turned into a Recreation Room for the students. A nice plush carpet meets the light blue walls giving it a homey feel. A pool table at one end, a foos ball table at the other, and entertainment center with video game systems, movies, and of course, cable TV. Big comfy chairs and couches surround a coffee table for comfortable loafing. Long glass windows with a pair of French doors line one side of the room bringing in plenty of light during the day. The main rule in here is to clean up after yourself.

It's been a long last few weeks but Robyn's finally feeling a bit better about everything. He's still torn on a lot of things but he's been trying to take it easy, not be so much of a pain in the ass. He's curled up on the couch with his one stuffed 'animal' in his arms, a Vampire Teddy Bear from Nightmare Before Christmas while watching Sleepy Hollow. He's dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans with Jolly Roger t-shirt over a longsleeved black and white stripped shirt. Shoes are on the floor as he sits their in his socks. At least he's back to dressing like his normal self. On the table in front of him is a plate of bacon and home fries, looks like a half eatten breakfast.

Mikhail has been watching a lot of TV and is learning how to appear more human, hes dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans with ripped knees, for once this is for fashon purposes, a black t-shirt, red sneakers, a black and grey checkered emo scarf and is even wearing socks and boxershorts, the waistband is just ubove the top of his jeans, hes even got headphones around his neck connected to and ipod and has cut his hair. When he walks in he spots Robyn watching TV, he walks over, "Heya Robyn, you mind if Mi… I sit down", he says the sentance in a well practised New York accent, but still struggles not to say Mikhail instead of I.

Robyn looks at Mikhail and smiles. "Wow…you got a hair cut." He says a bit taken back by the 'new' Mikhail. "Sure, you can join me, I was just watching Sleepy Hollow and…what's with speaking in the first person?" He definately notices it and it's just weird sounding to him coming out of the Romanian. "So how have you been holding up? Sorry I never came down to help you escape from the medbay, things got really hectic that…I forgot." He admits.

Mikhail shrugs and sits down next to Robyn, "Just realised that i gotta stop acting like a spaz", he doesn't quite understand everything hes saying, but for his purposes it doesn't matter, "Don't worry man, you had your own stuff to deal with".

Robyn looks at Mikhail curiously and ignores the movie. "You okay Mik? You're not acting like you, it's like…you're talking and acting like…normal teenagers are and it's not you. You okay? I mean really, is everything okay?" He does sound worried especally since to him, it seems that Mikhail has had quite a bit of a change of 'self'.

Mikhail rolls his eyes and nods hopeing he got the gesture right, "Yeah Robyn, Im fine, wasn't the point of me coming here to learn how to be normal?, i mean before i was like a total freak", yeah one of the shows Mik's been watching was 90210, so there is some stuck up cool kid speek in his vocabulary now.

Robyn shakes his head. "No, not normal but learn how to live with your powers without accidentally hurting yourself or others. Just learning to deal with them and that we're not alone. You weren't a total freak before, I like you for who you are. Something my parents always told me, be yourself no matter what. As long as you're true to yourself, that's what matters most. If people don't like you for who you are, screw them, they're not worth your time." Robyn really does believe this as it was the way he was raised. "Sure it might have lead to being picked on and beat up a lot in school and maybe I'm not popular or have a lot of friends, but that's not who I am. I'm happy with who I am so I'm not going to change for anyone. The question was, were you happy with who Mikhail was?"

Mikhail sighs, "Look Robyn, we both know the way a was before was stupid, like you said yourself, i was an obnoxious brat, i was like a fucking caveman, you might be able to deal with someone like that, but the rest of the world can't", he looks round at Robyn, "Anyway, if you're so happy with who you are, why did i hear that you bailed?", the word bailed confuses him as he looked it up and it has several meanings, but hes pretty sure it can be used in that context.

Robyn blinks and bites his lower lip, looking down. "Because, I can't take it here anymore Mikhail. Too many people I care about are destroying themselves and I feel like I can't do anything to help them. Even you're changing into something you're not. I don't care if you were a caveman, you were you. And I don't think you're an obnoxious brat Mikahil, I think you're interesting." Mikhail will be able to tell that there are no lies from Robyn but that he might actually be close to losing it again. "I feel like everyone is tearing themselves apart and it hurts to watch it Mik."

Mikhail does notice he shift in Robyn and puts his arm round his sholder, "Look, i know it hard, but its the way the world works, its a bad place and bad things will happen, but if you bail it doesn't solve things, you have to face them sometime, and im still Mikhail, just a better one".

"I know, that's what Jono told me. I promised him I'd come back and once the whole Demon thing is over, he'll take me home." Robyn says smiling at Mikhail. "Just don't ever stop being you. To many people are fake, even some people I really care about, but you, you're different that most Mikhail. Do me a favour Mikhail? Don't stop hunting?"

Damn you Robyn why did you have to mention hunting?, Mikhail has been consentrating all his efforts on not letting the instinct to go for a hunt cross his mind, "Fine, i'll keep hunting, but you can't tell anyone, Mr Weyrin told me im not allowed to do that anymore".

Robyn looks at Mikhail and raises his eyebrows. "Why not, you love to do it and you're not hurting anyone. You love to hunt Mik and like me with art and Dallas with sports I think it helps you relax. But if you want to fit in more, I can help you clothing wise. Just be yourself inside okay?"

Sorry Robyn, no dice, Mikhail is doing this for a reason and as far as he can tell no one here acts like themselves, they act like how they want people to think they are, but for Robyn's benifit hes gonna do the lying thing again, "Deal, i'll be myself", at least he'll make Robyn think he is.

Robyn reaches over and puts an arm around Mikhail and smiles. "Thanks. That's just what I was taught was the most important thing, be yourself. I just hope everything works out and ends soon and everything will kinda go back to normal. Do you think…I'll ever see Jordan again?" It's the first time he's truely expressed this fear with someone.

Mikhail realy doesn't think so, good things don't seem to happen to good people, he doesn't think Jorden will come back, "Urrm, yeah Robyn of course you are, he'll be back in no time", thats if he surrvies the next few weeks, which he doubts, hes not really sure hes gonna servive either to be honest.

Robyn looks down at the ground and sighs, as he can tell Mikhail isn't being truthful. "That's what I thought Mikhail. You can be honest with me, but I'm having trouble believing he will be. You know what isn't fair, Nathaniel's back to normal and Lucas is back to normal and they both did horrible things while turned. Jordan is the one who rescues us and he's still somewhere, doing who knows what. A part of him is in there since he did rescue us but I'm not about to run after him and try to be a saviour to get myself, or others, hurt."

Mikhail cant help it, when Robyn mentions Nathaniel and Lucas he lets out a deep growl, "Yeah, that isn't fair that they are here, and the one person who saved us from them isn't", he know Jordan's scent and could find him if he tried, "Robyn, you know im pretty hard to kill right?, do you want me to try and find him?"

Robyn shakes his head. "I can't do that Mikhail. I know you're hard to kill but I can't ask you go out there, not for me. If anyone should look for him, it's me, but it's not worth it. Risking you going out there, isn't worth it. I'm not going to be like other people and risk people I care about just so I can get what I want. I'm not like that."

Robyn you idiot, if you love Jordan, Mikhail's going anyway, he nods at Robyn and spits out the word "Rashmi".

Robyn didn't want to say any names, as he's trying to just get along with everyone the best he can. He alredy gave her his opinion but he's not about to rub it in that they were right. It's not his way. "So Mikhail, have you ever seen a Tim Burton movie before?" He asks as an obvious change of subject.

Mikhail shakes his head, "No i haven't, i dont really watch TV", hes getting good at this lying thing, well at least he thinks he is, but Robyn might guess that hes learned his new attitude from watching TV, "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to watch Sleepy Hollow with me, I was in the middle of watching it but I can start it over and we can start from the begining." Robyn says likeing to share his interest with friends. "It's about the headless horsemen and it's kinda dark but I like it. I wasn't sure, from what you told me, if you got much exposure to movies and stuff."

Mikhail nods, Ok sure, I'll watch it", he doesn't understand how a horseman can be headless, wouldn't he fall off the horse?, "No i didn't really get much exposure to movies, I didn't know what a TV was untill i got here".

Robyn looks at Mikhail and puts his hand on his shoulder and gives him a smile. "Talking to you has really helped Mikhail. Thanks, for…leting me talk. Since you seem to want to be 'normal', or a regular teen, how about I help you with that can we can spend time doing stuff like watching TV and movies and hanging out like normal teenagers do? If you don't like something, just let me know."

Mikhail smiles back, "Im glad it helped Robyn, you and Dallas are my best friends, i dont like seeing you feeling bad", hmm, learming to act normal from an actual person might actually be a good idea, "Yeah, that sounds like fun Robyn, it'll be cool acting like a normal teenager".

Robyn shakes his head. "Not acting but help you to be who you want to be. Help you to feel normal. And as for Dallas, make sure you get him to tell you about sports. I think you might like them, I don't, but since you like hunting and psysical stuff, I think you would enjoy it."

Mikhail laughs, "Ok, not acting, being", this acting stuffs not so hard, nice to know everyone he thought is so smart is so easily fooled, but he will talk to Dallas, if anyone knows how to act differently than they are, Dallas does, "I'll talk to Dallas then".

Robyn smiles and nods. "You know I like you Mikhail and think you're a great guy. I'm glad you came here and are away from your old life. I'm just sorry that all this chaos is going on that it's such a bad time for everyone. At least you didn't have to see me as a frog?" He says trying to joke a bit.

Mikhail goes quiet as he thinks about his old life, "Yeah i am too, that place sucked", he starts absent mindedly scratching at the tattoo on his wrist, but due to the sharpness of his nails he cuts straight though the flesh, "You were a frog?"

Robyn reaches out to place a hand on Mikhail's to stop him from scratching himself, it's a soft touch, not one ment to strong arm in into stopping. "You're scratching yourself Mikhail." He looks down and remembers the tattoo, Mikhail's name crossed out. "Yeah I was turned into a frog for a bit, it…wasn't fun. And Mikhail." He says getting an idea. "I know you don't like tattoos, but, if we can get a teacher here to be a guardian, make we can find something you like to get tattooed over it, to cover it up. That way you don't have to look at in anymore. You can start making your own choices about what's on your body, not have them made for you?"

Mikhail looks down at his wrist and stops scratching, luckily he didn't cut though the vein so it quickly heals, the touches the blood on his wrist and looks at his blood-covered fingers, "Choice?, nice thing to have i guess", he replays all the things that happened to him before he came here in his head, his hands clench into fists, for some reason he's never felt angry about what happened to him but finally something clicks into place, he stands up and begins repeatedly punching the wall, when he stops there is a large hole though the wall, and his hand is bleeding badly.

Robyn jumps up but doesn't stop Mikhail, watching silently until his feral friedn is done. He walks over and wraps his arms around Mikhail, much like an older brother might do a younger brother except Robyn's the smaller one physcially. "It's okay Mikhail, it's okay. It's good to let it out." He says speaking in soothing tones. "You have friends here now Mik, friends who care about you and friends that care, and want you to have a choice. Everything is your choice now Mikhail. For better or for worse you're the one who choose what goes on in your life."

Mikhail looks at his bloody hand and is shaking slightly, hes feeling again but there are only negitive emotions there, for some reason this is the first time has really thought about what his life since he left the circus, when Robyn wraps his arms around him he loses it and falls to his knees, with an empty look in his eyes, remembering every moment of pain.

Robyn falls to his knees with Mikhail, not letting go and even pushing Mikhail's hair back. "It's okay Mikhail, everything's okay. You can cry if you want, I'm not going to judge you for it. I promise. It's okay." He rocks him back and fourth a bit like you would a child. Robyn's never really had to deal with a situation like this and he's never had siblings but he's trying the best he can. He's not about to call a teacher in for this.

That snaps Mikhail out of it, he has cried to many times thoughout his life over the things that happened to him, hes not gonna let Robyn see him do it, he is not weak, he returns the hug Robyn gives him but doesn't cry, he then lets go and leans away, "I'm fine, sorry about that, you didn't need to see that", he looks at his still bleeding hand and waits for it to heal, but it doesn't this happend before, that time Robyn came to see him after he'd been clawing at himself, its gonna take longer to heal than usual, but he doesn't understand why, but he does understand one thing, hes never gonna lose control like that again.

Robyn smiles at Mikhail and shakes his head. "It's okay Mikhail, it's okay for you to act like that. We all need to get it out sometimes. I've been trying to hold it in too and I've been exploding lately. I hate crying too but sometimes, you can't help it. Sometimes there's so much pain inside that it feels like crying is the only way to rid yourself of some of it." He's talking more about himself right now but hoping that it applys to Mikhail. "Do you feel better at least?"

Mikhail shakes his head, "No, I feel angry, i want to smash everything in sight, until i cant feel anything anymore", he runs a hand though his head, "This world is a horrible place, how do you stand it?"

Robyn shrugs. "Lately it feels like I haven't been able to, that's why I ran away but, Jono is right, we can't run away from our problems." He is seeing this now with Mikhail and relizes what he's saying is true for him too. "Somethings that help, and this is going to sound really cheesy, is love and friendship Mikhail. When things get really bad, you have to look for people to lean on, to help you go on. How about we go find Jono, he's got this great danger room remedy for when you're angry." He says nodding.

Mikhail nods glad that Robyn's there, "Thank you Robyn, im glad i met you, it makes thing easier", he thinks about the chance to smash things hes allowed to smash, "Sounds good", he gives a half-hearted smile.

Robyn smiles and nods. "I'm glad I met you too Mikhail. If you need a friend I know Dallas and Myself and many others will be willing and happy to be here for you. Anytime you need to talk, you can find me. Also, about that tattoo, I mean it, we can find something /you/ like to cover it up so you don't always have to look at it. You are Mikhail and don't deserve to be crossed out." He says ruffling his hair. "So lets go find Jono and see if he can set this up for you?"

Mikhail nods, his eyes have more life in them now, "Ok, i will, if i need to talk i'll come and find either you or Dallas", he looks at the tattoo and nods again, "Yeah covering it up sounds good", he looks at his bleeding hand and it heals now that hes feeling more stable, he grins, "Ok, lets find Jono".

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